And then one day
Rincewind awoke with a start." Didn't something happen yesterday? Oh I don't know and I really don't want to," he thought "all I know for a fact today is that I have to piss wait! Did I rent this room? Am I in a room I guess I should open my eyes, although I learned long ago not to open my eyes when I awake. So many bad experiences "(shudder)", well here goes". Rincewind glimpses around and sees that he appears to be in some kind of second rate inn possibly a whore house. "If only I had the money to pay for such pleasures," Rincewind croaks. "Hmm, now that I think of it, do I have enough to even pay for this room? I wish being the professor of cruel and unusual geography paid better. Actually I wish it paid at all. Anyways I am going to have to pay unless, ha ha, window one of my very best friends, I'll just pay later. Yes, much later. Just let me put on my clothes and extremely pointy hat. I still have the feeling that something happened yesterday. Oh well, here goes" Rincewind's clothing blows revealing his undergarments and at least three people stare. Something makes a sound like "sqinch" as Rincewind lands in a donkey cart. He looks around examining the contents that are soft and in sacs after not recognizing what he is in he screams at the driver: "Hey what have I landed in!?" "You sir have landed in something " "I understand that you stupid twit but what exactly is it (I am a wizard be serious buddy)?" "It, refers to many things sir" "Okay tell me what I have landed in when I jumped from the window of the inn back there along the street, ally, narrow runway of stone bricks so on" "Well sir you have landed in the palace's official garden and grass growing helper. It's a naturally made supplement.(he he he)" "Okay, by that long stream of idiotic chattering I think I am sitting in manure" "Why yes sir! You're a smart one aren't you" "Oh.just because you've got a crappy job doesn't mean you can't give a straight answer plus I am a wizard at least show respect" "Well you see sir I have to get my joys were I can" "Understandable. But really, I wonder, do you get to talk to people much? I mean how many people land in your cart(especially in your line of work)?" "You'd be quite surprised" "Hmm I guess that true. Oh well, goodbye" "Goodbye sir(what a pompous fool ha) " As Rincewind rolls and bounces along the ground the people around him (mostly scum) hear muffled things such as grr..gah..(lots of obscenities) Rincewind gazes around. "Yup, lots of scum along with that tax collector .Wait. Why do I separate them? Hey, everyone seems and looks actually confused. Most people in Ankh-Morpork are stupid but this is seems different. I have thought that something happened yesterday, I can't think of anything. Everything seems normal right now lots of urchins and illiterates on this side of town.check, not a tenth crown even in my pocket.check "(sigh)". "Um, lets see, the grass is green (well mostly dead here but you get the point) and the skies purple." Yup, it's normal alright. I guess I should ask somebody. Hey that fat fish seller looks friendly enough although he does seem to be pretty attached to that fish. Oh well, here goes. Hey I still have to piss.
And so begins Rincewind's fabled chronicles -
Rincewind awoke with a start." Didn't something happen yesterday? Oh I don't know and I really don't want to," he thought "all I know for a fact today is that I have to piss wait! Did I rent this room? Am I in a room I guess I should open my eyes, although I learned long ago not to open my eyes when I awake. So many bad experiences "(shudder)", well here goes". Rincewind glimpses around and sees that he appears to be in some kind of second rate inn possibly a whore house. "If only I had the money to pay for such pleasures," Rincewind croaks. "Hmm, now that I think of it, do I have enough to even pay for this room? I wish being the professor of cruel and unusual geography paid better. Actually I wish it paid at all. Anyways I am going to have to pay unless, ha ha, window one of my very best friends, I'll just pay later. Yes, much later. Just let me put on my clothes and extremely pointy hat. I still have the feeling that something happened yesterday. Oh well, here goes" Rincewind's clothing blows revealing his undergarments and at least three people stare. Something makes a sound like "sqinch" as Rincewind lands in a donkey cart. He looks around examining the contents that are soft and in sacs after not recognizing what he is in he screams at the driver: "Hey what have I landed in!?" "You sir have landed in something " "I understand that you stupid twit but what exactly is it (I am a wizard be serious buddy)?" "It, refers to many things sir" "Okay tell me what I have landed in when I jumped from the window of the inn back there along the street, ally, narrow runway of stone bricks so on" "Well sir you have landed in the palace's official garden and grass growing helper. It's a naturally made supplement.(he he he)" "Okay, by that long stream of idiotic chattering I think I am sitting in manure" "Why yes sir! You're a smart one aren't you" "Oh.just because you've got a crappy job doesn't mean you can't give a straight answer plus I am a wizard at least show respect" "Well you see sir I have to get my joys were I can" "Understandable. But really, I wonder, do you get to talk to people much? I mean how many people land in your cart(especially in your line of work)?" "You'd be quite surprised" "Hmm I guess that true. Oh well, goodbye" "Goodbye sir(what a pompous fool ha) " As Rincewind rolls and bounces along the ground the people around him (mostly scum) hear muffled things such as grr..gah..(lots of obscenities) Rincewind gazes around. "Yup, lots of scum along with that tax collector .Wait. Why do I separate them? Hey, everyone seems and looks actually confused. Most people in Ankh-Morpork are stupid but this is seems different. I have thought that something happened yesterday, I can't think of anything. Everything seems normal right now lots of urchins and illiterates on this side of town.check, not a tenth crown even in my pocket.check "(sigh)". "Um, lets see, the grass is green (well mostly dead here but you get the point) and the skies purple." Yup, it's normal alright. I guess I should ask somebody. Hey that fat fish seller looks friendly enough although he does seem to be pretty attached to that fish. Oh well, here goes. Hey I still have to piss.
And so begins Rincewind's fabled chronicles -