Title: Memories
Genre: ficlet pov buffy
Timeline: post-Chosen.
It's night, a light fog surrounds everything and it made my heart incapable of feeling something.
The moon lights the cemetery, and with an elegant somersault I pulverize a vampire.
I relapse with grace on the ground, taking the dust away of my blond hair, they smell of vanilla.
-My Goldilocks-
No, please, you cannot invade my mind again. Since you have died I feel your presence in me every second, so anguished that sometimes I am afraid that it will be kill me.
But I am the Slayer...I have got the power, the strenght to go on without look nobody in the face, only with my soul.
I squeeze the stake in my hand, so violently that my knuckles grow pale.
I repeat myself to be strong and to go on live...now, I'm walking among the gravestones. Alone.
Alone, because I won't to open you my heart at the right moment.
Alone, because when there was the second opportunity, it was just too late.
Alone, because you are nothing but ash.
-Do you trust me?-
Yes, I believe you Spike...always.
I trust you when you patrol with me, when Dawn was in the crypt with you, when you were the only one to be able to listen me and to light the life in me, when I felt dead inside you arrived made my heart alive again.
I trust in you until the end, I gave in your hands the destiny of humanity and you was my champion, you won.
You made us won, you made us live...and I hadn't doubts about this.
You made me live everytime that our looks crossed: hate, pain, frustration, love, desire...all was closed in your eyes, docile spring's skies when we kissed or restless seas when I disappointed you.
I love you Spike.
A lot, too much, it will break my heart.
-You always hurt the ones you loved-
It's true, I'm made mistakes...my soul made you cry.
Sometimes I think that I was the only insensitive monster without a soul between us...
And now that I understand everything, you are nothing but ash.
Only ash,
damned ash,
desperately ash,
heroic ash...but always ash.
-Every night I save you-
I know it, Spike...even if there isn't a physical contact I know that between us there is a thread that neither the dead can break, because love wins in every case...I didn't believe it in the past, but now when I stay alone in my bedroom and I want to die only to reach you, I understand that you are there, you wacht me, you save me and I don't know...maybe you pray for me.
365 days passed.
I feel the wind among my hair and I imagine you,
I feel the rain wash my face and I imagine your tears made of stars,
and when it's day and the rays of sunshine warmed me, I know that this is the power of your refulgent soul.
All this is you in harmony with the nature, with the world.
I'm still walking among the gravestones like a robot.
I searching you love, I want you, I would like to see your face a last time knowing that it's truly the last time.
I would like to let you go in peace, I would like to scream that I love you, I really love you...and I dind't say it because it simpler scream in the wind...but I feel you.
My feet walk towards my house, on the stairs, in my room.
Everything is silent, everything is normal.
Too much normal.
I let my head go down on the pillow and I close my eyes, you know they are tired to cry. I fall asleep.
An entity materializes near the girl's bed and with an hand caress her head, even if she can't detect that gesture full of love, because the entity is only evanescent.
Slowly, sweetly, without disturbing the dreams of the girl the entity sees her and gaves a tender kiss on her lips...he, the supernatural entity, he is with her every night to protect her and to guide her in safe dreams.
He tha sacrificed his life for the humanity,
he that dared herself to love her,
he that changed his nature to be a deserve man for her,
he that since 365 days watched at her bedside.
He that love her until the dead.
Spike.
The End