I could hardly believe where I was, and why I was there. Everytime I lifted my head to look up, my eyes burned to a blurr. I just wanted a do-over. Change time and space and erase these past three days. Make everything okay for my brother, because seeining him laying infront of me with tubes running to and from his body was killing me inside. He'd been sleep all day, hardly moving in his sleep and I just wanted to see his eyes. I just wanted to see that It's-all-going-to-be-okay smile so I could know that it would be. In my heart I knew that he wouldn't. Still I continued to hold his hand just in case he did wake up, Danny would know I had never left his side. Never.

"Ms. McCall?"

I turned towards the doorway to see Dr. Quartermaine. He had been on call the night my brother was admitted. And when he worked on my brother I could see the determination, expertise, and confidence. He knew what he was doing, and he never bullshitted me when he spoke to me about my brother's condition.

I wiped away my tears before I spoke and turned back towards him, never letting my brother's hand go. "Hey, doctor."

"Have you eaten today?" He asked me, and that's when I noticed he wasn't in uniform anymore. He was in everyday clothes. A black t-shirt, jeans, and boots. He had a leather jacket slung over his arm.

I laughed, dry and hoarse from crying.. "To be honest I can't even remember."

"You have to eat, ."

"I will." When my brother wakes up.

The doctor just looked at me, knowing I was lying. "No you're not going to move from that spot until he wakes up." He sighed and slipped his jacket on. I looked away, finding that stupid cooking show on t.v. beside my brother's bed more interesting.

"I'll be back." He told me as he walked away.

I ended up falling asleep between the nurses coming in and out checking on Danny and watching Casablanca on the AMC channel. And when I woke up the doctor was sitting right beside me with his legs propped up on a second chair.

I striaghtened up in my seat and wiped the crust from my eyes. "How long have you been back?"

He shrugged, bringing a spoonful of soy soaked rice to his mouth. "Five minutes. Your food is in the bag." He said pointing towards the bag on the table, It smelled amazing whatever it was, then again any food would. I hadn't eaten in day's, and I could almost feel my stomach shrinking.

"Thank you, but don't you have more important stuff to be doing other than worrying if I've eaten or not?" I asked as I unwrapped my food. General Tso's Chicken and Pork Fried Rice. Yummy.

"Nope."

One word; four letters. The man hardly said more than he needed to. If one word sufficed, that's all he'd use. I'd never really noticed it before now, when he talked to his co-workers, patients, and their family he always went into detail. Maybe all the talking made him not want to so much on his own time. I tried not to talk, really, but hearing that slow steady beat from that machine hooked up to my brother brung up a question I didn't want to ask. "Why do you think he isn't waking up? It's been days after his surgery...shouldn't he be waking up?"

"Things like this can't be predicted..."

"Wait, what does that mean?" I could feel myself tearing up, and my heart rate rising. "Are you saying my brother may never wake up?" I could feel my chest tightening at the thought that I may never talk to Danny again. He was all I had.

The doctor looked at me then, for the first time since I had woke up. "That's not what I'm saying at all. He can wake up tonight, tomorrow, or next week. I wish I could tell you that he's going to wake up right now. I just...can't." And I knew he was telling the truth, I could see it in his eyes. He may be able to shut down physically, but it was like I could see his soul in his eyes.

"I just don't know what to do..." I sighed, sulking into my chair. "I'm the one who usually makes everything better. I'm the one who fixes it."

"This isn't something you can fix..."

"I know that, doctor."

"Call me, Jason."

I went back to eating, forcing my tears back into that tiny space that I locked everthing else away at. "You can call me Sam."

It came to me the next day, and I wanted to kick myself that I hadn't thought of it sooner. All that time I spent beside Danny wasted...I should have been looking for his shooter. The police hadn't even called me about any news, or updates on Danny's case. That was okay, I would solve it myself but I needed to know whatever they knew so far. I would have to break into the PCPD, because they damn sure wouldn't tell me. I would get that generic 'we'll tell you what you need to know' and I wasn't having it.

The nurse at the station was shocked that I was leaving the hospital, "You're leaving?"

I nodded, wishing that I hadn't even looked up from the sign out form. "Yes."

"I wouldn't have thought you would leave your brother's side." She remarked.

I know that she didn't mean it to, but that felt like a kick to the chest. "The reason why I'm leaving is because of my brother. I have to go and get something done."

"This late?" It was a little past midnight, when I knew that the PCPD building would be cleared out.

"Yes, if anything comes up with my brother call me."

"Okay, hey, there's Dr. Quartermaine." She exclaimed, smiling, she pointed behind me and we both looked. He was far down the hall and coming our way. "Want to talk to him before you leave?"

"No, that's okay." I said, rushing to the elevator. I didn't need him questioning where I was going. One look into those eyes and I don't think I would be able to tell a lie. And for some reason I didn't want to lie to him.