Disclaimer: I make no profit from writing this fic, nor do I own Nakago.
Mother, Who Taught Me Nothing
When I was younger, when I was naïve, I thought that the world was kind, beautiful. After all, the world had bestowed such gifts and privileges upon me. My mother, my power, my beauty. Little did I know that these gifts would turn against me and curse my very existence.
My mother taught me to fear the people with dark hair, to run when any were seen. She taught me to love also. I loved my mother, loved her to no end. And that love is the driving force behind my malicious hatred for her. I hate her for rendering me into a useless, loving person. People who are ruled by their emotions do not survive in the cruel world I live in now. I had no use for my mother after she left.
I had use for Seiryuu though; I had use for Yui. I had use for the power they granted me. Seiryuu, bestowing me with such capability, had no idea. He had no clue that I had planned to use his divine gift to destroy Him and his Brothers. Yui, enforcing my being, feeding me with her dependence and love. I owe her much, Seiryuu no Miko, for she provided me with my most precious days. Days I had thought would end in supremacy. Days when my arrogance betrayed me.
Now, my vision is blurring, my senses are dimming. My brain is losing its control; my wretched heart is taking over. Mother. Her love is driven deep into me, cursing me, even now, as I take a final breath. Mother, I missed you. Mother, run. Run away, as if I was dark-haired. I have become what you most fear; I have become one whose heart has been covered with ice. It has been frozen for so long, I have forgotten how to care, how to love.
Tamahome, Suzaku no Sichiseishi. You have killed me. Bastard, you have stolen my dream, my purpose in life. Do not pity me; do not apply your foolish feelings on me. Let me die with the memory of Seiryuu no Miko, who I loved for the chance she gave me. Let me die with the memory of Mother, who taught me nothing. Let me die with dignity.
~*~*~*~
This was a complete, one-shot fic written within the period of ten minutes. I did not revising, nothing. All I did was gear myself up into he character that I think Nakago is, and let my thoughts flow out. I'm not sure if this makes much sense to you, but to me, it describes Nakago in five, simple paragraphs.
First, Nakago does not love Yui. I always felt that her dependence on him only strengthened him, empowered him. In my eyes, he loved her for the chance she gave him to fulfil his dream.
Second, Nakago's relationship with his mother. In the brief flashbacks in the anime, I always felt that his bond with his mother was very strong. But later on, I felt that he despised her for giving him the blonde hair, the blue eyes, the power to feel emotions. But at the last scene where he dies, I tried to show both sides of him. The side where he really does love his mother, and the side where he tries to hate her for herself.
Third, and last, I would just like to say some of my thoughts on Nakago. I think of him to be the most intriguing character of Fushigi Yuugi along with Tasuki (yes, Tasuki, think about it). He is so complex—it's endless. I couldn't help writing this fic. I had to put my thoughts down somewhere! Hope you enjoyed it, I may look further into him if I ever feel up to it again. Nakago is one hard character to portray.
Mother, Who Taught Me Nothing
When I was younger, when I was naïve, I thought that the world was kind, beautiful. After all, the world had bestowed such gifts and privileges upon me. My mother, my power, my beauty. Little did I know that these gifts would turn against me and curse my very existence.
My mother taught me to fear the people with dark hair, to run when any were seen. She taught me to love also. I loved my mother, loved her to no end. And that love is the driving force behind my malicious hatred for her. I hate her for rendering me into a useless, loving person. People who are ruled by their emotions do not survive in the cruel world I live in now. I had no use for my mother after she left.
I had use for Seiryuu though; I had use for Yui. I had use for the power they granted me. Seiryuu, bestowing me with such capability, had no idea. He had no clue that I had planned to use his divine gift to destroy Him and his Brothers. Yui, enforcing my being, feeding me with her dependence and love. I owe her much, Seiryuu no Miko, for she provided me with my most precious days. Days I had thought would end in supremacy. Days when my arrogance betrayed me.
Now, my vision is blurring, my senses are dimming. My brain is losing its control; my wretched heart is taking over. Mother. Her love is driven deep into me, cursing me, even now, as I take a final breath. Mother, I missed you. Mother, run. Run away, as if I was dark-haired. I have become what you most fear; I have become one whose heart has been covered with ice. It has been frozen for so long, I have forgotten how to care, how to love.
Tamahome, Suzaku no Sichiseishi. You have killed me. Bastard, you have stolen my dream, my purpose in life. Do not pity me; do not apply your foolish feelings on me. Let me die with the memory of Seiryuu no Miko, who I loved for the chance she gave me. Let me die with the memory of Mother, who taught me nothing. Let me die with dignity.
~*~*~*~
This was a complete, one-shot fic written within the period of ten minutes. I did not revising, nothing. All I did was gear myself up into he character that I think Nakago is, and let my thoughts flow out. I'm not sure if this makes much sense to you, but to me, it describes Nakago in five, simple paragraphs.
First, Nakago does not love Yui. I always felt that her dependence on him only strengthened him, empowered him. In my eyes, he loved her for the chance she gave him to fulfil his dream.
Second, Nakago's relationship with his mother. In the brief flashbacks in the anime, I always felt that his bond with his mother was very strong. But later on, I felt that he despised her for giving him the blonde hair, the blue eyes, the power to feel emotions. But at the last scene where he dies, I tried to show both sides of him. The side where he really does love his mother, and the side where he tries to hate her for herself.
Third, and last, I would just like to say some of my thoughts on Nakago. I think of him to be the most intriguing character of Fushigi Yuugi along with Tasuki (yes, Tasuki, think about it). He is so complex—it's endless. I couldn't help writing this fic. I had to put my thoughts down somewhere! Hope you enjoyed it, I may look further into him if I ever feel up to it again. Nakago is one hard character to portray.