Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.
A/N: On one hand, I'm glad that NCIS isn't putting us through a Ray/Ziva engagement. On the other hand, I feel as though having Ray be the killer was a bit of a cop-out. Then again, with so many lovely Tiva moments in 9x13, how can I not love it? What are your thoughts on the episode?
"Alone, bad. Friend, good." – Bride of Frankenstein
"Perhaps I had a wicked childhood/ Perhaps I had a miserable youth/ But somewhere in my wicked, miserable past/ There must have been a moment of truth […]" – "Something Good," The Sound of Music
"So," Tony says with false joviality once they've said goodbye to Detective Burris, "Want to grab a drink?"
Ziva shakes her head, dark eyes unfathomable even to one who knows her well. "Not tonight, Tony. Tonight, I just need… I need to be alone."
"You sure?" Tony asks, serious once more. "'cause you don't have to be. We could down a couple of beers, go to the shooting range, watch a movie… not in that order, of course. Anything."
"Thank you, but no," Ziva replies. "Perhaps tomorrow."
"Right," Tony says awkwardly.
What do you say to a friend who's just found out that the man she loves (loved?) killed an innocent woman?
"Hey, come here," he tells her.
"I am fine," Ziva says, voice sharp enough to cut glass.
"If you say so," Tony says, shrugging. "Me, I could use a hug, though. C'mon, for me?"
He opens his arms wide, smiling a half-joking, half-pleading smile.
Ziva purses her lips, sighs, and steps forward into his arms.
"Very well," she mutters, her voice muffled by his coat.
And if she hugs him a bit tighter than necessary (than normal), he doesn't mention it. And if he hugs her back a bit harder, she doesn't mention it either.
Cherish each other, that's all I'm saying, the detective had said. Every day. Don't take anything for granted.
"Good night, Tony," Ziva says, backing out of their embrace.
She readjusts her coat, tightening the belt as if shielding herself from the world along with the cold of the evening air.
Tony acutely feels the loss of her warmth, and smooths the lapels of his own coat in an attempt to occupy hands that long to reach out to her.
"Good night, Ziva," he says quietly, watching her walk to her car.
-–- -–- -–- -–- -–-
The next day, Ziva acts perfectly normal at work, if a bit more on edge.
She works like a woman possessed and snaps at McGee's well-meaning attempts at discussing Ray.
"I do not want to talk about it, McGee," she says at last, voice carefully matter-of-fact. "What is done is done, yes?"
"Ziva, there's no way you could have known," McGee says.
She ignores him, and sorts through her paperwork with increased forcefulness, occasionally punctuating her mood with the slam of a file drawer.
When Gibbs sends her out on a coffee run, everyone breathes a sigh of relief.
-–- -–- -–- -–- -–-
"So, you up for drinks tonight?" Tony asks her in the elevator as they descend to the parking garage.
"Shooting range first," is all she says.
"Got it," Tony replies.
-–- -–- -–- -–- -–-
A slightly terrifying hour later, they head back to Tony's place.
"Welcome, milady, to Casa del DiNozzo," Tony says, taking her coat. "Beer's in the fridge, if you want any. Pizza sound good for dinner?"
"Pizza is fine," Ziva says, collapsing onto the couch.
After placing their order, Tony seats himself on the couch as well.
"You won't get this offer very often," he informs her, "but tonight I am willing to let you pick the movie. Any movie."
Ziva's eyes light up and he winces, knowing what's coming.
"I choose The Sound of Music," she says, smiling faintly at his look of disgust.
"The Sound of Music it is."
-–- -–- -–- -–- -–-
The Von Trapp children have just finished singing "So Long, Farewell," when Tony glances over at his partner and notices that her eyes are suspiciously shiny.
The half-empty pizza box sits abandoned on the table next to the TV remote.
Ziva leans over, picks up the remote, and turns the volume on the TV down low.
Tony sits by her silently and waits.
"It is not that he killed an innocent woman," she says at last. "That, I could forgive, perhaps. I too have killed relative innocents. But he… he did not care about what he had done, did not understand…"
She trails off and shakes her head.
"He offered excuses and said that 'mistakes happen,' but he did not express any regrets. He did not seem to comprehend that by killing Commander Burris, he ruined more than one life."
She gazes off into the distance, eyes sad.
Tony remains silent, eyes encouraging her to continue.
"He went against orders to kill Norton, lied to me about it, and expected that I 'of all people' would understand! And then he wanted to, to brush the entire incident under the floor, to go back to the way things were between us. It was impossible," she concludes bitterly, blinking rapidly. "And I cannot help but wonder if we ever knew each other at all."
He covers her smaller hand with one of his own, and says, "You're allowed to mourn it, you know. Just because the two of you came to a bad end doesn't mean that the rest of your relationship wasn't real."
"I do not want to mourn it!" Ziva snaps, pulling her hand away. "It is not worth it."
"Ray's a jerk," Tony agrees, "a real dickwad. But you cared about him. And, uh, feelings can't just be turned on and off at will."
Ziva tilts her head slightly in acknowledgment and turns the volume on the TV back up.
She scoots in a bit closer to him and leans her head on his shoulder.
"Thank you," she murmurs quietly.
"Anytime," Tony replies.