Disclaimer: I own nothing…do I really have to say that?

Notes: Picture Mines of Moria before the Orcs attack.

Dedication: to all the fangirls who have devoted them selves to the sexiness of Legolas Greenleaf.

There aren't worst things then Fangirls in the deep places of the earth.

Fireweilder

" "Here lies Balin son of Fundin, Lord of Moria.' He is dead then, I feared it was so." Said Gandalf, straightening up from over Balin's tomb.

Next to his grave, there lay a random book. It was decorated with pink flowers and all the entries were written in glittery pink pen. The cover was decorated with pictures of Legolas, Aragorn and Frodo. However, the fellowship, being stupid but sexy, didn't connect them with the people in the fellowship.

"Here marks the account of Balin's death, so it would seem. But these pages have been disgraced from the dwarfish hand into pink glittery pen so it is very hard to read.

Only the last page can be read for it is the only page that is written in normal ink. It reads ' they have taken the gates and the hall. They swarm in great numbers now, forcing us to retreat. We have killed many in great numbers, but still they come with ax notches in their chests and heads. They have tortured some of my kin. They bleach the hair to a near white blond and clean us, but in the end they are not satisfied and so the dispose of the bodies. We roll them threw mud so they are suitable for burial. They are coming. A fouls smell of an elvish perfume rises from their stronghold. All of them clasp pictures of an elvish male whom we do no know. They are angered to find that he is not here and kill us in that anger. We can not get out. They cry a single name. Cries, cries in the deep… we cannot get out. We cannot get out. They are coming…"

Suddenly, for no apparent reason. Aragorn threw Frodo down a well. When he turned back to the aghast fellowship, he said, " What!? We can live with out him. Leave the pretty ones for bait, I say," as he glared at Legolas.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! MY CONTACT LENSES FELL OUT! CCCRRRRAAAAAAAAAP! "

*Thud*

The fellowship turned away as Frodo's voice echoed from bellow.

" Hello?…Is anybody there?…I'm alive but very badly burned…Hello?…Oh hi little girl. Where did you come from? Could you help me back...HEY! STOP PULLING ON MY LEG! AHHHH! WHERE DID YOU ALL COME FROM? AAAAHHHHH! NNNNOOOOOOO!"

Frodo…Frodo…Frodo chanted a unison voice of thousands of girls, raising from the deeps. Frodo's cries had been silenced

"They are coming! We cannot get out!" shouted Legolas.