Author's Note: I do not own Hakuouki. These little related semi-drabbles (because I think all of them are over 100 words) were inspired by fanart and CGs on Tumblr. Enjoy!
The first time Chizuru met the Demon Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi, He was pointing the end of his sword at her neck and threatening to kill her if she attempted to escape. Her heart was already racing from the events that took place, and she should have been more frightened than she already was with the possibility that her life could be ending in a precious few moments. Instead, her eyes were drawn to his hair. In the pale light of the full moon, a breeze pulled his jet black hair to the right, revealing it's flowing length. She felt her breath catch in her throat at the sight.
He's beautiful…
The next time Chizuru was in the presence of the Demon Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi, it was in the glaring sunlight of a February morning. The rare sunlight reflected off the snow that had fallen the night before, making Chizuru wince from its brightness as she walked outside. Even though they met indoors, Chizuru was able to make out every detail of the men sitting in the room with her because the sunlight penetrated the window's meagre paper defenses. Despite being surrounded by strange men, only one garnered her attention. It was the one that had threatened her with his sword the night before. She could sense his aloofness and the walls he had carefully constructed around himself. He was intimidating with a stern countenance that did not broker argument or foolishness. She could make out plum colored eyes and fair skin. A lithe form was concealed underneath loose kimono and hakama.
Her eyes returned to his hair - the first thing she had noticed about his appearance last night. His bangs framed his face, and the rest of his dark tresses were pulled back into a ponytail. The sunlight made his hair look glossy with a subtle blue sheen to it. She wished she could see how long it really was, and that thought then made her miss her lengthy hair. Her own hair had hung down to her hips before she cut it in an attempt to make her male disguise more genuine.
Despite her precarious situation, Chizuru admitted to herself that she was smitten with the Vice-Commander who had just been given a name: Hijikata Toshizou.
When Chizuru had finally been allowed to touch Hijikata-san's hair, it was the morning after Oni had broken into the compound. The captains had fought bravely against Kazama, Amagiri, and Shiranui, and while they had successfully defended her against the Oni, Hijikata had sustained some injuries during his battle with Kazama. He wasn't seriously hurt, but she could tell he was having difficulty moving around. Chizuru knew that Hijikata ignored his own discomfort in order to fulfill his duties and to be sure his subordinates were taken care of. When she offered her assistance, he usually brushed her off, saying he could do it himself. She had no idea what had possessed her to ask, but she offered to brush his hair and arrange it into its customary ponytail. She was surprised when he accepted.
She took up a comb and a ribbon, setting the ribbon over her left forearm to make it easily accessible. Hijikata sat before his desk, washi paper set on its surface. He was planning to tackle his paperwork while she completed her task. She could see his hair was to his hips, which made her feel a wistful yearning for long hair of her own. Chizuru took a section of his hair into her hands, noting right away that it felt as silky as it looked. As she began to run the comb through the strands, she learned that even though his hair was fine, there was a lot of it. When she came across small tangles, she would change her grip in order to minimize pulling on his scalp.
The room was silent, and Chizuru felt the intimacy of these precious moments. It was as if Hijikata was dropping his defenses by allowing her to touch him in such a familiar way. She could see him relaxing beneath her touch; at one point, his ink-laden brush hung precariously over his washi - a threat to the cleanliness of his well-formed letter - and she was sure she could tell his eyes were closed in order to savor the pleasant sensations of her gentle ministrations. Though he wouldn't say it, she knew he was enjoying this as much as she was. The knowledge of bringing him pleasure made Chizuru's heart swell with pride and admiration for the man sitting before her. She hoped he noticed her regard through this simple gesture. She wanted to drag out the process of combing his hair as much as possible because it would mean she could spend more time with him - appreciating him - but she knew Hijikata thrived on efficiency. Reluctantly, she finished combing his hair and took the ribbon into her right hand. She gathered all of his hair into the other hand at the center of the back of his head and deftly tied the ribbon around his hair before any strands had the chance to slither out from her grasp. She set the comb down and took a step back, though she didn't want to resume that distance between them.
"Thank you," his velvety baritone voice rumbled.
Hijikata continued writing, and Chizuru smiled.
After the battle of Toba-Fushimi, Hijikata was locked in a vicious battle with Kazama. It wasn't going well for the Demon Vice-Commander. He was already exhausted from his failed campaign with Bakufu forces, and he had sustained a few serious injuries. Chizuru watched. Even though he had never directly expressed such, she knew deep down that he was fighting to protect her. Which is why she was devastated as she witnessed him take the Ochimizu. In horror, she observed his beautiful black hair turn white.
No…do not do this for me!
It wasn't the loss of his black hair that upset her, but the realization that Hijikata was now one of those monsters that attacked her when she first came to Kyoto, and she couldn't reconcile the fact that the man she was growing to love would now suffer more than he had.
The Shinsengumi were preparing for their journey to Kofu Castle. Since Toba-Fushimi, Chizuru knew that Hijikata had struggled with the reality that the age of swords and spears was coming to an end. Unbeknownst to Chizuru, Hijikata had begun making preparations to adapt the Shinsengumi to Western style combat. One morning, she came across all of the captains dressed in Western style clothing. It was jarring to see them all wearing a mix of tighter fitting clothing with obi used to secure their swords to their sides, but nothing could have prepared her for the changes in Hijikata. She came upon him sitting in a Western chair with his shapely legs clad in brown boots and black trousers crossed at the knee. As her eyes roved northwards taking stock of his entire outfit, her shock became apparent when she realized that Hijikata's hair was short.
"What is it? Do you not approve?" he asked.
Chizuru was at a loss. She didn't know what to say. She was surprised that he was asking her opinion on his appearance, which made her blush. Hijikata rarely sought approval from anyone, and his questions told her that he had deeper feelings for her than he usually let on, which delighted her to no end. She thought he was extremely handsome in his Western garb, but-
"You cut your hair," she said with disappointment lacing her tone. "It looks really good."
Her last statement was true - he still was able to make her heart beat so fast and hard that it felt as if it would bust through her ribs - but she already missed his beautiful hair that she loved to comb. It was one avenue of intimacy that was cut off from her, and she was keenly feeling the loss.
"If they are going to attack us, it will be tomorrow," Hijikata stated while looking out the window from his candlelit quarters. The campaign to establish Ezo had not been going well, and Chizuru could see the toll the losses were taking on the man she adored. She could see weariness permeating every muscle and the circles under his eyes were incredibly dark. She wished he would trust her enough to allow her to shoulder some of his troubles.
"I want-"
Chizuru felt anger flare up in her. "No!" she said forcefully, which drew Hijikata's full attention. His eyes conveyed some of his surprise. "Don't say it. I'm going to stay with you! I don't care how dangerous it might be! You have endured so much…I am staying and I…I wish you would share your burden with me."
There was a stony silence that settled between them. Chizuru was unsure what was going to happen next, for she had never spoken like this to Hijikata. She felt apprehension creeping into her as he approached her, and she instinctively tensed in order to defend herself. She didn't know why she was afraid because she knew he wasn't going to hurt her. She then realized it was because she was terrified that she would be rejected - that she had misread everything he had ever done or said to her that made her believe that he cared for her deeply.
"I'm sorry to make you repeat yourself," Hijikata murmured. "I've come to realize that all along, I have been so willing to throw my life away as a warrior should. In truth, I have found a reason to continue to fight to live." A pause. "I need you by my side, Chizuru. I…I have grown to love you," he whispered as he pulled her against him, wrapping his arms around her to keep her close.
Chizuru felt tears of happiness well in her eyes. "I'm so glad!"
Chizuru's arms wound around his torso, and she buried her face into his coat, inhaling a mixture of sandalwood and cinnamon bark. The mingled scents were sweet, spicy, and woodsy, which she believed matched Hijikata perfectly. She could feel the heat from his body through the clothing, and she sighed in bliss. Chizuru then tilted her head up to look into Hijikata's eyes and saw fondness within them. She slowly lifted her hands and placed them on either side of his face. She tangled her slender fingers in the locks of his soft, dark hair - feeling happy that it still felt the way it did when she combed it so long ago. She began to pull his face downward, and he complied, their lips finally making contact. Her heart soared with joy to know that Hijikata loved her.