Author's Note: Happy Birthday, Jackie. 17 years ago, my all-time favorite episode of Samurai Jack, "Jack and the Gangsters," first premiered. Jackie the Blade captured my heart (and ovaries) as soon as he first appeared in that lovely suit. Thank you orenashii and Turquoise Fox for inadvertently inspiring this story.
The clock chimed the hour of midnight on a Sunday evening as Jackie carried his wife bridal style through the front door, adrenaline and booze boosting his flagging energy after a night of wining, dining, and dancing at the Blue Monkey club to celebrate their wedding anniversary. He placed Ashi down on the couch, where their anniversary gifts waited for them on the coffee table. He adjusted his jacket as he sat next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, and giving her a wide smile as he lost himself in her eyes. "Happy anniversary, Ashi." He lost count of how many times he said it the whole evening, but it was worth repeating every chance he could take.
"Happy anniversary, Jackie," she returned, placing a chaste kiss on his lips, pulling back before things got heated.
"Don't tease me, love, I need more," he practically growled as he leaned in to steal a second kiss, but his lips met gift wrap instead.
"Gift exchange first," she suggested, offering him a wrapped box.
"Something useful for the bedroom?" He asked with a wink as he tore open the paper. His lust turned to surprise as he ran his fingers over the engraved kanji on the wooden box, suddenly feeling homesick. "Sword care kit," he translated out loud.
"Straight from Japan, to keep your namesake blade as sharp and shiny as the day it was forged."
"You are so good to me," he smiled widely before handing her his gift.
"Heavy," she noted, resting it on her lap as she opened it; her husband watching with great interest. The lid of the box fell to the floor with a clatter as she covered her mouth with both hands, stifling her gasp as her eyes widened with shock. "It cannot be."
Jackie sat there silently, a smug grin on his face.
She reached inside the cushioned box, fingers ever so gently brushing the facets on the large blueish gemstone. "The Jewel of Neptune."
"Only for you, my lady."
"The legendary jewel that is mythologized as created by Gaia and having the power to control all the water in the world."
"The very same."
"Kept inside Chicago's Public Works and Utilities building."
Jackie's grin shifted to a slight frown. Where was she going with all this? "Yes."
"Then what the hell is it doing in my house?"
He flinched from the loud volume and the harsh accusation, and slid off the couch, kneeling before her. "Ashi, in a way, you are this jewel. A beautiful gem crafted from divine glory that I am not worthy to hold, and yet…" he held up his hand and showed off his wedding ring. "You honor me with the greatest gift."
She shook her head. His gift with words wasn't going to get him out of this that easily. "The police won't ignore this threat. They'll come after you."
"It was a perfect crime," he bragged. "The police have no leads, I left no clues. The security team is incompetent, arguing about the best Earth, Wind, and Fire song while I went to work."
"You have all the money you could ever want. You could have bought me something."
"Nothing is worthy of you if people are willing to part with it so easily."
Ashi glared at him, arms folding, daring him to tell her the truth, to which he conceded.
"And maybe I was eager to the challenge of stealing from a high-security vault," he sheepishly admitted as he scratched the back of his neck.
"Jackie, you don't need to impress me like this."
"Yes, I do," he insisted. Their eyes met and once again she was a victim to the intensity of his gaze, barely feeling the delicate touch of his hand against her cheek. "You deserve to know how much you mean to me, even if I have to dedicate every second of my life to prove it to you."
"I just don't want to see you arrested," she pleaded, tears welling up in her eyes. "Your favors with the court and the police can't last forever, and this is such a high profile item. I appreciate the gesture, I really do, but this isn't worth jail time."
"That won't happen," he vowed, wiping away her tears, "because I'll return it to its proper place."
"Now, before word spreads that it's gone."
He sighed and momentarily hung his head low before meeting her eyes again with a wistful smile. "As much as I had hoped that I could spend the night in wedded bliss, I shall do as you ask."
She smiled and briefly kissed him. "The wedded bliss will be even sweeter knowing you've done the right thing, and me thanking you for it."
"I'll hold you to that," he promised with a wink.
"Good morning, Chicago! It's a chilly 48 degrees outside…" the radio blared as Ashi made breakfast for herself. She lowered the volume, not wishing to wake Jack so early. She had no idea when he came home last night, finding him sprawled out on their bed, drooling on his pillow when she woke up. She kissed his forehead and tucked in his blanket, carefully creeping out of the room so as not to disturb him.
"Crisis averted this morning as the Neptune Jewel, thought to be stolen, was found in a separate room within the building, stuffed inside a desk. The chief of security, one Don Lamarche, had this to say: 'we received word that someone was going to steal the Jewel, so I hid it in my office and set a trap for the would-be thief. He never came, but rest assured, I knew exactly where the Neptune Jewel was at all times, see? Nnyeah.'"
"Liar," Jackie grumbled as he stumbled into the kitchen, his hair hastily tied up, leaving bangs across his face. "They were in an absolute panic when I slipped in and stashed it in that desk." He slunk into his chair, his face haggard, only perking up when his wife kissed his cheek and offered him tea.
"A perfect crime," she said with pride. "I knew you could do it. Just don't make a habit of it."
"Yes dear," he meekly agreed.
"Eat up," she instructed as she placed a plate of bacon, toast, and eggs in front of him. "You'll need your strength for later."
"Later? What exactly are we doing?"
"Remember my promise last night?" She shot him a cheeky grin before leaning down and whispering her intentions in his ear.
Jackie set a personal record for finishing a meal and chugged his breakfast tea. "Let's do this," he said, grabbing Ashi's hand and pulling her toward the bedroom, while she laughed at his sudden burst of energy.
Author's Note: Count up all the times I referenced the episode.