Bella's POV
Edward and I very rarley argued over stuff the only time we sort of argued was when I was human, my constant need to be a Vampire drove him insane but we have never had a huge one. However over the few days we have had a few little ones and it was over faking mine, Edwards and Renesmee's deaths, the time had come that people were starting to notice I wasn't aging. We have been married 5 years now so I am technically 24 but still look 19 and even Charlie was starting to notice. The main reason we had to fake our deaths was because of Renesmee and how quicky she had grown.
I didn't want to fake my death yet, I couldn't do that to Renee and Charlie, I didn't want to see their lives shatter when they find out their only child is dead, along with her husband and child. I know Edward understands it will be upsetting but I don't think he gets how much it's going to crush me to never ever see them again face to face.
He walked from a hunt and looked at me with a weak smile "Hi love" I smiled half-heartedly "hey.." He sighed deeply.
"Are you really going to keep this mood up Bella, you knew this time would come eventually!"
He sounded so harsh and angry, the tone slightly scared me..
"Yes I know it had to come!, but what did you expect Edward, for me to go okay lets do it now and go and never come back without feeling angry, upset and hurt!"
I looked at him now feeling hurt by and angry at him
"you say you care about my feelings Edward but the past few days you haven't shown that!!, I am hurting so much inside at the fact I...have to watch my dads life come crashing down on him as He hears that I..am dead!!, WHAT IF THAT WAS YOU!, WHAT IF YOU GOT THE NEWS THAT OUR DAUGHTER WAS DEAD...AND YOU WOULD NEVER SEE HER AGAIN, BUT NOW IMAGINE THAT SHE WAS IN MY POSITION AND HAD TO WATCH YOU WORLD CRUMBLE!, YOU...don't understand how I am feeling...its like they are the ones who are going to be dead, and your parents died Edward, you never had to lie to them about who you are and why your never around" I had never felt so angry at him
"Bella I understand you are hurting I really do, the only thing I want for you is to be safe and happy, and the way to do that is fake your death, AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT BELLA I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE FEELING, DID YOU FORGET THAT I LEFT YOU, THAT I SPENT EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE FOR SIX MONTHS BATTLING MY EMOTIONS BECAUSE I COULD NOT SEE YOU!, Bella I am doing all of this FOR YOU!, AND DON'T BRING MY PARENTS INTO THIS, I STILL WENT THROUGH THE PAIN OF NOT SEEING THEM, I WATCHED THEM DIE BELLA!!" his eyes darkend with anger..sorrow but mostly regret
"THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T WANT YOU HAVING THIS LIFE, I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN BUT YOU WERE JUST TO GOD DAMN STUBBORN TO HAVE A NORMAL LIFE WITH ME!"
why does he always have to play that stupid card
"WHAT SO WHEN I CAME TO MY DEATH BED I KNEW YOU WOULD TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE...I could never let you do that Edward..I WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO EVER TAKE YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF ME, I WANTED THIS LIFE SO YOU HAD ME FOREVER, I WANTED TO BE LIKE THIS FOR YOU SO YOU NEVER HAD TO TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE BECAUSE I WASN'T HERE"
"CUT THE CRAP BELLA, I KNOW YOU DIDN'T WANT THIS LIFE FOR ME, IT WAS ABOUT YOU!, I...cant deny that I didn't want it for you, Iam selfish and did and still do want you forever, BUT IT'S ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT, WH..which is fine because your happy, BUT HAVING THIS LIFE MEANS YOU HAVE TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!"
"I KNOW THAT EDWARD, BUT A LITTLE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT WOULD BE NICE, I KNOW IM NOT HUMAN ANYMORE BUT...i still feel vulnerable at times.. ESPECIALLY WHEN WE ABOUT TO TELL CHARLIE WE ARE DEAD!"
His anger faded from his eyes fast and was replaced with sadness "Bella I have been trying to give you support but you keep pushing me away, you keep snapping at me, you haven't even hugged me since the topic came up, how can I give you support when you have been so distant"
I instantly felt bad, I had pushed him away because I felt unwanted for being so selfish about this whloe thing..
"you don't deserve me..I am so selfish and I am so sorry for making you angry, I am just so scared Edward" I got up and left quickly before he could follow
"Bella..love ...wait" that's all I heard before he was out of my hearing range.
Edward's POV
"Bella..love ...wait" I felt like crap for what I just said to her, but I was wounded by her words about herself "I don't deserve her because she thinks she is selfish" she should not feel that way, she is hurting and doesn't know how to deal with it, segregating yourself from someone who you love is one of the hardest things to do, I just wish I could take all her hurt and sadness away.
I went looking for her, It wasn't hard as even though she is a vampire her sent was still really strong, I followed it to find her sat on the sat on edge of the cliff with her head in her knees sobbing.
" Im sorry Edward.." she looked at me with regret filled eyes "I didn't mean what I said, I am so so sorry" she looked away
"If you don't want me anymore I understand" I sighed and pulled her into my arms
"Bella I will always want you, Love couples argue, you are hurting and are confused, I don't blame you for being angry, but an argument will never ever change my love for you sweetheart, I am always here for you" I kissed her head gently
"love when you feel hurt, lost inside of upset, please talk to me, I am your husband, and I will always want to help you" her black thirsty eyes met mine
"I am just so scared of breaking my dads world, he spent so long getting me back into his life and I am his only child, I look at Renesmee and think about how I would feel if I got the news she was dead...I wouldn't cope, Id break completely and I know that is how Charlie is going to react... Edward can we move away and wait a few years please... I really can't do this to him yet...or my mum" I sighed
"Bella we will talk about this later okay, for now you really need to hunt and calm down, I promsie we will find away round this with causing the least amount of emotional pain for us and your family" she nodded and slowly stood up.
"I know you have already hunted...but can you come with me" I chuckled slighlty "Of course my love, we haven't hunted togehter for a while"
"Edward I am so..so sorry for all the things I said...please forgive me"
"Bella you have nothing to be sorry for, It was one tiny argument after five years of nothing, it is fine my love, please stop worrying, I love you so much" I kissed her deeply and took her hunting.