Short Story
Sheba's Headaches, Her New Job as an Agony Aunt
By Marahute Sol
- Disclaimer: I do not own Golden Sun. And I do not have any of the very expensive rights to it.
- Author's note: Warning, may contain nuts at the end.
After the Golden Sun, Sheba tried to get a job as an Agony Aunt. She quit, after recieving this letter, on her first day.
- - - - -
The Question:
Dear Sheba,
I am a little girl of fourteen and I live in a small town near a large Amish village.
I also own a yellow highlighter and have a great fondness for running around and around and around a glass filled two-thirds with vinegar.
I am writing to you because I think I might have a problem, one you can help me with.
Your advice usually includes that people should talk about their problems with someone they trust. But I am afraid that is no option for me, I cannot talk about this problem with anyone. Not with my parent, my friends or my three cats. Who accidentally can be very annoying, like they are right now. They keep steeling my pen thinking it is some kind of food. Or perhaps they think it is a toy? I am not really sure since I cannot read their minds, a trait you do have. Perhaps you can clear up the doubt about this matter; do cat's actually like to be worshipped or revered? No it can be both. Neither is an option too of course. It could be that they just wish to annoy me, like every body else on this world.
I cannot remember having that mole though, I think it is a new one…
My problem is of a somewhat delicate matter. And I am afraid, that if it becomes know to anyone, people will not like me anymore.
As they never seem to like my clothing I mean.
I mean, there is nothing wrong with wearing a blue dress, a grey undershirt and a blue boots is there? It should not matter if I have flaming red hair and dark brown eyes right? It should not
funny looking pencil this is, are that teeth marks?
Like that school party the other week. It was pretty nice and all, I talked to my friends, we drank some wine, gossiped about boys, had fun and all. Normal girl stuff right?
Then suddenly, I overheard someone say: "You ate the nicer donut that I wanted…" and I though "But there are still dozens of donuts left and there all the same to begin with."
When I told my friends that people can get wonderfully confusing at times, most often when they want things they cannot have, but really want to have though they know they cannot have it, and perhaps want to have it because they cannot have it, for some ominously weird reason, and find out that they have waited too long, or that someone beat them to having it, they get ticked off… My friends answered: "Well, that is the opinion of four glasses of wine. However, if I may express a preference, something that is not complete gibberish would be more welcome next time, please." And "Yeah, we are entirely capable of confusin' ourselves, thank you."
At such a time I think I need new contact lenses; I am having trouble reading from a distance again…
After the party, the greater part of the school went to nearby pubs and sorts. But me and my friends went to my home to close this party with a few last drinks. I think the rest, the ones who went home as well, had the idea of "Blindly follow the majority. What am I? Cattle?" I mean, we are old and wise enough to decide for ourselves what to do and when to do it not? So the opinion of other people should not matter. I know.
My left sock really itches, I hope it are not those cats making that noise. They can act pretty confusing at times.
It is just that I think that I think I like to think I am thinking that sometimes, people are very confusing, that they do not make a lick of sense, or are speaking rubbish that doesn't make a lick of sense and keep repeating themselves because they do not make a lick of sense. It is like they keep on talking and talking and talking without saying anything. And their ability to keep on talking without actually saying anything, I mean, you must admit, it is a kind of gift is it not? It is not something everyone is born with. It could be possible that they practise to do things like that. They can try and find other people to have pointless conversations with and talk for hours and at the end, neither can summarise what they have said because they have not said anything. And nothing is hard to summarise. The main reason why I have sing a lot really, because those conversations people have on the streets of the market, I mean, common, at least try to stick to one topic, it is really annoying when people go switching from one thing to-day really is boring. I have not eaten lunch yet; I think I should do that soon. But anyway, other people actually can hold a decent conversation. That is what I try to do, find people who can hold a normal conversation. I think I really should try to hang out with those kinds of people and not let utter hopeless failure to find someone who wishes to talk to me get me down.
Thanks a lot, you have been a great help!
Love,
Me
The Answer:
Dear me,
…
That was random…
Sheba