A normal day as an animorph. Something hardly ever experienced. But hey, here it is! The scene is a party- one of Marco's friends invited them (you say, what friends?) All of the animorphs (along with a couple no-I-don't-morphs) are sitting, watching Titanic. Ever wonder what they're thinking? Here it is...
Tobias: You really are a loser!! There's Rachel, sitting right there next to you and you don't even have the guts to put an arm around her! Maybe I can just pretend like I'm adjusting the sofa cushions and move a little closer...
Rachel: What's wrong with Tobias? Is he sitting on tacks or something! He's adjusted the stupid couch cushions four times now! Maybe I should just loan him my own cushion and sit on the springs. And he's not even making a move on me during Titanic? He really is out of touch!
Cassie: Sigh. Oh, that's so romantic! If only my life with Jake could be so... Whoa! What? Is that seagull injured? I think he is! He's missing some feathers. And don't Kate and Leonardo know that spitting in the ocean is a no-no! What if some porpoise eats that spit and consequently gets a fatal disease and passes it on to another porpoise, and then...
Jake: Sigh. If only I could paint, I'd paint Cassie's portrait like that. She's probably just thinking about that seagull, though. It looks kinda sick.
Marco: Oh...almost...If she'd just lean forward a little more I could see inside her dress! Wait! Is anyone watching me? Act cool, man, you're Marco! The Marco! You could morph into a gorilla and...Hey hey, that's a pretty short skirt...
Ax: These humans! If only I had been there at the time, I could have told them that the dynamics of building and extrememly large ocean vessel with less than adequate escape pods and hardily laughable bouyancy, this tragedy might have been stopped. Not to mention...
Tobias: Okay man, okay, bird-boy! Get your nerve up, you know you can do it! No more wimp for you! Do something subtle..The yawn and stretch! That's it, the yawn and stretch! She'll never guess it was planned! Ow! These couch cushions are kind of uncomfortable...
Rachel: Finially! Even if it was the old yawn-and-stretch. I bet he took all this time just to plan it. And by God, he still looks like he's sitting on tacks!
Cassie: Jake and I could get married someday! A house, a nice little cottage! With a barn, of course, and lots of sick animals to take care of! And oodles of children, of course! Oh! Oh! He's looking at you! Just smile, that's right, smile...
Jake: Oh, no. That's smile. She's probably thinking of us getting married. And getting a house, or a nice little cottage. Oodles of kids, sick animals, my God woman! I'm only a teenager! I need space! I need space!
Marco: That's it! Just brush against her like it was an accident, you didn't plan it. Smooth, man! Keep it smooth. You tha man, Marco, you the man!
Ax: I do not quite understand the social structure here. Apparently "Jack" is lacking in status to addequately accompony "Rose." Yet she still seems attracted! Oh, humans are too confusing. Just see if you can get the popcorn! Mmmmmm, grease...
Tobias: Yes! Score one for bird boy! Oh, what now...she's snuggling in closer...oh my god, what can I do? Oh no, not here! Not now! Air! I need air! Tell her you have to go..to the bathroom! That's it!!
Rachel: Oh, so now he has to pee. Just my luck, just my luck. What a nervous wreck! Oh well, I guess I can forgive him, we are watching a movie about lots of running water...
Cassie: Oh, oh! He's caught your eye! Give him one of those "meaningful glances" we share so lovingly...
Jake: Oh! Cassie's giving me one of those "meaningful glances" we share so lovingly together. Now if only I could hold her hand and say, "Cassie, I wanted to tell you..." and she would say "I wanted to tell you too.." and I would say, "I just wanted you to know," and she said, "I just wanted you to know too," and then I could say, overflowing with meaningful glances, "Yes, Cassie, me too!" and she would say, and she would say, "Jake! me too!" and I would say...
Marco: Ouch! I hate getting slapped! And just because I brushed...Woah! Hey, old Rosie there hasn't got a bad bod!..
Ax: Mmmmm popcorn! Grease! Salt! More! The buttery meltingness....Is meltingness a word? I must look that in up in a human dictionary. Or would it be more grammer or spelling than actual meaning?
Tobias: You loser! You did it again, and now you're locked in the bathroom. Okay, man, it's okay. First of all, calm down. Think of Rachel in a...nightgown! No, no. A sweatsuit. A parka! Damn! Think unsexy thoughts. Think unsexy thoughts. Then pound on the door and yell for help.
Rachel: Oh God, God give me strength! Now he's locked himself in a bathroom! All right, that's it, I'm taking over. Hey! What's under this cushion? Hah! You never know! He was sitting on a box of tacks!
Cassie: Jakes brown eyes are like pools of longing I could drown in. And save any animals that fell in too...
Jake: Somehow it disturbs me to think that Cassie might be thinking of saving animals that fall into my eyes.
Marco: This party is a total loser! What a bummer! Not one girl. Don't let it get you down, marco man! You know who's the best! You know who's the best! You are! You are! Hey! That dog is a girl. Here girl! Here girl!
Ax: Mmmm popcorn box! Delicious yet cardboardy!
Rachel: Okay, tell him he's gonna be ok in there. And...there! You got the door open! Now...
Tobias: Holy crap! She's kissing me! She's kissing me! Yes! Yes! I mean..no! I need Air! Think unsexy thoughts! Think unsexy thoughts! Elizabeth Taylor in underwear eating buckets of chicken! Jerry Springer getting it on with midget twins from mars! Waxing Jean-Luc Picard's bald ageing head!
Cassie: Oh no! The movies almost over! I didn't even have time to tell Jake...
Jake: I know, Cassie, I know! Oh, Cassie!
Marco: Ow! Dog bite! That's worse than getting slapped. This party reeks!
Ax: Must find food must find...Mmmmm..cushions! Cottony!
Rachel: Oh, Dammit now he fainted! Worse he fainted saying, "William Shatner naked on a velour bed"
Tobias: Wow...the world isn't supposed to be spinning this fast!
Cassie: Oh, darn it it's over!
Jake: I bet Cassie's thinking, "Oh darn it, it's over."
Marco: Phew. Glad the stupid thing's over. Glad Leo died.
Ax: I don't think those cushions digest well. Oh, look. The human "movie" has ceased.
As a little epilogue here, folks: Tobias finially came to and demorphed and Rachel had to settle for a hawk nibbling on her ear. Jake and Cassie, their hearts overflowing immediately went outside and, while giving each other meaningful glances, soulfully didn't tell each other how much they loved the other. Marco never scored, so he went home with a stack of playboys to "console" himself. Ax called a hotline for cushion poisoning and then demorphed. Hey, sounds OK to me!