Disclaimer: I do not own "The Lord of the Rings". If I did, I would be dead and buried.

A/N: Please do not send reviews saying :"What happens next?" Remember, this is a fanfic. It has chapters. When the next chapter is finished, you will see what happens. Thank you.

Legolockie and the Three Orcs

Once upon a time, an elf by the name of Legolockie was skipping through the woods, swinging his bow and arrow, humming "The Ants Go Marching One by One."
Until he tripped over a rock and scraped his knee.
"Ow!" he cried. "Mommy!"
He struggled to stand up and walk again, one he realized no one could hear him within 597,281 miles.
"Meep," he whispered to the nearest squirrel.
He had been crawling for quite some time when he noticed a shack a little ways off.
"Wow!" he exclaimed, jumping up. "I'm suddenly healed!" He ran to the shack, thinking that they'll take in the Prince of Mirkwood.
He approached the door joyfully, and knocked.
Silence.
He knocked again.
Silence.
"Well," he said to himself. "They'd be honored to have me in their home. They won't mind if I walk in."
He tried the door knob. Unfortunately, it didn't work. So Legolockie kicked the door off its hinges.
Legolockie shrugged. "They'll be happy to have their door knocked off by ME."
As he stepped into the shack, his pretty elven foot slipped in a pile of red, sticky stuff. Blood.
"Hey, look! Ketchup!" Legolockie said, grinning at the pile of blood.
He looked around the shack. "My," he said, shaking his head sadly and pinching his nose with his fingers. "Haven't they ever heard of
Febreeze?"
He began poking around the kitchen corner of the shack, looking for something edible... preferably something to dip in that ketchup.
"Oh, wow, look at the pretty green bread!" He picked up three slices of moldy bread. He began wolfing down the piece that was a lighter
shade of green than the rest.
"Ew!" Legolockie spat the bread out. "That's just wrong." He chomped down on the second slice of bread. It was a bit darker than the first
piece. "Agh!" he screamed. "Don't they know how to cook?" He glanced warily at the last slice, which was a very dark green. "Actually..." he bit his lower
lip. "I'm quite full."
He looked around the shack again. There were three cots in another corner.
"Ah," said Legolockie. "I need to stretch my long legs, and this'll be perfect." He plopped down on the first cot, but immediately jumped off
afterwards. "Nasty!" he screamed. "That cot's full of beetles! That won't do." He sat down on the second bed. "This is awfully squishy-AAHH!" he fell off
the bed. "Worms!" he shouted, disgusted. "What kind of elf lives here?" He poked the third bed. It was full of-"SPIDERS!"
It was at that moment, Legolockie, Prince of Mirkwood, fainted.
And that was how the three orcs that lived there found him, passed out on the floor.