Super Mario Hacker Bros.
The Beginning...
Part I
Story By: InvaderDib
New Name: Hacker Bros
Enjoy... Hacker Bros V.1.000001Intro: The Mushroom world, a land where Toads, Koopas, and humans live. For many years the Mushroom world has been a peaceful land full of trees and forests, over the past few years the Kingdom changed and became more high tech. Revolving around new computer technology. Little did they know that it would be their downfall. Mario revolutionized the computer industry with his very own company, Mariosoft; every computer in the world was linked to Mariosoft Corp. making his company ruler of all others. Everything was going fine for a while, but one day, an old enemy of Mario's found a way to put an end to it all… It started out just like any other day; Mario was getting some rest after a well-deserved night of freakiness…
Brrrrrrrrrriiiiiinnngggggg Brrrrrrrrrrriiiiiing… ( It was the phone )
Mario: ( Picks up phone ) … Hello… ( Still tired )
Luigi: Dammit Mario! Where the hell were you last night! You wouldn't answer your pager! Get the hell over here now we've got a crisis on our hands!
Mario: I still use a pager? Fuck I know I had a cell last night.
Luigi: Yeah bitch, you use a pager, and your cell got jacked by one of the strippers.
Mario: I'll be there in 30 minutes… I gotta pick up a cell phone before a damn koopa gets the last one, Later…
Luigi: God Dammit Mario this is Import… Click
Mario arrived at the Mariosoft Co. Building and took the elevator up to the fifth floor, Mariosoft was extremely high tech, but their building was unusually small and not many people worked there, because nobody really needed to, the security was good, the computers were protected against any kind of viruses that would be created in the future, and there was no way someone could get away with breaking into the building, so no one did. ( Besides no one's allowed to break the law except bad guys in the world of Nintendo. ) When Mario took the elevator to the main operations room he found Luigi, Yoshi, Peach, and Toad waiting.
Yoshi: Ahh look who's on time…
Mario: Shut the Fuck up Yoshi! Next time you get trapped in an egg see who comes to help you!
Yoshi: Anybody 'll do if they aint a fat ass like you bitch!
Peach: Now's not the time to fight, we've got bigger things on our hands right now!
Luigi: We can't run anything right now, when the toads find out about this,it could easily turn into a crisis!
Mario: All right so what are we dealing with here…
Toad: Were running on emergency power right now, somehow they managed to get into our files and turn our entire Internet browser off.
Mario: So can't we just turn it back on?
Toad: I already tried they blocked everything. We can't even get into our own operations
Mario: So what can we do?
Toad: Were running out of power… we only have a short time to figure that out…
Meanwhile in the Dark World…
Bwaa Ha Ha Haaaa! This time there's nothing they can do…
Wario: Wa Ha Haa I wonder who could possibly be in the dark world, it sure isn't Bowser and Wario… Wa Ha Haaaa!
Bowser: That was so fuckin gay how we introduced ourselves…
Wario: I know… but it had to be done…
Bowser: … anyway… ahem… Mario will never suspect us of hacking the Mariosoft's computer operations Bwaa Ha Haaaa I mean come on he has soooo many, other enemies besides me!
Wario: He does?
Bowser:Yep, and the best part of it is, he never knew that all that time I was going to college for computer programming! Bwa Ha Haaa!
Wario: Walugi said he'd be here soon, and Mario could never stand up to his skill. And he'll never have the power and knowledge of viruses as we do Wa Ha Haaaaa!
End of Part 1
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Super
Mario Hacker Bros.
Part II
Wario and Bowser were waiting in the Dark World castle for Waluigi to arrive. Wario was watching Bowser as he started clicking on porn links.
Wario: Wa Ha Haaaaa! Click on big Cock Fucking!
Bowser: 0o WHAAAAAT!
Wario: Uhhh… Waaa Ha Haaaa I was joking!
Bowser: … You've really got to stop laughing like that…
Ding! Dong! You've got visitor…
Bowser: Get the door, Wario, It's Waluigi.
Wario walks over to the door and opens it to greet his brother.
Wario: Hey Bro! Haven't seen you since you moved to Monstro Town! Why didn't you call, or write.
Waluigi: Because I hate you… and all my relatives…
Wario: Alright… so this is what's goin down, we already sent a warning virus. They have no idea what's going on, and can't even use the computers for another hour.
Waluigi: So you want me to give them an even worse virus that'll bring the Mushroom Kingdom to it's inevitable doom right?
Wario: Yeah… and even though you don't have much history with the Mario Brothers, just remember that they beat you at Tennis, and didn't invite you to Mario Party 1 and 2...
Waluigi: They'll pay for that…
Wario and Waluigi walked to Bowser's throne room where his laptop was, and Waluigi checked out what progress had been made before he arrived.
Meanwhile…
Mario: They managed to get every computer in the Mushroom Kingdom down just by attacking us… this is what you get for running every computer in the world on our software.
Toad: They can't handle this, I know what it's like… to be a toad in the world without access to the Web. It's horrible…
Peach: So, what should we do.
Yoshi: number one, stop lookin at porn on the important computers, Mario… Number two, search the computer for something suspicious.
Luigi: I think I found it…
Mario:Where?
Luigi: Well, there's a 99 chance that it's in that folder named "VIRUS" on our desktop…
Toad: Can't believe I missed that!
Yoshi: Either that or it's another virus that'll attack us when you delete it.
Luigi: That too… Then that makes it a fifty fifty.
Mario: Damn. That's bad odds… That's like, a one in a million chance we don't get screwed!
Luigi: Oh well!
Luigi opened the folder and deleted the files and as soon as he did, their desktop wallpaper changed
Yoshi: Is it Lesbian Porn! ( Looks at screen )OH SHIT!
What everyone in the Mushroom world had on their desktop was a picture of a 300-pound Wario, bending over towards the camera, mooning everyone. Peach covered her eyes, and tears formed under Mario's eyes. Yoshi passed out and had his face down on the keyboard. And Luigi was in complete shock, such shock that even Wario's nut hanging from two legs of pure meat couldn't pry his eyes from the screen…
End
of Part 2
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Super
Mario Hacker Bros.
Part III
Every computer in the Mushroom Kingdom had a disturbing picture waiting to be seen once its owner went online. Many toads have already seen Wario in the nude, and many were shocked and displeased, except for a few gay toads. Some thought it was a prank, but every one would surely be tramatized before the hacking would end.
Mario: Someone please get these computers fixed!
Toad: What sick and twisted person would do such a thing!
Luigi: …… ( still in shock )
Mario: Please Toad, I can't take it any longer… ( Throws up ) Blllleeeeeaaaaaaaaa!
Toad: I won't let this go on any longer! And I won't let all we've worked for go to waste! I'm going to find out who's responsible for this!
Mario: But what if you can't!
Toad: Then I'll die trying…
Mario:…
Toad: Sorry was that a bit too dramatic, well it is in the script and I just thought I'd, well... nevermind… ( Slams door )
Meanwhile…
Waluigi is sitting at Bowser's laptop…
Waluigi: Alright, so the virus you sent affects everyone in the Mushroom World?
Bowser: yep, everyone uses Mariosoft, and the best part of it is, is that everyone's become so dependant on it, that getting rid of it changes their way of life. Soon they'll start rioting and I will easily be able to rule the…
Waluigi: ahem…
Bowser: Uhhh I mean, us… ( Damn, I knew this would happen )
Wario: Look!
Suddenly Waluigi's page close, and brings up the homepage, the same one the rest of the Mushrom Kingdom, as well as Mario are seeing…
Bowser and Waluigi: … ( shocked )
Wario: WAAAA HA HAAAAA! WAAAA HA HAAAAA!
Waluigi: You dumb asses! When you said everyone was connected to Mariosoft, I didn't think you meant that you were too!
Bowser: Just to let you know that picture was not my idea!
Waluigi: ( whispering to Wario ) are you two, gay together?
Wario: Wa Ha, Wa Ha… Ahhh…
Waluigi: Great, I'm working with Fags…
Bowser: Ahem! Wario's virus here, is labeled Warioware. The picture was not my idea! He added it without me knowing!
Wario: Yeah, It's right next to my hanging nut! Waa Ha Haaaa!
Waluigi: ………
Bowser: ( embarrassed ) Yes… I guess it is… ANYWAY! We decided to label it Warioware to throw them off and send them to Wario's castle… so they could fuck it up… instead of wrecking mine… you know how long it takes to clean this place once Mario raids it!
Waluigi: Alright… enough of that. First I'll get you a new browser then I'll start up the new virus, from now on each virus is Waluigiware version 1, 2 and so on… Once this virus hit's… the Mushroom Kingdom will be no more…
Back at Mariosoft…
Peach: Mario…
Mario: Yeah…
Peach: I was wondering… since Yoshi's knocked out and Luigi's, well… in a coma, ya think we could umm, ya know…
Mario: Storage room? Sure why not…
End of Part 3
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Super
Mario Hacker Bros.
Part IV
Mario and Peach came out of the storage room laughing. Mario's hat was turned a little to one side and the button on his overalls was undone, also his shirt was wet with sweat. Peach wasn't wearing her crown and her hair was now very messy, her left bra strap was also undone. When they walked out Yoshi was staring with a grin.
Yoshi: And you guys were in there for…
Mario: Uhh we were uhh looking for…
Peach: Looking for Stuff! Ya know, the kinda stuff that makes… computers not break…
Yoshi: Riiiiight… Look… I'm not gonna tell anybody but you two better keep your sex life more secret from now on, I don't want to hear that moanin shit anymore!
Mario: Anyway… where's Luigi…
Yoshi: I don't know… when I wokeup he was still gone… oh yeah and one of the laptops are missing…
Peach: I thought I heard someone open the door to the storage room while we were in there , but I was moaning so load it could've been anything…
Mario: Damn I'm good…
Yoshi: Dammit I don't want to hear about your sex life! And no I'm not pissed off cause I'm asexual! I can fuck a Yoshi if I wanted too!
Bam! Bam! Bam!
Peach: What was that!
Mario: It sounded like an earthquake! But it's coming from the bathroom!
Mario opened the bathroom door...
Mario: OH MY GOD! ( covers eyes )
What Mario saw was Luigi sitting in front of his Laptop, Jacking off to Wario…
Luigi: NO! Mario, It's not what you think!I'm not gay! I'M NOT GAAAAAYY!
Meanwhile in the Dark World…
Waluigi was working on the new Waluigiware virus. He already set up a new browser, Haxor-net Explorer. The new virus he was working on would be the one to send the Mushroom Kingdom into Peril, but it still wouldn't be the end. Once the Mushroom Kingdom falls, the whole Mushroom World is vulnerable to attack.
Wario: So, why didn't you give us a fancy logo? Every browser needs a logo.
Waluigi: I thought about it, but the "WB" logo just didn't work out.
Bowser: Why not it represents for all three of us.
Waluigi: I don't know… It just seems like it's been used before, the letters I mean… I don't know what from but… I just know I've seen it once…
Bowser: hmm… how bout a bo-bomb, I use em, you use em, it should work out.
Waluigi: Yeah, and we could have it blow their screen up and flip em off and shit!
Bowser: Hellz yah!
Waluigi: so what now…
Bowser: Make the fuckin virus! Damn!
Meanwhile…
Mario: Alright! I got that picture off the net. Next time I catch you jacking off, especially to male porn! You'll lose your job! And your girlfriend, and your life! Maybe if it's hot lesbian porn I'll let you off the hook but other than that, I never want to see that again!
Peach: Hey!
Luigi:( Crying ) I'm sory, I couldn't help myself, he was just so hot! Aheh… aheh (crys)
Mario: I just can't believe it… and to think. He had so many fans… I guess their all gay now… the true fans at least
Peach: It's a sad thing…
Luigi: If only you could see how hot he was to me… then you'd undertand… ( Crying )
End of Part 4
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Super Mario Hacker Bros.
Part V
Toad was walking through a world he hoped never to see in his life… a world of fear. Not one person was out. Everyone was inside praying not to be attacked once more. Only Toad knew, that if there were to be another attack, his world would never be the same.
Toad: It's gotta be Wario, I mean come on! He put gay porno of himself on every computer in the Kingdom! What was I thinking doing this alone… I'm gonna need some help…
Toad walked over to a green warp pipe near the inn that led him to Toadsworth's house.
Toad: ( Knock Knock Knock )Toadsworth!
The door opens and Toadsworth walks out smoking a pipe
Toadsworth: ( blows a puff of white smoke in Toads face ) Ahhh! It's you my boy! Ha Ha! What's troubling you.
Toad: Cough! Cough! Toadsworth, would you be willing to die for the sake of the internet?
Toadsworth: If I'll get more marijuana in the process than yes. Yes I would. If not… no
Toad: No, I told you I can't get you any more… Yoshi punked me for the rest…
Toadsworth: Well I'm terribly sorry then Toad but I can't do anything crazy without being hi…
Toad: It's Mariosoft…
Toadsworth: WHO DA FUCK DONE IT!
Meanwhile at Mariosoft…
Yoshi: Where the hell is Toad! ( I need more drugs… )
Mario: He went to find out who's responsible for this.
Yoshi: So he's going to find Wario?
Mario: Hey let's not make any assumptions yet! It could be someone else!
Yoshi: but what if Wario, strips in front of Toad or something and body slams him with his naked ass!
Mario: That won't happen Yoshi, Toad is smarter than that… he'd plan an attack… And I said Wario's not the Hacker! DAMN! I know he's not smart enough to pull this off!
Yoshi: but what if he is…
Mario: Allright fine! Someone has to go save Toad, risk their lives in the face of evil, and defeat the one responsible for corrupting our network.
Yoshi: So who's gonna do it…
Mario: You two… ( Mario points to Yoshi and Peach )
Meanwhile…
Toad: Alright Toadsworth, there's only one more person we need to complete the TTT…
Toadsworth: Is it a hot chick…
Toad: No… The final member of the TTT is… Tayce T. Toad…
Toadsworth: Hellz Ya! Granny Powa!
Meanwhile at Mariosoft…
Yoshi + Peach: What!
Peach: Why us, there's no way we can do all that, I've never been on an adventure alone before…
Mario: You're the only ones who can do this, don't forget, we also need someone to sit on their ass all day waiting for the next attack…
Yoshi: I'm getting screwed… ( at least I can get my drugs when we find Toad )
Peach and Yoshi leave to find Toad, later Luigi has a personal question…
Luigi: Mario… will Daisy still like me if I'm gay…
Mario: What the fuck do you care, Fag!
Luigi: Mario… I'm… Bi! ( Crys )
End of Chapter