The Moth Effect

Author: merry holdwine

Rating: PG-13

Genre: drama/mystery

Characters: All of them but the story revolves around Claire

Pairing: Charlie/Claire and maybe others

Summary: Claire is living a quiet life far from the Island and its Monsters. She thinks that all those events happened only inside her head. But did they?

Disclaimer: J.J. Abrams et Damon Lindelof created Lost. David Fury, Javi and all the writers are also to blame for this success. I'm just having fun with their characters hehehe.

Spoilers: Season 1

Notes: - My first Lost fic and my first in English... this fiction needs to be beta-red, I know.

- I will try to make a photomanip and choose a song for each chapter... you can see/hear those at the end of the chapter everytime (but read the chapter before!)

- The Prologue and the first chapter were written before I saw episode 1.21.

Prologue

"I'm telling you sweetie", firmly said the middle-aged woman in the corner of the room. "That happened."

"Somebody's been watching the re-runs of E.R. last night!" exclaimed her friend Reggie sitting opposite to her, making all of them laugh. "Don't listen to her," she added for the young blonde woman that was listening to the conversation with a gentle smile upon her face. "She's just messing with you because it's your first day here."

Claire Littleton had only been in the department since the morning of this very day and yet, she was already starting to like it there. All these ladies around her had certainly seen enough pain and tears for several lifetimes and still (or because of that) they had the strength to chat and laugh as if their job weren't being a nurse in the E.R. of a reknowned Hospital of Sydney but helping Santa Claus to deliver Christmas presents. Well, it wasn't as if she hadn't had her share of problems and drama either but- no no no, she wouldn't go down that road again. Her psychiatrist and her had agreed that those Baby/Plane Crash/Island/Monsters/Kidnapping stories had only happened inside her head when Thomas left her two years ago. It is also with him that she decided to go back to the Nurse School that she quit when her mother threw her out of her house. And now here she was, first day of training in the E.R. Finally, her life was starting to take shape.

Suddenly, the door of the resting room slammed open. "Sorry to disturb you ladies," announced Rudolph the receptionist. "But an ambulance is on its way."

"I'm on this one," said Reggie. "Claire, you ready?"

"Wh-what?" she answered, caught off her guard.

"Well here's some action, you have to start some day! Just follow me and don't get in the doctors' way."

"O-kay..."

The two women stormed out the room and got to the main corridor where the ambulance drivers had already gotten the patient out of their car. There were so many people around him that Claire couldn't see anything and she didn't dare pushing people aside.

"So what is it?" asked one of the doctors.

"25-30-year-old guy, around 5'7, found inconscious in the street, probably drug abuse. He wasn't breathing when we arrived but now he is..."

"Wh-where am I?" said a hoarse voice.

"He's conscious!" said Reggie.

"Hello sir," the doctor said as they were setting up in one of the E.R. rooms. "Can you tell me your name?"

"Claire, move!" yelled the older nurse. "Go get me that tray!"

Claire got out of her stillness and picked up the tray in her hands.

"Can you speak louder Sir, I couldn't hear you."

"Are you bloody deaf? My name is Ch-Charlie Pace."

Claire dropped the tray.

Everybody was staring at her.

"What's wrong with her?" the doctor asked Reggie. "First E.R. action I guess."

"Claire, go out and get some fresh air."

The young woman was looking blankly at her hands.

"Claire!"

She moved out of her transe and pushed the double door open. She ran into the closest toilets and threw up. Then she washed her face with cold water. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. 'It can't be,' she told herself. 'It's all in my head. It's a coincidence. I'm sure all the British people say 'bloody' all the time. And that there are a lot of them called Charlie.' But she knew she was lying to herself. There was only one Charlie Pace. He was a musician. He was funny. He was adorable. He used to make her feel safe. He drank tea. He counted in sugar plum fairies. He was a drug-addict. He loved her. And her baby. And she loved him. But he- the Charlie Pace in her head- her Charlie- he was dead.

After a few minutes, Claire managed to pull a normal face and got out of the bathroom. Her eyes got attracted to the E.R. room right away. A warm hand touched her shoulder.

"You okay Peanut?"

"Don't call me that!" she yelled at Reggie, pushing her away.

"What's wrong with you?"

"And stop saying that! There's nothing wrong with me!"

"If you say so..."

"So... is he okay?"

"Who?"

"The British guy."

"Oh yes he is."

Claire suppressed a sigh of relief.

"And I wish he were unconscious at least," she added. "He keeps talking and talking... mainly about the rock band he's supposed to be a member of... but I'm telling you, all the Junkies aren't rock stars!"

"Can I see him?"

"Why?"

Claire shrugged as an answer.

"You know him?"

"No-" Reggie frowned. "-and yes. Now that you tell me that, I know why he looked so familiar, I know the band he's in, it's Driveshaft, isn't it?"

"Yeah. You're not gonna ask him an autograph, are you?"

Claire had a look through Charlie's window. Well apparently babbling about his rock star past must have been exhausting because he was sleeping like a baby angel now. She slowly opened the door and closed it behind her. Was it true? Or did her imagination include a random musician she saw once on TV? But no, she was sure she had never heard of Driveshaft before... or did she repress that? It was so confusing. Months and months to forget all about that and bang! It was coming back to her right into her face. She sat in the chair next to the bed. If anyone asked, she could say she was just checking on him. As a good nurse would do.

She looked at him attentively. He looked a bit older than in her memories but that was certainly due to additional years spent in heroine addiction. She got to her feet to get closer and resisted the urge to caress his cheek with her hand.

"Are you bloody staring at me?"

She jumped and almost fell down, catching hold of the chair. His eyes were on her, and they were as blue as she could remember. Only a bit bloodshot with the drugs and the exhaustion.

"So?" He asked. "Did a cat eat your tongue?"

"I-I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Are you a fan?" he said hopefully.

"Oh no no no no no," she quickly corrected.

"Thank you..."

"Oh no that's not what I meant!"

"Then what're you doing here?" he aggressively replied. "Staring at the dregs of society? Reassuring yourself that you're at least better than that?" He moved and turned his back to her.

"No you don't understand... I-" she hesitated a second. "I know you."

She hadn't been meaning to tell him the "truth" when she came into his room. But seeing him, talking to him, almost touching him had woken up too strong feelings inside her. Feelings she hadn't allowed to get out since an eternity.

"You know me?" he said with a mocking laugh. "Well I don't know you so get out of here."

"Your brother is called Liam. He's the one who convinced you to play with the band professionnally. It's his fault if you got into drugs. He has a daughter and lives in Sydney now."

"That doesn't prove anything. You just read junk papers."

"The day you took heroine for the first time... he told you he was Driveshaft and that no one knew who the sodding bassist was..."

Charlie turned back to face her with a very confused face.

"How do you- how do- how? I've never talked anybody about that. Have you been talking to my brother? Did he ask you to do that? Is it another of his fancy plans to save me?"

"No I don't know him. But I do know he... never looked out for you, his little brother."

"Wow. Woman, you're really scaring me now. Are you a psychic?"

"Oh for God's sake no!" she laughed.

"But I don't understand..."

"Okay. I'm gonna tell you a story. It may seen untrue and invented and there was a time - that ended about two hours ago when I saw you enter the E.R. - when I didn't even believe it myself. But this is my story. Our story. Yours, mine, but also Jack's, Kate's, Sawyer's and all the others. And the Peanut's..."

The Moth Effect Soundtrack

One Fine Day by Robbie Williams

Manip of the Prologue: Claire staring at sleeping Charlie

just copy and paste this in your browser and replace the dot by real dots to see the manip

i3dotphotobucketdotcom/albums/y85/merryart/manipmoth/manipprologue.jpg