"Imma fuckin' do it m'self!" Peter said, trying to climb a fence.
"Peter you're drunk." Ned said, shaking his head disappointedly as his friend failed to climb a three foot fence with an open gate next to it.
Ned went over to lift Peter's foot to help him over the fence, but Peter kicked Ned's hand away.
"I said Imma fuckin' do it m'self!"
Ned sighed and walked through the open gate, dragging his friend by the hands down the street towards his apartment. Good thing Aunt May was working her shift.
As they were walking past stores, Peter decided to grab a welcome mat from the front door of an antique shop and make a mad dash out of view.
"Peter that isn't your! Put it back!" Ned said as he ran after him.
"No! You can't make me!" Peter said childishly as he pranced around the empty street of Queens.
A loud gasp broke Ned from his wallowing as he looked over at Peter who was staring at a sign.
The sign was a bright orange, in the shape of a diamond, a little banged up but what mattered most to Peter was the words.
"ROAD WORK AHEAD! UH YEAH, I SURE HOPE IT DOES!!" Peter screaming before bursting out into laughter.
Ned laughed before returning the mat and dragging his friend into his apartment. Peter kicked open his door and ran to the bathroom.
Ned slowly followed after, seeing Peter leaning over the toilet with his shirt off. Ned knocked on the open door, gaining Peter's attention. Peter noticed him and quickly stood up.
"Dude, you missed the best part!" He said before laughing, and then proceeding to throw up. Ned took notice of the bath water filling the tub.
"Cannonball!" Peter shouted as he jumped in, splashing water all over Ned and then giggling like a small child.
"That's it, I'm calling Tony." Ned said to no one in particular before pulling his phone out and dialing Tony's number.
"Hey Mr. Stark." Ned said, glancing at Peter.
"Hey Ned, why are you calling? Is Peter ok?" Tony asked.
"Uh well— Peter that's my fucking toothbrush." Ned said exasperated as Peter started brushing his teeth with Ned's toothbrush.
"Oh it is? My bad." He said before throwing it over his head.
"Peter go lay down you're drunk." Ned said, forgetting Tony was on the phone.
"Peter's wHAT?" Tony shouted as the rest of the Avengers watched with popcorn in their hands.
"Peter you can't swing to Mr. Starks house while you're drunk."
"I CAN FUCKIN DO IT M'SELF!!" Tony and the rest of the Avengers heard from the phone.
"Fine. He's on his way now Mr. Stark. Bye." Ned hung up as Tony ran a hand down his face.
A couple minutes later, they heard something run into the window, they all glanced over to see an almost naked boy with a Spider-Man mask on.
"F.R.I.D.A.Y. Open the windows." Tony said, watching as Peter drunkenly waved at him.
The windows opened and Peter ripped off the mask and throwing it into Clint's face as he crawled in and landed on the couch.
"Alright kid, bedtime." Tony said, grabbing his arm and dragging him towards his room.
"IMMA FUCKIN DO IT M'SELF!!" He shouted, ripping his hand from Tony's and knocking over a vase which shattered.
Peter laughed before pointing at it. "Hey look, it's my heart." He erupted into a fit of laughs cause the rest of the Avengers to laugh as well.
"Clint grab him." Tony said, sighing as him and Peter started to wrestle.
Clint put Peter into a headlock and waited until Peter tapped his thigh.
"Shit I tapped." He said before laughing and stumbling over to the bar.
"Yeah no. F.R.I.D.A.Y. Lock it up." Tony said as the glass cabinets had metal slide over them.
"Ты чертов ублюдок." Peter muttered in Russian, weakly punching the metal and stumbling back over to the couch.
Steve sighed and went to pick Peter up. But when he went to pick Peter up, he got slapped in the face by Peter.
"Shmaptain Shmerica. Go fuck ya'self." Peter told Steve before falling back on the couch. Tony burst out laughing before ruffling the kids hair as Natasha, Clint, and Bruce cackled.
Wanda and Vision laughed slightly as the youngest Avengers antics.
"Ughhh Imma be sick." Peter said before stumbling towards the nearest bathroom.
They heard the bath water turn on and came to see what Peter was doing.
Peter was laying in the water when they came in. Peter looked up at them brown eyes slightly glazed as he started laughing.
"I'm washin' me in my clothes bITCH. I'm washin' me in my clothes." He said before rolling out of the tub and stumbling to Clint's room.
Peter jumped on his bed putting his hands behind his head as water soaked into Clint's bedsheets.
"I hate you!" Clint shouted jokingly
"I hate you." Peter drunkenly said back.
"Ugh I fuckin' hate you kid."
"Yeah well I hate you."
Clint's words earned a 'language' by Shmaptain Shmerica himself.
Clint and Peter started to wrestle in the hallway while Scott started betting with Natasha on who would win. Scott for Peter and Natasha for Clint, both of them betting 20.
Natasha won as Clint quickly dragged Peter down the carpeted hallway, no doubt burning the skin on his back.
"Hey! Careful with my kid!" Tony called out after Clint.
"Your kid eh?" Wanda said, nudging Tony with her elbow. Tony rolled his eyes and sighed.
"He's 16 and already as drunk as me. This is the worst day in history. I told him specifically not to become me and look at him now!" Tony said pacing back and forth as Natasha and Wanda calmed him down.
"HEY LOOK! I CAN FLY!" Peter said before jumping out the window. Tony choked on air and dashed towards the window to see Peter swinging through New York.
Without his mask.
"Ah shit." Tony said, activating his Iron Man suit and flying after Peter.
~Line Break~
Peter was now laying on the couch, sweatpants on but he refused to put on a shirt. He was sober now, sort of.
He lifted up his arms and stretched, revealing his rib cage that had a tattoo on it.
"Is that a tattoo." Sam asked, poking the inked flesh on Peter's ribs.
"Tattoo?" Tony echoed, looking at the tattoo with everyone else.
The tattoo was neat and written in cursive.
Loser 3
Peters eyes snapped open at the word and threw his arm down, covering the words with a light blush and a sheepish grin.
Tony ran a hand through his hair and down his face, sighing as he grabbed a pillow from the couch, took a deep breath, and screamed as loud as he could into the pillow.
Pepper took that perfect moment to walk out of the elevator and see the chaos that has erupted while she was gone.
"What the hell happened?" She said, looking at the mess they had all made.
Peter shot up from his position and Bucky slowly tried to inch out of the room but Steve grabbed his bicep and yanked him back. No one could blame Bucky for trying to leave. When Pepper was mad, it was hell.
"Peter got drunk and got a tattoo that's what happened." Tony said somewhat angrily.
"wHAT?!" Pepper shrieked, storming over to Peter and checking his temperature before slapping the back of his head.
"Ow!" He said, rubbing the back of his head.
"Show me the tattoo." Pepper demanded, crossing her arms angrily.
Peter sighed and lifted his arm, showing the Loser 3 tattoo to Pepper.
Pepper squealed at the word, remembering that's what Peter's girlfriend called him.
"Aww. That's so cute. Did Michelle get one too?" Pepper cooed.
"Yeah, She has a heart on the inside of her ring finger and so do I. Then the cops came." He said tiredly, yawing in the middle of his story.
Tony's eyes softened at the memory of Peter and MJ together.
"Alright kiddo, bedtime." Tony said, grabbing Peter's hand and dragging him to his room.
When they got there Peter crawled into bed and Tony said goodnight as walked out to the living room.
Seeing as it was almost 2:00 A.M. everyone dismissed themselves to bed, calling out goodnight as they went.
Tony and Peoper went to their bedroom and changed into the nightwear, crawling under the soft silk sheets.
Tony and Pepper got a nice hour and a half rest before they heard a scream come from Peter's room.
Tony shot up once he heard the scream and jogged to Peter's room with Pepper beside him.
They opened the door to see Peter trapped in a nightmare, kicking and screaming and pleading.
"Help! Please I'm stuck down here! Please!" He shouted before Tony ran a hand through his hair and gathered him into his arms. Pepper placed a kiss to him temple.
"Hey Peter, you're safe. You're here with us ok. You're ok. You're ok." Tony said, slightly rocking back and forth as Peter sobbed into his shirt.
Pepper rubbed his back comfortingly, as she but her lip worriedly.
"You wanna tell me why happened?" Tony asked lightly, not wanting to press on the matter.
Peter trembled as he took a deep breath and slightly pulled away from Tony's grasp.
"When—When I took down Toomes, I found him In—In an abandoned wharehouse. He used his suit to—to bring down the support beams as he escaped. He collapsed the building on me and I was trapped down there for ever it felt like. I was so scared." Peters voice shook as he told Pepper and Tony the story.
"I took the suit." Tony whispered to himself. Realizing if he hadn't, he would've gotten an alert that Peter was in trouble.
"It's not your fault Tony." Peter said quietly, snuggling into Tony and Pepper laid down on the other side of Peter, carding her hands through his hair.
"Alrigh, move over you two, make room for the old man." Tony said as he crawled into Peter's bed with Pepper and Peter. Peter in between them.
Tony kissed Peter's forehead as Pepper kept running her manicured hands through his curled hair.
"Night Mom, night Dad." Peter mumbled before snuggling into Tony's chest, sighing contentky as Pepper kept running her hand through his hair.
Pepper and Tony looked at each other with tears in their eyes from what Peter called them.
"Oh my god, Tony." Pepper said with a tear falling down her cheek.
"I know Pep, I know." Tony said, with his own tear falling down his cheek.
"Goodnight sweetie." Pepper said with her lips pressed firmly on the back of his head.
"Night Pep." Tony said, closing his eyes.
"Goodnight Tony." Pepper said, gazing at her two boys before falling asleep.
~A/N~
Ok so I almost cried. And the next chapter to If The Avengers Had Kids is coming out soon. I promise. This was written at 4:00 A.M. so if it has misspelled words I'm sorry. Alright, see you next time guys. — Queen