A/N: (Ugh, this story's going to be total crap…) Alrite, here's a new story. So this story is based and written 100% off of Zombies: A Record of the Year of Infection by Dr. Robert Twombly (aka Don Roff) I recommend you read that before or after reading this. It has pictures. So sorry if this is bad, but I tried.

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or Zombies: A Record of the Year of Infection by Don Roff. The following passage in italics is taken almost exactly from the book, with a small number of changes made. That passage is ©2009 by becker&mayer! and Dan Roff. I DO NOT OWN IT.

What follows is a found diary. The author, Sam Puckett, was a senior at Ridgeway Junior-Senior High School in Seattle, Washington. Puckett saw the worldwide virulent infection that, as we now know, began suddenly on January 7, 2012 and killed nearly 5 billion people. The infection lasted about one year, and during that time all known zombies either decayed enough to yield to their physical ailments or were destroyed by the few human survivors.

Sam Puckett's diary is a distinctive record of the time of infection in that it tries to understand the walking dead by living among them. It is also a record of Sam's day-to-day experiences at a time when such records were not commonly kept.

The diary was found inside an empty house in the town of Yellowknife, at the edge of Great Slave Lake in southern Northwest Territories, Canada. The whereabouts and fate of Sam Puckett and her eventual boyfriend Fredward Benson, who travelled with Puckett, are unknown. Her notations have been reproduced here in their whole.

January 4, 2012

Puckett here (Sam Puckett, that is). Ugh, it's soo boring in my house now that the holidays are over. Not that we ever do much for the holidays anyway. This year, our tree was a coat hanger – broken, of course – that my mom got from some pawn shop owner she was dating at the time. We took some lights, threw them on, and called it a tree. Whoopee. Not to mention, Melanie's here. Why does she have to come here for Christmas? Just because her stupid college (don't remember the name. Why should I?) doesn't allow students to stay over holiday break doesn't mean she has to come here, does it?? Oh well, at least I can always go over to Carly's or even Fredweirdo's if I'm really desperate. Or at least, I NORMALLY can. I'm not allowed out of the house. My mom says the holidays are for family, and I'm being punished for gluing training bras to Mr. Howard's car (cuz nothing ruin's a manly image more than training bras glued to a car). Yeah, I know what you're thinking, Diary. Why don't I just sneak out? Well, I can't, on account of Mel's watching me like a hawk, and is going to sound the 'Sam Alarm' if I try to leave. She's sitting next to me on the couch, saying she can't see what I'm writing, but I can tell that she totally can. Well, let's test out my theory, shall we? I think Melanie is a pitiful, unnecessary, psychotic, platypus-beating waste of space with no friends…and now she's leaving. She looked like she was going to cry, haha! That's what you get for reading over my shoulder, Mel! Umm, maybe that was a little mean…I didn't mean any of that I just wrote, you know. Plus, I can hear her crying in the bathroom. Maybe I should apologize…nah. That's not the Sam Puckett way. But maybe I'll do something nice for her. Maybe. If I'm really bored. And my mom's waking up. That's wonderful. Last night she passed out on the couch, and is still there. And now she's going to get a beer. Oh no, she's going into my room (why she thinks I have beer in there, I don't know. If I want beer, I'll go to the fridge and get it, not stow it in my room so it gets all warm and gross.) And now she's screaming at me to clean my room, and at Melanie to get outta the bathroom. Great. Well, I better go do it so she doesn't have a heart attack or something. Write later, maybe.

~Sam

Later

Melanie won't talk to or look at me. I'm actually feeling a little guilty for writing what I did. Oh well.

~Sam

A/N: Yeah, that had nothing to do with zombies. But there will be zombie stuff in the next chapter. Cuz in the book, the first entry takes place b4 all the zombie stuff, as does this chapter. And also, remember that Sam was held back in the third grade, so Melanie is a grade ahead of her, Carly, and Freddie. So, review and tell me what you think :)