What About Us? – John Barrowman
A short scene from Jason and Nate's crumbling relationship after the band dissolves, based on John Barrowman's song 'What About Us?'
Disclaimer: The song and characters and such are not mine.
Jason remained facing the bare wall. The sheets still pulled to his neck, breathing even, curled in a tight ball. His eyes are still burning and swollen with dry tears from the night before. He hasn't slept, even as he tries to pretend to. He knows his lover beside him hasn't either. The younger man is tense even as he remains in bed, the smooth sheets over his strong frame doing nothing to hide his stiff muscles.
It has only been a year since the band had disbanded and they fell off the map. It had been easier than they thought. Easier than this.
Nate sighed harshly and sat up, kicking the sheets away and trying to stretch his tense muscles. "Fuck," he cursed under his breath and he tugged at his messy curls. Jason remained motionless as Nate padded from the room and began the familiar motions to make coffee.
The tears began to fall again as Nate threw a mug across the kitchen. Jason curled further under the covers and wished to block Nate's angry curses as he lashed out at the cabinets. "Stop," he mumbled helplessly.
As suddenly as it began it all ended and Nate crashed to the floor. Dry sobs pulled from his chest as he rubbed at his burning eyes.
"What happened to us?" Nate called from the floor.
Jason allowed the tears to fall harder. They had been trying to make it work. Everything had run so smoothly when they were running, hiding from everyone. Then, all of the sudden it was only about them and a relationship based on lies and shadows.
"It's different now isn't it?" he's in the doorway. Jason keeps his back to him avoiding the dark look Nate wears now.
"Yes," Jason whispers.
"What are we doing?" Nate asks as he sinks to the bed. He rubs at his forehead trying to stall the migraine.
Jason hissed angrily and shot out of the covers. "What are we to you?! What, the fucking honeymoons over, all the funs gone, and you're just gonna let us fall apart?!"
Nate looks at him with dark unreadable eyes. "Answer me! I can't read your fucking mind. I'm lost enough here without you are hiding! Please."
Nate sighs and looks away, "I love you."
"Is that enough anymore, Nate? It is for me. I'll fight." Jason walks towards the bedroom door.
"What do you want me to say?" Nate sighs, his eyes still dark.
Jason gives a sharp cry and turns his back to his lover. "What's really on your mind? What about never giving up? What about us? What about the love we share?" with that Jason leaves the room and settles on the couch near the ashy fireplace.
Nate slides to the floor and pulls his knees to his chest. "What are we doing?" he hisses as he buries his face in his knees with a hollow sob. They had been trying so hard, too hard maybe, to make this work. It could, he knows they can make this work. They have to fight and if all they have is their love, it will have to do because he doesn't want to lose this as much as Jason doesn't.
The first tear in over a year falls, then the next. As Nate stumbled in to the living room they are a constant stream.
"I'm so confused," Jason mumbles tiredly as Nate enters.
"I don't want to lose you," Nate hisses and he sits near Jason. He places his hand in the gap between them on the couch. "I love you and we will make that enough."
Jason looks up to his lover and his heart squeezes to see the dark look replaced by bright eyes shining with pain and an overwhelming amount of love. He smiles faintly and reaches his fingertips out to the waiting hand. They run over the smooth surface of the gold ring before they interlace fingers in a silent promise.