Sorry this is so extreamly short. I wanted it to sound more like thoughts inside of his head, then an actual story. I believe in the episode where spencer is forced to take Dilaudid, it's injected into him, right? I looked it up because I have the memory of a 90 year old woman, but the website was really vague. I looked up the drug and it says that it can be both injected and taken in pill form. I liked the idea of spencer hidding pills in his cardigan and brief case better then him shooting up in a bathroom, I think it's more dramatic.
Spencer Reid belongs to Jeff Davis and Matthew Gray Gubler
I need it. I need it like a fish needs water, like a bird needs to fly, like the rest of you need oxygen. I can't function any longer without it. It's the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing when I go to sleep. It keeps me moving and slows me down all at once. And so, like I high diver asks for silence, I ask only that of you while I drop the little white pills in my mouth and take the plunge. Immediately, a voice in my head says "Oh god, what have I done." And "Why am I doing this? It's wrong!" but soon enough, it dulls my senses and puts me out of my misery.
I am floating through life on a boat with many leaks. It looks like a disaster on the outside, but on the inside I am as happy as I can be. I am the only one in this boat. I am the sick twisted captain and I go down alone with my ship. Storms threaten my waterlogged ship with questions, but I brush them aside and tell them that I'm fine. No one needs to fully understand. I can tell that they are suspicious, but keeping them in the dark gives me at least some bit of security.
It makes me week, but who cares? I've always been the week one. I've always been the annoying kid who everyone puts up with because they can't catch the maniacs without me. I wonder what they would think if they knew I was just as bad as the people I help them catch. Would they shun me? Would they try to help? It doesn't matter; I'm never going to tell. Secrets keep me sane. No one knows my secrets but me and my pills.
My name is Spencer Reid and I am an accidental addict.