So, I couldn't let this story go. Here it is, Part II of More Than A Feeling.
You can find Part One in my fanfic profile.
Characters belong to Shonda. The rest is mine.
Chapter One
ARIZONA'S POV
One year later…
"Yes, mom." Rolling my eyes as my mother hands out her demands down the phone, I lean back against the counter of the bar and sigh. "I know it's not that simple and I know I should appreciate what I have but is it too much to ask that the place is freaking suitable to live in?"
"It's a tap, honey." She laughs. "Is it really that big of a deal?"
"Yeah, it is," I state. "I wanted everything to be perfect."
"And it is. You know everything about your life is perfect. Just…stop worrying."
"I'm not worrying. I'm just mad." Pushing off of the counter, Tim steps through the doors of the bar and gives me a wave. Acknowledging his presence, I step up behind the bar and power up the coffee machine. "I have to go, mom. I have too much to do here and then I have to tell Eliza that everything is messed up and that I'm a terrible wife."
"Grow up, Arizona." Mom sighs. "You have no idea just how lucky you are."
"Oh, I do...but I won't later when she freaks out."
"She couldn't care less, honey. You know that."
"Yeah, whatever." I groan. "I'll call you in a few days, mom. I love you, bye."
"Goodbye, Zona." Ending the call with my mother, I shove my cell into my back pocket and make Tim and I some coffee. This day has been kicking my ass since the moment I woke, and honestly, I'm ready for it to end. I've been ready for it to end since I walked through the doors of the bar two hours ago, but I'm really getting on my own last nerve right now.
"Hey, Dimps." Tim comes from out back with a box of wine. "Was that momma?"
"Yeah." I sigh. "Coffee?"
"Sure." He smiles. "Bad day?"
"The fucking worst." Slamming two cups down beside me, I turn to face him and he has some weird grin going on. "I'm glad you think this is funny."
"Oh, I don't." He holds up his hands. "I just don't know why you are worrying so much."
"Because it was supposed to be perfect. Now everything is set back and I was so ready to do this. I was ready to finally let it go…but the longer it takes, the less I want to do this. It's just…it's hard, you know?"
"I've fixed it." He states.
"Fixed what?" I furrow my brow. He's totally lost me.
"The tap. It was just an air bubble in the system."
"You're joking, right?" A smile now plastered on my face, I wrap my arms around him and squeeze him tighter than I've ever squeezed anyone before. "I knew I loved you for some weird reason."
"Kiss my ass." He pulls back and flips me the finger. "You love me because I'm awesome. Admit it!"
"Fine. You're awesome." I roll my eyes and turn away from him. "So, you good for tomorrow?"
"Damn right I am." He states. "I know it's hard for you, Zo, but it's time for you to let the place go."
"I know." Bracing myself against the counter, I drop my head on my shoulders and sigh. "It was just my safe place. I love it there. It's where I first shared dinner with my wife. It's where we first, you know. I just…I have so many amazing memories there."
"And you'll take them with you and make new memories." He tries to reassure me but nothing anybody says has made me feel any better lately. "You have Eliza, and that is all that matters."
"Yeah, you're right." I turn and smile. "Just one of those things I have to do, huh?"
"Yep." He throws me a wink. "And you know you can come by and see me anytime you like."
"Ugh, and have to witness what you've done to my sanctuary? I think I'll pass…"
"Fine." He shrugs. "I've already decided what I'm changing."
"I don't want to know." I hold up my hand and grab my coffee. "I'm depressed enough thinking about it." Rounding the counter, I pull down a chair and sit for five before I open the bar up. I don't have to be here this evening, but I was avoiding going home. Now that Tim has fixed my issue, I have no reason to be here any longer than I need to. I'll enjoy my coffee and then I'll head home to my apartment for the last time. Yeah, we've sold up and bought a house. Eliza was behind the idea, but it makes sense. We want something that we can say we bought together. Something we both had an opinion on.
It feels like it's been a long time coming, but the place is finally ready and tomorrow I hand my keys over to my brother and head off to our new life a little outside of the city. It's not too far away, and it's still easy for us both to get to the bar, but I'm struggling a little right now. I know that I've made the right decision, but I loved that apartment. I always will. It was the one place I felt happy in after I left Amanda and it was so good for Eliza and I. It was a place where I didn't feel like anything in my life was tainted by my past. It was the place where I made love to her for the first time. The place she told me she loved me. The place she proposed. The place we returned to after our wedding. It holds so many memories for me, but I guess Tim is right. It's just a building. It's just bricks. The memories I have are burnt into my mind and they always will be.
I will always be wherever my wife is, and my wife wants something bigger. Something with more than one level. Something with a yard and a pile of wood that we can chop when the winter sets in. I mean, we picked an awesome place, and I can already imagine exactly how it's going to be once we move in, but yeah…I'm struggling. I'm struggling, but I'll be fine. Eliza is my home and that's all I have to remember. Eliza is my life and if she needs something different…she will always get it.
Me? I'll grin and bear it until the place truly feels like home.
Turning my key in the lock, my heart sinks into my stomach when I catch sight of the stack of boxes waiting to the left of me. My entire life packed up before me, it hurts, but it's a weird hurt. Like, it feels good but I'm trying not to let it. Eliza in the kitchen, she glances up at me and gives me the most adorable smile. "Hey." Closing the door behind me, I kick off my boots in the middle of the room and shrug my jacket from my shoulders. "Something smells good."
"Figured I'd make us some dinner." She smiles as she rounds the counter and wraps her arms around my waist. "You've had a long day."
"I have, but you don't have to prepare dinner. We could have just ordered in." Pressing a kiss to her lips, she moans against my mouth and I pull back. "I missed you today."
"Mm, I know." She agrees. "You always miss me."
"I do." I shrug. "Can't help it if I have the hottest wife in the world, though." Releasing me from her grip, I head to the kitchen and grab a bottle of beer from the refrigerator. "So…"
"So?" She mirrors my words and gives me a sad smile. "You doing okay?"
"Y-Yeah." I wave off her concern. "Did you want anything?"
"No, I'm good thanks." She leans against the kitchen island and studies my face. "You sure you're ready for tomorrow?"
"More than sure." I breathe out. "Just feeling a little strange about it all right now."
"You know, we can ask Tim for a few more days if you need it?"
"No, tomorrow is the day, Eliza." Moving into the living room, she follows me and slumps down on the couch beside me. "I'm ready for this."
"Me too." She smiles. "You know, I love this place just as much as you." Glancing around, she releases a deep sigh. "I'll certainly miss it."
"I'm happy you enjoyed your time here with me." Placing my hand on her thigh, she rests her own over it and laces our fingers together. "God, I remember the first night I invited you over here."
"Yeah?"
"Of course." I nod. "I remember everything about our time together here."
"Tell me…"
"I was a wreck." I laugh. "An absolute wreck, Eliza."
"I made you nervous, huh?" Raising an eyebrow, she gives me a slight smirk and I roll my eyes. "I so did."
"Yeah, I was nervous. I just…I'd thought about how much I wanted to get to know you, and then it was happening…it was happening and I wasn't sure you would like being here. I wasn't sure it was your style or your taste. I wanted to try so hard to make the night perfect for you but I was just a wreck."
"That was the night you asked me to dinner, right? The night after you took me to the roof?"
"It was." I agree. "Then you text me to say you were outside and I thought I was going to die. I wasn't ready. I was actually topless and I knew you were outside the door and it just made me feel even worse. If I could have lied and told you I wasn't home, I think I would have. I just didn't feel good about myself. I didn't think you would go for it at all."
"Yet here we are…and married." She smiles. "I loved my first date with you."
"You did?"
"Yeah, I remember falling asleep on you. Everything just felt so good. So right. I remember not wanting to leave that night but knowing it was the right thing to do." Resting her head on my shoulder, she sighs. "I remember wanting to feel you against me. Like, I was craving it."
"Yeah, I know that feeling." I smile as I place a kiss on her head.
"My favorite night with you when we first met…it has to be the night I came by and you had prepared this room for me. I had a lot of work on, and you wanted me to come by."
"Mm…" I nod slowly. "I loved watching you work that night."
"And I love how that night ended." She giggles. "That was all kinds of hot, Arizona." Yes, how could I ever forget that night? The night she turned up at my door soaked through to the bone. I prepared her a bath and she came out refreshed and looking naturally beautiful. She always looks natural and stunning anyway, but that was the first time I truly saw her in her state of comfort. No stress. No nerves about being together. She was just happy with how everything was and neither of us had a care in the world. Perfect, and beautiful. "I know we had a few bad times here, but I think the good outweighs all of that. Don't you?"
"Definitely, baby." Wrapping my arm around her shoulder, I take a sip from my beer and kick my feet up onto the coffee table. "Our first Christmas was here…" I sigh. "God, I will remember that time for the rest of my life. How we did everything together. How we spent the most amazing Christmas together."
"And we just spent our second one together which was just as amazing." She replies. "I know this is going to be harder for you than it is for me, Arizona, but I'm so thankful that you decided to do this for me. I know you would happily stay here for the rest of your life, and I'd like to think that I'd be happy staying here, too, but I think we need more. We deserve more. This place will always be where it all began for us, but our new home is our future. The start of our future."
"I'm ready." I smile. "I'll be a wreck tomorrow, but I'm so ready."
Waking to the bright spring sunlight beaming through our bedroom window, I smile as my wife turns in my arms but that happiness is quickly subdued with sadness. Sadness for the fact that I'm leaving this place behind today. My life since meeting Eliza has been nothing short of amazing and I know that this is something we have to do, but still…I'm allowed to be sad. I'm allowed to wonder if our new place will ever truly feel like home. This is my home. It always will be in some weird way. Soft fingers running up my naked stomach, they reach the side of my face and my wife turns my head to face her a little better.
"My gorgeous wife is thinking too hard right now." Her voice filled with sleep, I turn my body and face her fully. "But I still love her."
"Yeah?" I whisper as her hand drops to my hip and she draws circles against my skin. "How about you show your wife just how much you still love her?"
A smirk creeping onto her face, she opens her eyes and bites down on her bottom lip. Caressing my thigh, I spread my legs a little and she studies my face. "Why are you always so turned on in the mornings?"
"Because I wake up beside you," I whisper as my lips press against her own. Pushing me onto my back, she straddles my legs and grinds her own naked center down against me. "Mm, and then you do that and send me crazy." I smile as she kisses her way up my body, between my breasts before running her tongue up the side my neck. "And because you are just so amazing that it's hard not to be turned on by you."
"Good answer." She moans as she bites down on my shoulder. Soothing the skin that is turning a little red, she shifts her body down against me fully and rolls her hips. "You always feel amazing in the morning. Like you've been thinking about me all night."
"Because I have." I moan as her arousal meets my stomach. "And it seems like someone has been thinking about me all night, too."
"Whatever gives you that idea?" She asks as her head drops against my shoulder.
"Because you are so wet for me right now…" My words barely above a whisper, she grinds down harder against me and moans. "So wet…that I think I need to taste you."
"Oh God." She freezes.
"Mmhmm…I want you on your back." Scrambling off of me, she jumps from the bed and the bedroom door flies open, hitting the wall as it does. "Eliza?" I furrow my brow and rush out of our bedroom and glance around the almost bare empty space. Hearing her empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet, I push the bathroom door open a little and find her hunched over on her knees. "Baby?"
"Ugh!" She whines as she rests back against the tub. "I'm so sorry, I've just totally killed the mood."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, just don't feel so good right now." Her complexion quite pale right now, I'm a little worried about her. "Give me five and I'll be okay." A slight shiver rippling through her body, I grab her robe from the back of the bathroom door and wrap it around her body before putting my own on. "Thanks." She gives me a half smile.
The realization hitting me, my mouth hangs open and my eyes widen. "Y-You don't think…"
"No, I doubt it." She shakes her head.
"But, you never know…"
"There's no way." She gives me a sad smile. "As much as I'd love it to be true, we aren't that lucky."
"Maybe you should check anyway?" I suggest. "I can leave whilst you do it."
"N-No." She gives me a hard stare. "Stay with me. We're doing this together."
"Okay." I nod. "Want me to get it for you?"
"Please…" She nods as she heaves again. "Ugh!" Grabbing a test from the cabinet, my hands are a little shaky but I can't let her see that. I don't want her to worry about anything if what I think is happening is actually happening. Ripping the packet open, I set it down on the edge of the tub for her and place a kiss on top of her head.
"I'll just be outside, okay? Do what you've got to do and give me a shout when you are ready. I'll just be outside the door." A slight nod from my wife, I back up a little and close the bathroom door behind me. Oh god. My stomach in knots, I pace the hardwood floor beneath me and bring my hands up to my face. What if this is happening? My mind in overdrive, I feel like I've been standing outside for the entire day. I've been out here for what? Five seconds…but it feels like a lifetime. No, she's right. We aren't that lucky. Nobody's that lucky. We were told that when we went to be tested. We were told that Eliza's levels were a little lower than they'd like and that it would probably be a while before anything happened. She has been doing everything right, though. Taking all of the stuff they've asked her to take. I checked it all out first so I knew what she was putting into her body, but yeah…she's been doing everything exactly as they asked.
Trying to remind myself of the last time we were at the clinic, I stop in the middle of the room and if I'm thinking right, it's around six weeks since we were last there. Six weeks. It's perfectly possible. I know I'm only getting my hopes up, but yeah, it's possible. Just think the worst, anything else is a bonus. "ARIZONA!" The sound of my wife's voice pulling me from my thoughts, I straighten out my shoulders and release a deep breath.
Opening the bathroom door, I find my wife sitting back down on the bathroom floor and glancing up at me. "All done?" I ask, nonchalantly.
"Yeah." Shrugging a little, I can see that she is trying not to get her hopes up either. "Will you sit with me?"
Giving her my best genuine smile, I drop down to my knees and she sits forward a little. Coming to rest against the tub behind her, I brush her hair from her face and she settles down between my legs. "You feeling a little better?"
"Yeah, I feel okay now." She sighs. "Sorry about that."
"Don't worry about it." I place a kiss below her ear and wrap my arms around her waist. "So long as you are okay." Watching the test that is sitting on the floor between my wife's legs, I furrow my brow and wonder what the hell is taking so long. Come on. Damn it! Closing my eyes and controlling my breathing, Eliza places her hands over my own and releases a small sigh. Turning my head so my face is in the crook of her neck, I inhale deeply and her scent calms me a little. She is the only thing that ever does calm me if I'm being totally honest. It's always been that way.
Her grip tightening on my hands, I open one eye and try to study her profile. Something is happening. I can feel her nails digging into my skin, so something is definitely happening. Turning my head a little, my eyes find the test that is still sitting on the floor and my heart drops into my stomach. "Oh god." She whispers.
"Oh God!" My own voice much louder than her own, I loosen my grip around her waist and splay my fingers across her stomach. "Hi, Baby." My smile growing by the second, my wife sits in total silence but I'm too caught up in my own mind to really notice. Pulling her back against my body, I place a kiss below her ear and smile against her skin. "I love you, Eliza…" Her breathing calm and soft, she gives me a slight nod and releases a deep sigh before turning her head and facing me, the most adorable smile I've ever seen from her show for me. "...and I'm going to give you and our baby everything in this world."
Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome as always.