Title: Facing the Inevitable

Author: NickyK

Summary: After things go horribly wrong in the diner, Director Shepard decides to live out the rest of her days in seclusion. A different ending for my favorite couple. Please review and enjoy!

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own any of this. Just borrowing.

A/N: JD left me feeling incomplete. In that episode there was no scenes between Jenny and Gibbs, no last minute messages to Gibbs (she didn't know if Franks would make it out of there alive either from my understanding), no nothing. I wanted to give them closure. I apologize in advance for any errors. I hope you enjoy and bare with me please--I'm going for strong emotions in this one and hopefully I can pull it off! Reviews are always welcomed!

Chapter 1

The first time she woke her limbs refused to cooperate. She couldn't see anything but a wall of blackness, but then, she wasn't entirely certain that her eyes were open either. Her entire body felt weighed down and exhausted. Consciousness only lasted mere seconds before she was forced to retreat back into the darkness.

The second time she woke, she could hear machines beeping and muffled voices speaking just beyond her hearing. She tried to pry her eyes open but found, once again, she lacked the energy to do so. She would have given into the panic that surged through her but that also was too much of an effort. She didn't understand why she couldn't move, didn't understand why her body felt so weak and her thoughts were just a jumbled mass of confusion.

She tried to concentrate on opening her eyes to no avail. She whimpered, or at least she thought she did. She really couldn't tell. The voices moved closer, however and warm hands touched her arms. Through the grogginess in her head she heard a voice whisper, tender in its urgings, for her to calm down and rest. Don't fight it, Jennifer, the voice told her and idly she wondered if that was her name. She knew the voice, trusted it enough that she stopped trying to escape the paralysis that held her captive and once again gave into the darkness that always seemed to be lurking in the background.

Ducky sighed, watching carefully to make sure Jenny was indeed sleeping. It surprised him that she had even been alert after the intensive surgery she'd just went through, not to mention the number of drugs pumping through her system. He glanced over at the attending physician, waiting patiently for the man to finish his exam. Dr. Goodman smiled slightly at Ducky as he reached for her chart to record his notes.

"Ms. Shepard is a lucky woman," Dr. Goodman commented.

"Indeed," Ducky agreed, looking down at her still figure.

"She's going to be down for a while, however. As you know, her immune system is already compromised and these wounds haven't helped matters. The surgery was touch and go but she's a fighter, this one," Dr, Goodman noted grimly. "Her current injuries," he continued on a sigh, " will need to heal before she can start the radiation treatments. There's no way she can return to work anytime soon."

"I don't believe returning to work was in her plans," Ducky said quietly, still gazing down at the woman he considered a good friend.

Dr. Goodman frowned. "Had she already made arrangements to begin the treatments?" He consulted his notes. "I spoke with both her physician and oncologist and neither mentioned anything about her starting…."

Ducky shook his head at the man. "No, no that's not what I meant." Ducky paused. " Let's step outside, shall we?"

Dr. Goodman nodded, understanding that the older man didn't want to continue discussing the patient where she could wake up and overhear them. As unlikely as that seemed with all she'd been through, it was still a possibility. Dr. Goodman returned the chart to its station and proceeded Dr. Mallard out the door, waiting for it to close behind them before they began.

Dr. Goodman stuffed his hands into his coat pockets and faced Ducky. "I'm sorry, Dr. Mallard, I guess I don't understand." Although Jenny's ward was nearly empty , Dr. Goodman kept his voice low.

Ducky met the confused doctor's gaze, his voice equally low as he spoke. "Director Shepard hadn't planned on taking the treatments at all, Dr. Goodman."

"Not taking the treatments?" he repeated, still not quite comprehending. Ducky just stared at the man and knew the instant he understood. "My God, but that would mean…" His voice trailed off as his eyes darted through the window, staring incredulously at the woman lying in the bed. front of them. "Dr. Mallard, are you sure? Does she understand the severity of that decision?"

Ducky, too, faced the window, watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she slept. His heart swelled with sorrow at the inevitable.

"Yes," he said finally, answering the doctor's question, " I'm afraid she does."

Jenny awoke hours later feeling much more alert than before. She opened her eyes finding herself in a hospital room and for a moment she was confused as to how she got there. Her gaze swept around the room, a thin beam of light shining through the window in the door illuminated the darkness. A figure sat slouched over in a chair beside her bed. She blinked again, trying to get her eyes to focus more clearly, puzzled to see that it was Dr. Mallard hutched over in the chair. She tried to sit up, only to be stopped by the IV drip in her arm and a jarring pain in her lower abdomen. She gasped; the soft noise loud in the quietness of the room was enough to rise Ducky from his slumber.

The elderly man appeared at her side rather quickly, she thought, considering the awkwardness in which he was resting. Another twinge of pain hit her and she shifted in discomfort.

"Ah, Director, you're awake. How are you feeling, my dear?" asked Ducky, his gentle eyes studying her.

"Not so good," she croaked, her voice low and scratchy.

"Well some discomfort is to be expected. How about some water. Can you raise your head a bit?" he asked, holding a plastic cup with a straw up to her.

Jenny did as he asked taking care not to move too much. Her dry lips covered the straw and she sipped the lukewarm liquid, its wetness soothing her parched throat and mouth. She wet her lips and smiled her thanks to Ducky as she lowered her head wearily back down to the bed. "What happened?" she asked .

Ducky hesitated knowing some memory confusion was normal after being unconscious. "What do you remember?"

"I…," she paused, not sure what she was going to say. Jenny closed her eyes, trying to search her memory. Which was not an easy feat. "I'm not sure. It's foggy." she said. "I remember a funeral. Ziva and Tony were there on detail." She frowned. "I lost them or I….sent them away, I think. It's all very vague."

Ducky patted her hand. "I'm sure it'll come back to you. Just relax and don't push yourself."

Jenny didn't think she could do much else but try to relax. She wasn't feeling her most energetic. In fact she was feeling pretty awful. But something was there, nagging at her, hiding just beyond her reach. She closed her eyes willing the memory to come to her. She knew it was important and was almost positive it had something to do with Jethro. She'd yet to end up in the hospital and not have him be there with her giving her disapproving looks. Unless….

"Jethro!" she exclaimed. Her eyes snapped open and connected with Ducky's. Fear raced through her and she tried once again to rise but this time was stopped by Ducky's firm hands on her shoulders gently pushing her back down onto the bed. "Where's Jethro, Ducky?"

"Jethro's fine. And you have to stop trying to get out of bed. You're going to pull out your stitches."

"Stitches?" she said frowning, trying to place the word in her ever growing sense of dread. Then as if a switch had been turned on in her brain, she remembered.

Her illness.

The funeral.

Sending her detail away.

Calling in Franks.

The diner.

The diner?

Oh my god!

Her hand shot out, gripping Ducky's shirt with surprising strength. Fear laced her words as she spoke. "Where's Jethro, Ducky? Is he safe? Please tell me he's safe?"

"Director, you've got to calm down. You've just went through a very intensive surgery," he said, taking hold of her hands, trying to ease her back down on the bed. "You're going to have a relapse."

Jenny held on, albeit not as tightly. "Ducky please. I need to know he's okay."

"As far as I know, Jethro is fine. He's wrapping up a case. Your case," he informed her.

"My case," she repeated releasing her hold on Ducky.

"Yes. And I'm sure he'll be here at the first opportunity."

"Then he knows," she whispered quietly. She let her hands fall back to the bed.

"Yes, my dear. He knows," confirmed Ducky. From the look he gave her and the tone of his voice, Jenny knew he was referring to more than just the case she was working off the grid.

"Now, you've got to calm down and stay still or I'm afraid I'm going to have the nurse give you a sedative." Ducky warned her sternly.

Jenny nodded, exhausted now that the fear had eased. Still, she didn't want a sedative and she knew Ducky would follow-through with his threat. There were so many unanswered questions rattling around in her head. Where was Jethro now? She knew he would be angry, not only with her but with Mike Franks as well. She wondered how much Franks had told Gibbs. She'd revealed more of herself to Franks in a 24-hour period than she'd revealed to anyone. But Jethro was the reason she did it. She'd put up with Franks' probing questions, had even shrugged away his invasive snooping into her purse, discovering her illness in the process. She'd endured it because…well, because she hadn't expected to come out of that abandoned diner alive. Franks had understood that. He knew what Jenny expected of him; protect Jethro and give him closure if and when he needed it.

Obviously things didn't go as planned, she thought. For one, she was still alive and Jethro was finishing what she'd started. Jenny knew that with her injured on a rogue mission with only Mike Franks as her back-up, Jethro would have demanded a step by step replay from Franks of everything she and he said and did while together. She had no doubt Mike Franks would deliver.

The door opened and Jenny's heart leaped into her throat while she waited for her visitor to be revealed. She felt a rush of relief at the sight of a man in a white coat enter the room. Dealing with Jethro was just not something she could handle right now. Jenny assumed the man was the doctor attending to her, which was confirmed a moment later as he picked up her chart and conferred with Ducky.

He gave her a brief smile. He took a pen out of his pocket and made a note on her chart before turning to her.

"Hello Ms. Shepard." he greeted. "I'm Dr. Goodman. I was your attending when you were brought in." Dr. Goodman leaned over Jenny and shined his light in her eyes quickly before checking her bandages. " It's good to see you awake. You gave us quite a scare. Your vitals look good but you're going to have to take it easy for a while. I'm going to get the nurse to come in and redress your bandages and check your blood pressure. All things considered, you're doing quite well," he told her. "Do you have any questions for me?

Jenny had lots of questions but he wasn't the one she needed to ask. She shook her head, feeling the weariness sneaking back upon her. Dr. Goodman made more notes on her chart, delivered more instructions and left the room. Jenny and Ducky were once again alone. Her eyes were starting to droop but she had one question that she needed answered now.

"Ducky?" she called out weakly.

"I'm here, Director?"

"What am I doing here?" Her voice was low, her strength nearly depleted.

Ducky frowned. "What do you mean?"

Jenny swallowed, fighting to stay awake. "I wasn't suppose to survive. I shouldn't have survived," she whispered vehemently. "So why am I still alive?"

TBC

A/N2: I know the name of Jenny's illness was never clearly stated so I've decided to just make it an advance form of bone cancer. I am not a medical person so all medical references are going to be pretty vague. But I will do as much research as possible to make it believable. Any suggestions/help/advice is welcome but please be nice about it.