Resident evil
A morons story
Disclaimer: I don't own resident evil but I sure as hell want to…
Ch. 1 Leon kills himself and the Redfields + some other guy who does not matter any more…
Leon and Clair drove down the street to the house that they had bought just 20 years ago (even though they were not born and that they had not met because they were not born)
"Leon do you realize that we have been dating for 4 years and this is the only time we have ever been alone with no zombies, or ex-ex-s.t.a.r.s, or b.o.w.s, or evil sexy undercover umbrella researchers who are suppose to be dead but survived because he was infected with the t-virus."
"Don't forget the tyrants and guy who wants revenge on umbrella who is very mysterious."
"Oh ya thanks for reminding me about the tyrants and guy who wants revenge on umbrella who is very mysterious."
" Ya I did realize that and I'm very happy we moved as far away from Chris as possible"
Leon pulls up to a house that says just sold and is about to get out when Chris comes out of the house across the street and walks to the car
"Howdy neighbor."
"Hey Chris we moved ass far away from you ass possible. Asshole."
"Hey bro."
"How do you know my name?"
"You told us moron."
"Oh. Howdy neighbor."
"Leon is that man coming out of our house?"
"He's robbing you two. You should stop him."
Leon stomped on the gas and hit the man as the man was walking across the street to a car.
"Oh shit you hit me with a car."
Leon jumped out of the car
"What were you doing in my house fuck face?"
"That my house your house is next door."
"Sure it is I'll come right back"
Leon then ran to his car and popped the trunk and pulled out a rocket launcher and ran back t the man trapped under the car.
"Oh shit."
"Ok wanta tell me what you were doing in my house now?"
"I'm telling you that's my house and your house is next door."
"Oh really."
" Really ass hole I have the deed to my house."
The man pulled out a document saying the house on 11085 Leon fucks sheep dr. is owned by a George Lucas
"Are you the same George Lucas who made star wars?"
"Are you a fan?"
"Hell no I hate them if I had a rocket launcher I would kill you"
Leon then realized that he did have a rocket launcher a fired at the man and killed him but the explosion blew up the car killing Clair. The car also had some c-4 that blew up and that killed Leon in the explosion and Chris was hit by a part of the trunk that had jagged ends on it and went right into his brain.
The end bitch
You may now Wright reviews but beware I have put a curse on this story whom ever wrights good reviews will have the greatest sex of there lives muhahahahaha…o wait that's a good thing a who gives a fuck…