Snow Terror
It snowed several feet overnight. All of Konoha was covered in a thick blanket of snow, the ice sparkling in the morning sunshine. People walked out their front doors and fell on their asses upon slipping on the ice. And were laughed at. Thus snowball fights started. Anyways, regarding two denizens of the ninja village, Gai and Kakashi went out to play after they woke up. One would think it strange for almost 30 year olds to go out and play in the snow as if they were a third of that age, but we shall assume everyone doesn't judge. Anyways, Gai and Kakashi had awoken around the same time. They were at Gai's apartment, the bedroom decked out in splendid green decor as would be expected from Gai the sexy Green Beast. And what a beast.
They took a long and hot shower together, and added to the steam with a little morning exercise. Then they dressed warmly in several layers, Gai of course wearing his special thermal green spandex suit underneath, and after wrapping scarves around their necks, burst out the door, faces full of glee. The snow was beautiful and white and pure, untouched by anyone. Until now.
First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Gai hit Kakashi in his tongue with a big crunchy iceball. It hurt a lot, but Gai kissed it sexily and then it was all better. Gai always kisses sexily and makes everything better. Why, just ask Rock Lee, Neji, and Tenten. Eyewitnesses claim that they purposely injure themselves just so Gai can kiss it and make it better!
After a while, the pair decided to make a snow man.
"We'll make a really sexy snow man!" Gai said. Anything Gai made would be sexy, of course.
"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Kakashi said. "That would be more enormous and politically correct."
"I know," Gai said. "We can make a snow shark. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."
So they rolled the snow up slowly and made a buttery snow shark. Gai put on an enema for the armpit. God knows where he kept that. The shark was almost as big as Kakashi. "Let's name it Kisame," Gai suggested. "I swear I've heard that name from somewhere, I just don't remember where..." He shook his head. "It looks good and youthful," Gai said quickly. "But it seems like it's missing something." The enema just wasn't enough, apparently.
"Here," Kakashi said and held up a giant Pocky. "I found this in Tenten's bedroom."
Gai raised an eyebrow. "Whatever were you doing in my precious flower's bedroom, my dear rival?" he asked, afraid that maybe his flower would not be a flower any longer.
"Uh, just teaching her some special ninjutsu," Kakashi replied. Dodgy. He put the Pocky onto the shark's head.
It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the shark, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a tiger. A tiger shark. (LOL)
Kakashi screamed orgasmically (and seriously, how else would Kakashi scream?) and ran but the snow shark chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow shark raped him idiotically. Sharks aren't that adept at rapage, apparently. They have these claspers and they just aren't very effective unless the other partner is a female shark.
"Nobody does that to my little Neon Banana," Gai screamed. God knows how he came up with that name. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow shark through the butt cheek. Even Gai can be merciless too. The shark fell down and Gai kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.
"You saved me!" Kakashi said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.
The Pocky lay in the yard until a delightful child picked it up and took it home.