The Kokiri forest gets um well…

The Kokiri forest gets um well…

Link Woke up and rubbed his eyes.  Then he saw Navi flying around annoyingly around his head yelling come on!  Get up!  So Link raised his hand grabbed her and threw her against the wall and saidShut up bitch!  As he got up Navi faintly saidIf I don't get medical attention quick I'm gonna die…  Link just repliedI thought I told you to shut up!  Link got out of his house and started to climb down the ladder and Saria ran torward him and started to rapidly talk and he couldn't understand her, he was about to lash out and hit her, but he just thought, eh, one more week left and she'll pay me for the wonderful sex I gave her, fifty big ones, heh heh heh…  as he grinned to himself, then he just said, oh well, screw it as he slapped her and she flew against the wall.  Link went in back of his house to feed Epona with a  couple carrots to find her fucking another horseEPONA!!!  KNOCK IT OFF!!!  Then realized that was Mido's horse.  So he marched angrily to Mido's house, and right when he came in he saw Mido trying to hang himself.  Mido had a surprised expression on his face making choking sounds so he jumped down from the rope and smiled.  Then he saidYou didn't see anything  in a soothing voice swing a yo-yo like he was trying to hypnotize him.

Link took the yo-yo and through it against the wall as it shattered and yelled that ain't gonna work dumbass!  So Mido went rushing over to the shattered yo-yo and wept.  Link then yelledYour horse got out of his pen and is fucking mine right now as we speak.  Mido looked up with tears in his eyes and punched Link.  You bastard!!!  You broke my only true possession  Link started to laugh and Mido balled his eyes out.  Link Stood up and saidget your fricken horse before I stick my foot so far up your ass you don't know which side is up!  So Mido got up and the first thing he saw when he got outside was Saria smased against his outdoor wall with blood running all the way down her face and he cried some more.  Then when they got to the pen the first thing they saw was Mido's horse mounting Epona and Mido crawled in there to get his horse, the horse just shoved him down and stomped on him to make sure he was dead.  Link laughed an evil laugh and suddenly felt mischievous, so he went and got a bunch of corks and went into the farm with all the cows in it and stuck the corks up their asses, he got kicked a few times, but nothing the hero of Hyrule couldn't handle, plus he was laughing the whole time so that kind of minimized the pain.  Then He Took the sludge hammer to Saria's house roof and made it collapse and he also did this to the twins, the know it all brothers, and the shop.  Then he cut down the Deku scrub.  That night when he tried to sleep he couldn't because Saria was moaning because of the pain when she woke up from being knocked out, The horses neighing in pleasure, the cows moaning in pain cuz they can't go to the bathroom, people rebuilding their roof tops, and Navi whispering in his ear.