The hospital room is silent when Carlisle walks in, Bella propped up in bed with her eyes closed.
"You've been reading again." Carlisle's voice wakes her from her light doze.
She follows his golden gaze to the book on the table next to her bed. "Yes." She confesses freely, sitting up a bit. Carlisle leans over her to help her adjust her pillow, and she studiously ignores how close to his chest her face gets. "Thank you." She smiles when he straightens back up, and he smiles back at her gently.
"Pride and Prejudice. It looks like you've read this one a lot."
"I'm a fan." She admits, taking the book delicately. Even her fingers hurt to move, she's sad to realize. "It's starting to get difficult for me to keep a grasp on books." She says quietly, her fingers trembling and her hands aching.
"I'm sorry, Isabella." Carlisle says quietly, sitting next to her bedside. "I can't increase the dosage any further."
"I understand, doctor." She smiles wanly at him. "I appreciate you giving me this much, to be honest. My head is spinning but I'm still in pain." Bella huffs out a quiet breath. She looks down at the book in her hands, a strange feeling washing over her. "Dr. Cullen?"
"Call me Carlisle." He says gently.
"Carlisle." She looks at him through her lashes, something aching at her chest. "Carlisle," she repeats, and it still somehow sounds strange to her. "Do you believe people can tell when it's… time?"
Carlisle freezes for a moment, then blinks at her slowly. "I do believe that, yes. I've seen it before."
"It scares me." Bella admits quietly. "Do you think I'm a coward?"
"No, Isabella. You certainly aren't."
"And yet it scares me." She repeats, fingers trembling against her book.
"I imagine there's nothing more frightening in the world than imminent death."
"I think it's time, Carlisle." She says softly, looking down at her book. "I can feel it closing in on me."
"That might be the medication."
"No, it's not. It's real, Carlisle. As real as I can feel anything, I feel this. It's time."
Carlisle sits beside her in silence, unbroken except for her slightly harsh breathing.
"Bella." Carlisle breaks the silence, several minutes later, and Bella looks up at him. He looks grim, perhaps even sad, which isn't a good look for someone so pretty.
"Stop that face." Bella chides, voicing her thoughts. "You're too pretty to look so sad."
"And you're too young to sound so old." Carlisle returns, a tiny, pained smile tugging at his lips.
"It's time, Carlisle. I think I've known for a while, but I didn't want to believe it."
"And now you do?"
"No. But now I can't ignore it anymore. I feel it with every breath." She reaches up to touch her chest, Carlisle's gaze following the movement. "It's eating away at me. At my mind. At my spirit."
"Nothing could hurt your spirit, Bella."
"This could."
"Nothing." Carlisle repeats fiercely, taking her hand in his cold one. He draws it close, squeezing it gently.
"I'm tired, Carlisle." Bella admits, tears stinging at her eyes. "I'm so tired. I'm so tired all the time."
"I'm sorry."
"So am I."
"I can't help you. Not any more than I already have." Carlisle's hand twitches, almost shaking but not quite.
"I hate this." A tear slides down her face, followed immediately by two more. The hand pressed to her chest rises up to cup her face, swiping at the dampness. "I hate doing this to you, to Dad, to everyone."
"Bella…" Carlisle starts, trailing off helplessly.
They fall into silence again, broken by the slightly jagged breaths Bella breathes, tears still flowing down her face.
"Bella." Carlisle says suddenly, his voice hardening with determination, and she looks at him questioningly.
"What if this didn't have to be the end?"