AN: Hey all, so I am not usually one to publish, but I had this idea I wanted to put out there. This one starts after The Things We Left Behind. So we know the drill, I don't own Supernatural or the characters, we will see some OC's later on. Hope you enjoy! Thanks.
Sam sat at his usual spot at the table in the library thumbing through what he knew would be another dead end regarding removing the mark of Cain from Dean. The only good that had come from the last blood bath was that Dean seemed calmer; he wasn't nearly as agitated or pent up. Of course Sam couldn't allow himself to be grateful for it but it was nice not having Dean ask him every five minutes if they had a job.
"Hey Sammy, ya want a beer?" Dean called from the kitchen.
"Sure, thanks," Sam replied as he slapped the book he'd been reading closed and slouched back in his chair. He was getting nowhere with this search, but it was impossible for him to give up. Dean walked into the library with a content look on his face as his took a swig of his beer and handed one to Sam.
"What's with the kicked puppy look on your face," Dean questioned as he sat down across from Sam.
"Just another dead end..." Sam told him as he took a long slow sip of his beer and let out a heavy sigh.
"You're really expecting to find something? C'mon man, two people have had this mark in the history of the world, there's no reason for there to be any lore about it... That'd be like staring at a salad bar hoping to find a cheese burger... Speaking of which, I'm getting hungry, wanna go get some dinner?"
Sam simply nodded in reply as he went to put away the book. As he set it on the shelf he couldn't help wondering if Dean actually didn't want to get rid of the mark at all. It's not as though the thought hadn't crossed his mind before but he would think after Dean's little slaughter house act with the loan shark that it might knock some sense into him. He quickly shook off the thought and grabbed his jacket to head out with Dean.
The drive to a nearby diner was silent. Dean tapped his fingers on the steering wheel humming along with some song on the radio. They were about to park on the street when suddenly Castiel appeared in the car. Dean looked in the rearview with a raised eyebrow.
"Hey Cas, I thought you were taking care of Claire..." Dean said after Cas had just sat there with an oddly bewildered look on his face.
"Who?" Castiel asked.
"Um, Claire, you know, your meat suits daughter..." Dean replied glancing over to Sam who shrugged with a confused look of his own.
"Meat what? Where am I? Who are you?" Castiel fired off question after question and Dean quickly pulled the car over slamming it into park and turning around to look at Castiel.
"Cas, are you trying out comedy? Because it's not working for you..." Dean questioned having no idea what the hell was happening.
"Why do you keep calling me Cas?"
"Because it's your name... Jesus what happened to you man?" Dean looked him over and there didn't appear to be any wounds or anything that would suggest that Castiel had been into any trouble.
"I don't know... I don't know anything... I can't remember anything..." Castiel said and the realization began to sink in more for himself that he had no idea who he was. His eyes fell to his hands in his lap, he had no idea what to do, how to act, why he was suddenly with these two men.
"Son of a bitch... Guess we'll start slow. Your name's Castiel... I'm Dean and this is my brother Sammy. We're friends of yours," Dean told him.
"Dean, can I talk to you, uh, in private for a minute..." Sam said as he opened the passenger door to get out. Dean nodded and told Castiel to just wait in the car and the two went to the back of the Impala to talk. "This could be really dangerous. I mean he doesn't even seem to know he's an angel or anything...If he is even still an angel. I mean what if in this amnesia state he just smites somebody accidentally or zaps off some place and freaks out?"
"Sammy, calm down, it's not Cas' nature to just go around smiting people. Besides, if we start freaking out that's gonna freak him out. So we just play it cool, see if we can find out what happened and find a way to get his memory back." Dean told him. "Hell maybe a burger might jog his memory; you know that whole sense memory recall crap..."
"Seriously, you still want to go get dinner... You want to take that guy out into public? He was awkward enough when he did know who he was," Sam said with a very clear bitch face.
"C'mon, there's rabbit food in it for ya..." Dean replied teasingly. To which Sam simply shook his head warning him this probably wouldn't go well. Dean walked back around opening the back door. "Alright Cas, we're gonna get some dinner let's go." Castiel was hesitant a moment but something inside him said he could trust Dean and so he got out of the car and followed him.
They all walked in and a waitress sat them at a booth toward the back. Castiel looked for a moment seeming to try to decide where to sit. Eventually he settled on Dean's side and slid in, and kept sliding until he was practically in Dean's lap.
"Whoa there buddy, we've talked about this Cas... Personal space..." Dean told him giving a light push so there was at least a few inches between them.
"We have?" Castiel questioned looking over apologetically. The waitress came by a few minutes later asking if they were ready to order. Castiel looked uncertain as his glance went down to the menu.
"He'll have a cheeseburger and a coke," Dean said pointing to Castiel. "I'm gonna get a bacon cheeseburger, extra onions and a strawberry shake."
"I'll take a Caesar salad with grilled chicken," Sam told her.
"That's so cute, you order for your boyfriend," the waitress commented with a smile.
"Whoa, hold on a second, it's not like that..." Dean said putting his hands up pushing at the air as if he could push the words she'd just said out of the booth.
"It's okay darlin'... Nothing to be ashamed of," she told him and walked away to put in their order. Sam burst into a fit of laughter and Dean scowled telling him to shut up.
"You know what, I think dinner was a great idea Dean.." Sam remarked still smirking as he took a sip of water.
"I've embarrassed you, haven't I?" Castiel said with a sad look in his blue eyes. Dean looked up at the ceiling running his hand over his face.
"It's not like that Cas... Not your fault... But we're just friends... Not like.." Dean made some lewd motion with his hands. "Benefits friends..."
"I do not understand that reference..." Castiel said and Dean smiled laughing at hearing the familiar phrase. "Why is it funny?"
"Sorry Cas... It's not... I know it's gotta be pretty confusing right now, but we're gonna figure this stuff out alright?" Dean told him and Castiel nodded believing he was sincere. Their order came up quickly and Castiel stared down at his burger he lifted the top bun looking underneath much like a child checking for monsters under their bed. "It's perfectly safe Cas... Just the way you like it. Trust me, this will make you very happy." Castiel gave a small smile and after having seen how Dean took a bite of his burger mimicked the same. Sam held back his laughter as the two looked like a couple of gorged chipmunks.
"Hmm, this does make me very happy," Castiel commented with his mouth still full smiling at Dean.
"See, what'd I tell ya," Dean replied also with his mouth full. Sam kept his gaze to his salad trying not to comment on their horrid manners or the fact the pieces of food were flying every time they spoke with their mouths full. They finished up their meal and the waitress returned asking if they wanted any desserts. "Hell yes, its pie time. I'll take a slice of cherry," Dean told her. She looked to Castiel who nodded saying he would have the same. Sam waived her off saying that he was full. She quickly went off to get the pie ready. "Now this, this is gonna be the best thing ever. I can't even remember what it was like to have pie for the first time. Probably be like having sex for the first time. Trust me, it'll be awesome." Dean told him and Castiel looked very very confused about why pie and sex were being compared.
"It's very pretty..." Castiel commented at the glistening cherries and woven design of the crust that sparkled slightly as it was topped with sugar crystals. He poked at it with his fork a bit.
"Don't play with it, eat it," Dean said as he took a large bite. Castiel ate some but had to admit to himself that he much preferred the burger over the pie but he could see that Dean very much enjoyed the pie and so he imitated the same figuring that this must just be what one does when eating pie. Once they finished and settled the bill they all went back to the car.
"What happens now?" Castiel questioned as they got back into the car.
"We're gonna get back to the bunker and figure out how to get your memory back," Dean told him. Castiel's gaze was slightly withdrawn, Dean could see it clearly that Castiel still had no recollection of anything.
"We'll figure this out Cas. Whatever it takes," Sam said with a reassuring look. Castiel simply nodded, he could tell they genuinely meant what they were saying but he couldn't help thinking this was impossible. They made it back to the bunker quickly and all went inside. Sam immediately went into the library and started searching for spell books for a memory restoration spell.
"What is this place?" Castiel asked looking around as he followed the brothers.
"It's where we live, kinda a base of operations for our work," Dean replied.
"I live here? What sort of work do we do?" Castiel questioned. Dean took a deep breath; this was certainly not going to be an easy night.
"You might want to sit down. This is gonna sound pretty crazy I'm guessing..." Dean began as he pulled out a chair motioning for Castiel to have a seat. Castiel complied and sat waiting for him to continue. "Alright, well here goes..." Dean began relaying high level details of what they did, saving people, killing things, the family business. He paused as he was about to begin on the fact that Castiel was an angel realizing there was so much that had happened over the years that he wasn't certain where to begin or what all to tell Castiel about it.
"And what of me? I help you with these, jobs?" Castiel asked part of him found all of this hard to believe but somewhere inside he could see that Dean was being sincere.
"Well, you're an angel. You were sent from heaven to help us," Dean said and didn't say much further than that. Castiel sat wide eyed with a shocked look on his face. "It's not so crazy, there's a bunch of your kind out there..."
"You're joking... You can't be serious..." Castiel muttered. "From what I can see of myself, I don't look very angelic..." he gazed down at his body examining his own hands. "I must have lied to you or you were misinformed somehow..."
"Sorry Cas, you are the real deal. Maybe we should test out your powers and see if it still works..." Dean pondered and stood up walking into the kitchen. He came back with a carving knife and both Sam and Castiel looked at him as though he was off his rocker. He put the blade to his own arm making a fairly sizable cut and Castiel quickly stood going over to him.
"Dean this is madness! What did you..." Castiel stopped mid-sentence as he noticed that when he took Dean's arm to examine it he instinctively placed a hand over the wound and it healed.
"Well look at that, still an angel!" Dean remarked with a laugh as he went back into the kitchen throwing the knife into the sink.
"That was very dangerous Dean. You could have been hurt badly..." Castiel said in a chastising voice.
"It was just a scratch," Dean told him playing it off.
"Seriously, Cas is right, that was kinda nuts..." Sam commented as his gaze went back to the book he'd been reading.
"Everything worked out, no need to get your panties in a knot," Dean told them.
"I'm not wearing panties Dean..." Castiel replied still looking at him with some concern.
"Alright alright, maybe it was a little overboard, but it worked right? We know you're still an angel. So that's that. Let's get to work on getting your memory back," Dean said as he grabbed a book from the pile that Sam had on the table.
Castiel sat and an unsettled look remained in his eyes but he took a book, not certain what he was really looking for but started to thumb through the pages only to find apparently he was quite an excellent reader, what would have taken the brothers' hours to read he could sift through in just minutes. Soon there was a stack of already read books next to Castiel. He stopped and stared at a particular page for some time.
"You found something?" Sam questioned noticing the long pause the Castiel was taking. Castiel nodded turning the book toward Sam. "Okay, so purifying a blocked mind... Says here that in order to restore a blocked memory it needs to be purified of whatever is messing with it. And this ingredient list... I don't even know if some of this stuff exists..."
"What're you talkin' about Sammy? All the shit we've seen and you're actually wondering if something exists? It's got to," Dean remarked as he pulled the book from Sam's hand. "Okay so what do we got here... Seriously, what the hell is this list... A Pegasus feather? Blood of a virgin? Scale from a white dragon? Phoenix ash? Fairy dust? Son of a bitch fairies again?"
"Dean, it would seem that I perhaps cannot regain my memory..." Castiel said with a sigh.
"No, no way, we're getting you back up to full speed here. We'll find this stuff..." Dean told him adamantly.
"Where are we even going to start with this list?" Sam questioned as he ran his hands through his hair.
"The virgin I guess, gotta be the easiest thing on the list right?" Dean commented with a shrug.
"How do you figure? How do you even find a virgin? I mean you'd need a dragon's sense to..." Sam started and stopped himself. "That's it, we start with the dragon. They usually like collecting virgins..."
"Two birds with one stone, so there we go, we'll start on this white dragon," Dean said as he went and got a few beers out of the fridge. Castiel looked at the bottle that Dean set down in front of him.
"Do angels drink alcohol?" Castiel questioned uncertainly as he read the label.
"Oh I don't know about all of 'em but you apparently drank a liquor store once," Dean told him with an impressed looking gaze.
"I'm not certain if that is something that I should be proud of..." Castiel remarked but took a sip of the beer anyways.
The three stayed up into the middle of the night. Sam and Castiel were researching the dragon and Dean was distracted with virgin "research". Sam and Castiel would look over at Dean once in a while as he stared with a grin at his laptop.
"Are you really doing any research or are you sitting there watching muted porn?" Sam accused pulling a face.
"What? I'm doing very important research here... Very... Important..." he said as his head began to tilt and he stared at the screen. "How do you even..." Castiel looked at Dean curiously and walked over to see what it was that Dean was looking at. Before he could get there Dean slapped the laptop shut. "Enough about my research what about you two? Whatcha got?" Castiel eyed him suspiciously but went back to sit down.
"Well while you were sitting there doing God knows what... We think we found a white dragon sighting. It's from about fifteen years ago, but it's the only one we've been able to find." Sam said as he turned his laptop to Dean for him to take a look at the article.
"Fifteen years? The thing could be anywhere by now..." Dean muttered as he read.
"Not necessarily. According to what I've been reading dragons actually like to remain for long periods of time in the same area. They enjoy accumulating their treasures in the same place and since it seems that not many actually believe in dragons they are fairly safe to do so in the past few centuries." Castiel said.
"Alright, so I guess we get some shut eye and head out to...Seriously... Michigan?... Why would a dragon go to Michigan, aren't they just big lizards? Why not Florida or someplace warm..." Dean groused but the real problem was that he knew Lisa and Ben were still living in Battlecreek...
"Sorry you don't get a Bay Watch day," Sam said as he rolled his eyes not even thinking about the whole Lisa thing. Dean gave a slight snicker mumbling better luck next time and wandered off to go to bed.
"Where do I sleep? Do I sleep?" Castiel asked Sam.
"Well I don't think you do sleep but there are a few extra rooms if you wanna just relax until we have to go," Sam told him and showed him to one of the rooms then went to go to his own.
Castiel closed the door behind himself and stood a while examining the room. It was fairly plain only a bed and a dresser. He walked to one door opening it and found an empty closet. He moved on to the other door which was to a bathroom. He closed that door and sat down on the bed. In the silence as he waited he wondered if every night was this long. Remaining alone and awake while the others slept. What a miserable time of existence this was. But maybe if he got his memories back he would be able to look back fondly in these quiet moments. Right now with an empty head he was beyond restless, sitting in this room was like some sort of torture. He got up, walking out into the library and was surprised to see Dean sitting staring off into space with a glass in his hand and a bottle of Johnnie Walker beside him.
"Couldn't sleep huh?" Dean said without looking over at him.
"Apparently I don't sleep Dean..." Castiel replied as he came closer and could see the oddly distant look in Dean's eyes.
"Go grab a glass, don't make me drink this alone," Dean said and allowed a small smirk as he looked over at Castiel who went into the kitchen, found another glass sitting on the counter and came back. Dean poured the whisky into Castiel's glass and more into his own.
"Something is bothering you Dean?" Castiel questioned as he took a sip from the glass and stared at the golden liquid that sparkled in the etching on the glass.
"Nothin', just can't seem to get back to anywhere near normal... And I'm not talking most people's normal... I'm just saying, if all we had to worry about was gankin' some vamps or whatever life would be so much simpler... But if I'm being honest it's never been that simple anyhow... Destined for a shit show since, hell, for generations... Don't mean I'm not gonna see it through, because I'm on this train til the last stop... Just need for something to work out for once... We gotta get your memories back..." Dean rambled on for a while. Clearly once he'd heard everyone else go to bed he'd gotten up and started drinking, heavily.
"I'm sorry I've caused you trouble Dean..." Castiel said with a frown taking another sip of the whisky.
"Cas, no, that's not it. You're not trouble. I...well...let's just say I'm fond of you Cas. Just want you back to bein' you is all. I know I'm not making sense here, so don't listen to me..." Dean said as he let out a heavy sigh as he sat back in his chair staring at the ceiling. "There's a lotta times I wouldn'ta made it through if you hadn't been around... This's gotta work..." Dean's slurred speech gave Castiel some concern he could see there was much more going on in Dean's head than he would allow to come out, which was most likely why he was rambling so much.
"Dean, I believe that you should probably try to sleep. According to the map that Sam showed me we will have about fourteen hours of driving ahead... You will need your rest," Castiel told him. Dean huffed slightly but nodded in agreement. "If you would like I can watch over you..." Dean raised an eyebrow looking over at Castiel.
"Suit yourself," Dean told him as he stood up blinking a few times and shaking his head. The whisky caught up when he stood up and he almost fell back in his chair.
Castiel put an arm around him and helped him down the hall and to his room. Dean got out of Castiel's hold and let himself fall face first onto the bed. Castiel shook his head and pulled the blanket from the end of the bed quietly putting it over Dean. Dean had already passed out; Castiel ran a hand gently over his hair and gently smoothed the blanket over Dean's shoulders. Then he pulled a chair from across the room so that he could sit next to the bed and watch over him. Somehow this was enough purpose to quell the unrest he'd felt at just sitting in the other room by himself. Watching over Dean gave him a sort of purpose, or at least made him feel as such.
Dean woke a few hours later and buried his head in his pillow. He'd over-done it a bit with the whisky. He took a bleary glance around and was met with Castiel sitting directly next to his bed. He blinked a few times just to make sure he was actually awake.
"What are you doing Cas?" Dean mumbled from his pillow.
"You said I could watch over you," Castiel replied.
"Well I need to hit the shower and I don't need you watching over that, go check on Sammy, I'll be out in a while..." Dean told him still attempting to will enough spirit to bring his head more than a couple inches from his pillow.
"Alright Dean," Castiel said with a nod as he rose from the chair and left the room. As soon as Castiel was out of the room Dean rolled himself over with a groan and stalked slowly to the shower. He peeled himself out of his clothes and ran the hot water for a minute before getting in. He let the hot water run over his head trying to figure out why he would have ever told Castiel that he could stay and watch over him. He tried to just shake it off and hoped that nothing had happened the previous night.
Castiel came out into the kitchen and found Sam making himself a cup of coffee. Sam held up a cup offering one to Castiel and he declined the offer. Sam shrugged and walked out of the kitchen and into the library and sat flipping open his laptop to get together the final details on their trip. Castiel watched and Sam gave a curious look.
"Everything okay Cas?" Sam questioned.
"Yes, it will just be nice to not be so confused, or at least I hope to not be so confused when my memory is returned," Castiel told him as he took a seat at the table.
"Confused about what?" Sam knew that without any memories things must be difficult but the look in Castiel's eyes seemed to be something deeper than just missing memories.
"I'm wondering what sort of relationship Dean and I have... I get this odd feeling around him..." Castiel admitted.
"Well so far as I know you guys are friends... But what exactly do you mean by an odd feeling?" Sam asked trying his best not to let a laugh escape his lips debating if it was some sort of romantic feeling.
"I can't really explain it completely. I feel as though I have to watch over him. It's as though I worry at any moment he might do something foolish, like he did when he cut himself yesterday..." Castiel told him.
"Well he is a big idiot so that's not surprising..." Sam joked, Castiel's brow furrowed in response. "I'm kidding, but sometimes he can be pretty reckless, so I get why you feel protective. But are you sure it's not anything more?"
"More,? What do you mean by that, exactly?" Castiel asked with a confused gaze. Dean rounded the corner and Sam clammed up.
"Nothing, nevermind," Sam said quickly and went back to sipping his coffee and staring at his laptop.
"Do you feel better Dean?" Castiel asked as he saw him coming in looking much more alive than the last time he'd seen him.
"Huh? Oh, yeah I'm fine Cas," Dean replied with a laugh as he got a cup of coffee and came into the library and sat with them. Castiel's eyes remained on him questioningly. "C'mon Cas, it's not the first time I got drunk and sure won't be the last."
"It can't be healthy Dean. You should be careful," Castiel said in an almost scolding tone.
"Now hold on a second there mother hen... I'm perfectly fine, so let's not go acting like my liver is going to fall out of my ear or something..." Dean told him and took a long sip of his coffee.
"That would be physically impossible Dean..." Castiel replied giving a look of concern about Dean's knowledge of human anatomy.
"Jesus Cas, we gotta get you back to normal, at least you were starting to pick up on sarcasm before..." Dean muttered.
"Alright you love birds, why don't we get on the road," Sam quipped quickly as he closed his laptop and went to put his cup in the sink.
"Love birds?" Dean and Castiel said in unison.
"Yeah, you guys are like a married couple..." Sam said as he grabbed his jacket.
"Ah shuddup," Dean said and put his cup in the kitchen and they all got ready to leave. They all went out to the Impala getting in and Dean quickly pulled the car onto the road.