Welcome to my first new Degrassi story for the new year The Gamblers Heart this story has been in my plot book for a while and I thought it was the right for it.
This story does not have solid slot on my schedule as far as updates hence why I'm going to be flexible with this stories updates for the first couple chapters but I hope you stick with me I promise you wont regret it I do recommend for both new and returning that you alert this story to keep up also check out Degrassi Saviors. Com for an updated schedule.
Disclaimer I don't own Degrassi all characters belong to respective owners I only own the plot original characters and MMA team name.
Here are a few notes to keep in mind:
This is a Clare/Bianca story
Clare is a Junior
Bianca is living with Fiona and Imogen she has been living with them for four months since her aunt moved away in mid July.
Fiona and Imogen are engaged and living together Imogen moved from her dads house to Fiona's in August with Natalie's blessing.
Bianca dated Owen during the summer but they broke up just before school started and are still friends, she never dated Drew but they are friends
I took creative license with a few ships.
Drew is engaged to Katie since the end of junior year she never dated Jake the rest will be explained in story this starts the first week of October
A/n All long stories that were suspended are scheduled to resume this week.
Chapter 1 Hiding the Real Me
Clare Edwards was your typical high school junior she came from a fairly normal home her mother Helen divorced her father shortly after her sophomore year of high school and she ended up married to an old friend of the family.
Glen Martin was a contractor the Edwards family had known for a while shortly after Helen's divorce she began dating Glen and in what seemed like a whirlwind romance Helen married Glen which also meant Glen's son Jake had become Clare's stepbrother.
It took Clare a while to get used to the idea of her mother being remarried but she eventually came to accept her new family dynamic with her father now in Seattle with his new wife and a new step father she learned to just roll with the punches and move on.
To people who knew Clare they saw a put together overachieving straight A writer but that perception of Clare was the one she wanted everyone to see in reality Clare was a distraught mess who didn't know who she was anymore all because a well hidden secret that she had kept since the end of last year, that secret was that Eli no longer held the key to her heart in fact Clare had come to the realization that no guy would ever hold the key to her heart again that key now belonged to one Bianca DeSousa.
Clare didn't know how it happened but she had fallen head over heels for the raven hair dancer turned fighter but there were two problems one to Clare's knowledge Bianca was straight and she still had Eli to deal with and to be honest she didn't know how she would break up with Eli and deal with certain backlash that would come forget the fact that if she did manage to get Eli out of the way she still had the bigger problem of having to come out to her deeply devoted Christian mother which was going to be a monumental task.
Clare had gone back and fourth on how she was going to handle the situation of coming out as whole and to be honest she was leaning towards just trying to forget the whole and go on living a lie after all she thought life would be easier even if she did have to lie to herself to make that happen.
Since Helen and Glen were out until Friday night and Jake was out with Mo and would most likely be staying over it would give Clare some time to get her thoughts together.
Clare had been doing a lot of research on how to come out by reading blogs and articles on the subject she had even decided to watch a few documentaries on the subject online.
Since it was still early and she had already eaten dinner Clare decided to go through another set of blogs she had been going through blogs for a few months now and each told of different reactions people had received ranging from parents who already knew and were waiting for their children to come out to parents who were devastated by the news and either sent their children to "straight camps" or just tossed them out on the street all together.
After two hours of combing through blogs Clare came across one blog about a teenage girl who grew up in a Christian family much like Clare's who had come out to her family and been thrown out and forced to fend for herself on the streets until she was adopted by her best friends family which turned out to be good for her because with their help she was able to get away from her parents and live her life the way she wanted and more importantly she no longer had to hide who she was.
After reading the blog Clare came across an online link to a documentary about coming out which dealt with a girl who lived in Edmonton who hid the fact she was a lesbian from her parents until just before the start of senior year in high school she had been with her girlfriend since Sophomore year of high school but she hid the relationship from her parents up until senior year when the girls girlfriend helped her find the courage to come out and go chase their dreams together in New York.
At the end of the video there was a small message in the end credits which read "The journey to happiness starts with one single step."
After seeing that quote something in Clare just clicked she decided that the only way she could truly begin her journey to happiness was to come out.
After finishing the documentary Clare decided that she needed to take the first step in her plan to truly be free which was breaking up with Eli no matter how painful that conversation was going to be it was one that needed to be had for Clare to be able to begin the journey to uncovering her true self.
As she walked into her bedroom she laid in bed thinking to herself how this was one of the last nights she would be living with this mask of lies.
The next morning Clare woke up feeling different she couldn't explain it she felt like today was the start of the rest of her life, she had awoke at 7 like she did on any normal school made her bed and took her morning shower and decided to make herself Eggs and bacon for breakfast.
Since it wasn't too cold out Clare wore a pair of black jeans with a purple long sleeve sweater and black boots.
After enjoying her breakfast Clare gathered up her bag and keys locked the door and headed off, she decided to walk alone today instead of walking with Alli and Jenna to mentally prepare for the storm she was going to create which in truth made her a bit uneasy and the only thing keeping her from backing out of her plan was thinking about the big picture goal this mornings events were supposed to help her accomplish.
When Clare finally made it to Degrassi she noticed Alli Jenna Eli and Adam hanging in front of the school steps she found it odd that the Becky was not with Adam those two had been on the fast track to a relationship at least as far as she knew but than again Clare was never one to meddle in Adams love life.
As she walked over to the group by the steps she was greeted by Jenna and Alli who were the first to notice Clare's presence.
"Hey Clare." Jenna and Alli greeted in unison.
"Hey guys could you give me a sec I need to talk to Eli."
"No problem Clare but let me snap them out of their comic haze their something you should know." Jenna said happily as she walked over to Adam tapped him on the shoulder and abducted his lips.
"Hey Marie no fair you agreed not to do that during morning comic time." Adam whined as Jenna pulled away also causing Eli to look up.
Adam was the one of the few people that she allowed to use her middle name which to her sounded sweet when he said it.
"I said no such thing and I needed a sure fire way to get your attention".
"Hey Edwards when did you get here?" Eli greeted.
"Just a bit ago listen we need to talk for a sec but first I need to find out what just happened between my best friend and one of my closest female friends."
No problem Ill just finish my comic here."
"Clare I'd like you to meet my boyfriend Adam Torres."
"When did this happen I thought Adam was going to end up with Becky?"
"To answer your question Clare I was never I was never going after Becky my eye had always been on Jenna we just kept it quiet for the past three months."
"Wow well congrats guys now if you'll excuse me I have to talk to Eli."
"Eli would you mind sitting by the tables to talk?"
"Of course not blue eyes lead the way."
As Clare and Eli made the short trip to the tables Clare was starting stress and rethink her actions, after a few short breaths she was able to sit down across from Eli.
"So Clare whats up?"
"Well Eli there's no easy way to say this so I'm going to just say it."
"Clare what are you trying to say?"
"Eli we need to break up."
Eli was incensed at Clare's statement but had enough composure left to try to convince Clare to stay with him.
"Clare why do you want to break up was it something I did or said?"
"No Eli it wasn't you its me."
"What do you mean Clare?"
"Eli as hard as this is to believe for you I don't have the same feelings I once did I hope you'll understand." Clare said as she stood up preparing to walk away but just before she could leave Eli got up and pushed her against the table.
"Tell me Clare who are you cheating on me with?" Eli snarled as he grabbed Clare by the neck.
"Eli this is wrong stop it you're hurting me."
"Tell me who it is bitch."
Clare cried as Eli released his grip on Clare's neck and slapped her.
"Eli all I'm going to tell you is that I feel for a girl it wasn't something you did it just happened."
"You feel for a girl and you want to leave me then fine leave me you bitch but I swear if I see you with her or find out who she is I will make your life hell." Eli snapped.
"Oh but before I leave here's something to remember me by.
Eli took his skull ring from his pocket put it on his right hand and punched Clare in the face causing a cut to open up as she feel to the ground.
"Oh and you can have this too."
Eli kicked Clare right in the ribs.
No one happen to see Clare fall because the bell rang and students rushed inside so Clare held her side attempting to get up only after Eli left.
Once Clare was inside she ran to the girls washroom to rinse her lip check on her ribs and clean her face luckily for her since the period had just started the washroom was empty so she would be able to avoid anyone seeing her and asking questions.
With her minor injuries taken care of Clare lifted her shirt and checked her ribs she noticed that she had a black and blue forming not to mention a stinging feeling in her side hopefully it was just bruised ribs and she could ice them down later she couldn't deal with the million questions that would her way if she actually had broken ribs.
After fixing herself Clare made her way to her first class which was journalism as she walked in she noticed Ms Oh wasn't in the room and the class was being run by a sub, she signed the attendance sheet and got her assignment out which was an article on how the media uses subliminal messaging in advertising.
Since this was an elective course Clare didn't have Jenna Alli Connor around til next period when they all met up for math.
Clare tried to concentrate on writing her essay but the pain in her ribs was too much she asked to be excused from so she could go to the nurse, the sub just let her go seeing as their was only ten minutes left in class to begin with.
Clare gathered her things and made her way to the nurse.
Once she got there Clare explained she had fallen on her way to school and bruised her ribs the nurse gave her a mild pain reliever and sent her off to class.
As Clare made her way to her next class she ran into Eli who cornered her by a row of lockers.
"Hey freak how are you after our chat?" Eli snapped.
"Eli leave me alone."
"Oh Clare you dump me because you say you've got feelings for a girl well if you think I'm going to leave you alone you're stupider than I thought."
Eli I mean it leave me alone or Ill.."
"You'll what tell Simpson and risk being outed I don't think you want Helen finding out that you are a lesbian do you, after all your mom is religious and it would crush her to know that her daughter is turning her back on her morals."
Clare didn't know what to say she knew as vile as Eli was acting he did have a valid point Helen would flip if she found out from the school Clare was a lesbian.
"Eli even you wouldn't out me to my mother would you?"
"Clare you should know me better than that I want to enjoy toying with it's too much fun knowing I alone could make your life hell as payback for leaving me, so for now Ill leave you alone but know Ill be watching you." Eli said as he walked past Clare looked back and smiled evilly.
After her encounter with Eli Clare couldn't stand being at school she had to get out and go somewhere she could be away from Eli.
Clare noticed that he next class was already fifteen minutes in she knew if she wanted to get away but not fall behind in class she had to convince Adam to cover for her the rest of the day, she sent him a quick text to meet her by her locker and waited for a response she made sure to be as vague as possible with the details.
A few minutes later Clare got her response from Adam saying he would meet her.
When Adam finally showed up he saw Clare looked shaken.
"Hey whats up why aren't you in class?"
"Adam listen I can't be here right now I have a lot on my plate can I trust you to hand my assignments in and take good notes I have to get out of here."
"Clare whats going on this isn't you?"
"Adam just do this for me please I need to clear my head." Clare said starting to get nervous.
"Ill do whatever you need but can I at know whats going on here?"
"I wish I could tell you Adam but I cant not now."
Alright whatever this is must be big just give me your stuff and Ill hand it in go get your head straight."
"Ill try thanks I owe you." Clare said as she handed Adam her assignments gave him a hug and headed for her locker.
Clare grabbed her stuff and took the back way out of the school once she was outside she walked down a block away from the school and tried to think of somewhere she could go she thought of going to the ravine but didn't want to risk anything crazy happening to her so she settled on heading for the Dot it should be fairly empty now since the breakfast rush had to have cleared by now.
As Clare walked toward the Dot she thought about what happen to her over the past couple of days and wondered if everything she was putting herself through would end up being worth it than she thought of all the documentaries she had seen where each one said no matter how hard the road seemed at first it would all be worth it in the end.
Clare walked into the Dot and ordered a peppermint tea to calm her nerves as she waited for her order she noticed an unexpected guest walk in it was none other than Emma Nelson.
Clare had heard about Emma still being in the area but didn't know how often she was around after picking up her tea Clare headed over to Emma who had sat down to read the paper.
"Excuse me Emma?"
"Yes can I help you?"
"Well I don't know if remember me but I'm Clare Edwards Darcy's sister."
"Yeah I remember you shouldn't you be in class right now?"
"I should but I'm not I can't handle school right now."
"Anything you wanna talk about?"
"Actually yeah but I don't want to dump my problems on you."
"Forget it I'm all ears."
"Alright well I was dating this guy and things were going great but over he last few months I felt like we just didn't click anymore and he wasn't who I wanted so I broke up with him and he hit me but the worse part is I like someone else and I wont be able to tell them because of all the problems it'll cause at home and all the problems its already caused me at Degrassi."
"Well Clare you did the right thing by walking away from that relationship but just out of curiosity why cant you talk to your new crush?"
"Well for one my crush is a girl and even if something were to happen between us my mom would flip since shes super religious and two if I get turned down by my crush Ill never be able to show my face at Degrassi again because my ex will out me and make my life hell."
"Well if you ever need someone to talk to you have me as well as Spinner I married him a while back and we live not to far from here take our numbers and call us anytime you need us no matter how late it is."
Clare stored both numbers in her phone just as she sipped on her tea.
Clare don't be afraid to be yourself I think what you did was brave but you should report your ex for hitting you."
"I cant do that Emma he threaten to out me if I did."
"Clare don't worry if you decide to report him Ill back you up now finish your tea you spend the day with me at my job I work at the nature reserve office downtown Ill take care of school for you."
"Thanks Emma this means a lot."
"No problem Clare I've seen first hand how hard coming out can be."
After Clare finished her drink she followed Emma out and for the first time all day she felt like the gamble she was taking was worth it.