From the beginning we were fated to be together, I was just too young and dumb to realize it. By the time it all clicked for me it was too late, I had lost her, her love, her friendship, her smile, her laugh and her infectious giggles, and the never ending cheering she did for me. I had lost my best friend. There was no talking her into coming back this time. I had run out of chances, I guess I never took her threats of leaving my life seriously because she always came back regardless of how badly I fucked up.
So when she walked into the SAMCRO clubhouse I was in total shock. I had No idea how to act or where to look. She looked better than she did when I saw her at our high school graduation. Her hair was longer and darker, her skin a deeper caramel color. Her eyes, still grey and stunning. Her lips, full and painted a deep red color. Her left arm was fully covered with tattoos. It wasn't until one of my brother's wrapped his arms around her that I stopped checking her out and retreated to the back of the clubhouse. Jealousy and confusion pulsing thru me.
I first met Brianna in September of our freshman year of high school. She sat all alone in the corner of the cafeteria, her face buried in a book. The first time we made eye contact I nearly ate shit. Those stunning grey eyes, they were something I had never seen before. She looked away fast, her attention back down. I mustered up what little confidence I had and made my way to her. Before I even had the chance to speak she introduced herself.
"I'm Brianna."
Her voice shocked me. It was low and sensual. A bit raspy. All in a sexy way. Her tone gave way to a accent that sounded foreign, maybe Serbian, possibly Russian. I loved it. I wanted to hear her speak for days.
I managed to introduce myself. "I'm Juan Carlos." I stuttered out. Mentally slapping myself. "Can I sit here?" Her grey eyes scanned me, I suddenly felt a wave of self-consciousness course thru me.
"Ok." She said, her voice barely above a whisper. I sat down and was hit with the most amazing scent. It was a sweetness mixed with the way the air smelled after a storm. It had me hooked. I needed to be close, as close as she would allow me to be.
"Juice!" I heard Happy's deep voice on the other side of my door. I tried to ignore him when he started pounding on the door. He was the last person I wanted to talk to, let alone be around. I pushed off my bed, and stomped over to the door and yanked it open with force, causing Happy to stumble in.
"Yeah?" I huffed, hoping to hide the irritation I was feeling within. He towered over me and I shifted uncomfortably in my work boots.
"Church." He growled and I had to take a step back.
"Who is your friend?" I dared to ask him. My eyes focused on my shoe laces.
"Brianna, I met her when I went to visit my ma and aunt." He said with a shrug and stalked out of my room, slamming the door behind him. I stood there, looking at the door.
She lived in California? She was close to me. When did she move out here? Last time we talked it wasn't the most pleasant conversation.
"What the fuck Juan!?" Her voice was trembling, her accent was thick. Her bright grey eyes were now dark as an abyss. She looked thru me instead of at me. Like she was possessed, she wasn't herself and I was the reason why.
I walked out my room, dragging my feet all the way to church. My mind was spinning to much to even contemplate hearing the club's issues or voting. My thoughts were on her and her alone. I saw her perched at the corner of the bar, sipping a beer. She always picked the corner seats. It used to drive me insane.
When I sat at the redwood table, all the voices were dull and distant, as memories flooded back to me. I tried to shake them out with a few quick jolts of my head, no such luck.
"I'm sorry Bri!" I was crying. Tears ran hot down my cheeks as I watched the love of my life collapse to the ground in body shaking sobs. I moved to soothe her and she shoved me away. Her face was twisted in pain and anger.
"You ok Juice?" Once again I was brought back to reality as I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked and saw it was Jax.
"Yeah, brother I'm good." I lied. Of course I wasn't good. The love I ruined so many years ago, was here and with Happy. Out of all people she had found a friend of mine to get involved with. I walked out behind Jax, trying to avoid the bar.
"Juicy boy!" Chib's shouted, a joint hanging from his lips. I walked over, trying not to draw her attention. I wasn't ready to face her just yet.
Uh oh. I was staring and she had caught me. Her eyes narrowed at me. As if she was trying to figure out who I was and if we knew each other. Then as if a light went on, her face grew bright and she smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back at her.
"Juan." Her voice was still low and sensual as she sauntered her way over to me, Happy right behind her. "It's me! Bri!" She threw her arms around my neck. Her scent hit me hard and I melted into her.
"Juice." I pushed her away and her face twisted in confusion. "I go by Juice now." I lifted my beer to her. Feeling the need to be an asshole and scare her off.
"You know him?!" Happy's voice was low and gravely.
"Yeah! From high school." She mewed. Her arms wrapping around his waist. Anger boiled in my veins as she rested her head against his chest. "Small ass world." She smiled and let him guide her away from me. Leaving me to my thoughts and memories once again.
"Get out!" Her voice was suddenly calm. It was eerie. She seemed to be in a whole new mindset as she pointed to the door. I retreated, not wanting to hurt her further. It wasn't until I was making my way down the stairs that I heard shit start breaking. I wanted to go back in and hold her, to keep her from hurting herself, from breaking down any further. But I knew if I went back, it would only make things worse.
Her laughed brought me back this time. I looked over and she was bent over the pool table, Happy behind her, helping her line up a shot. She was hustling him, from what I remembered she was a better pool player then myself, which is saying a lot since I made most of my money hustling pool.
"Happy!" She squealed, hopping away from him.
I shifted in my seat. The jealousy rising every second I saw them together. She should have been playing pool and laughing with me. Not with him. He was too old for her anyways.
Whoa, this jealous shit is hitting me hard. I watched their interaction. The way he was rough with her, but she held her own. I don't remember that trait. She used to be unsure and skittish. It was a sexy sight to see. Her standing up to him.
She looked my way and I turned my head so fast, I swear I got whiplash. When I turned back, she was approaching me. Her hips swaying back and forth damn, when did she get those curves?
"Juice." Her voice, it softened me. I looked at her then over her shoulder. Happy's eyes boring holes into my skulls. I shuddered and looked back at her. "You gonna ignore me?" She smacked me in my gut.
"No." I stated glaring at her. "We should talk, in private." I hopped off my stool and grabbed her arm, leading her to the doors of the clubhouse. I noticed her giving Happy a small wave before we exited. That made me upset.
"Ow." She yelped and I loosened my grip. Not even realizing it was tight.
"Fuck," I ran a hand over my head. "I'm sorry Brianna." I felt a rush of insecurity flow thru me once again.
"It's fine, Juan." Her accent, she still had it and I fucking loved it. She pushed hair behind her right ear. Revealing a shaved side. I wanted to touch it. "Long time no see."
"Yeah. Really long time." I took a seat and pulled her down next to me. Just so I could breathe her in. "How'd you end up here?"
"Happy brought me here." Her voice was lively and playful. I shot her a look and she smiled.
"In Cali Bri." I needed and wanted an answer. I desperately needed an answer.
"Work, landed a residency in Oakland." Wow, she was a fucking doctor and here i was, a fucking criminal. "Plastic surgery." I nodded and stared at the ground.
"Dr. Hohrykova." I said, more to myself then to her. I was deeply proud and impressed with her in this moment. Happy her life was turning out the way she always dreamed it would be.
"Yeah. Dr. Hohrykova is a mouth full. I go by Dr. H." Her voice was melodic. "So, you ran away from life and became a biker?"
"Yeah." I said. "Intelligence officer." I never really knew how dumb that sounded until I spoke the words to her.
"Geeky biker. That's something new." Her face twisted into concentration. "I'm gonna be honest this is really weird."
"Why?" I asked already knowing the answer. She still remembered all the shit He put her thru.
"Because I'm here with your 'brother'."
"How long have you been with him?" I asked hoping it wasn't long, on the account I had seen him take countless crow eaters to his room.
"Not long, exclusive since last night." She smiled and ran a fingernail across her long eyelashes. "I know about all his indiscretions. So don't bad mouth him, alright?" Her voice was stern as she looked me in the eyes.
"I still love you." I blurted, wasn't my smoothest line but it was the truth. That was all I had.
"I don't doubt that, but I've moved on. I still have love for you, but I will never forget the shit you put me thru Juan Carlos. That shit cut me deep. So deep I ended up hitting the bottles, getting all fucked up and numb, just so I could get you from under my skin. I don't think you fully realize how all that shit wrecked me. I wanted to stay with you, believe that. I couldn't be a victim anymore, I let you get away with too damn much. I blamed myself for that night. Couldn't sleep in my room for weeks, it took weeks to get rid of every trace of you. Now you're in front of me and I really want to strangle you and I want you to hurt but I'm just gonna say thank you. That night made me stronger."
I sat there, mouth open. In shock. In awe. In disbelief. She thanked me. "It wasn't your fault, I fucking regret that shit. I regret everything. I'm so so sorry. I shouldn't have left it like that."
"It's cool, we were young and dumb, thought what we had would last forever. We had amazing times together, I'll always remember that, but I'll remember the bad shit more. We're adults, we can be friends and move forward. Or you can be bitter and glare at Happy. I won't let you disrespect him tho."
"I still love you, I can't be your friend now." I was honest with her. Remembering all the lies I told her over the 4 years we were together.
"So be it. Just don't start shit with Happy and we'll be cool. I'm serious Juan Carlos Ortiz." She strode away. Left me feeling empty. I was bummed. I was upset. I was pissed. She fucking threatened me and I wasn't sure I took her serious. Would she really hurt me if I ruffled his feathers? I was pretty sure he'd cause more harm then she ever could.
I walked back into the clubhouse, and instantly spotted them. She was standing between his legs as he sat and sipped a beer.
I was jealous. I knew we were fated to be together, I just had to make her see things my way.
A/N: This is my first fanfic. It ddoesn't really go by anything that happens in the show. I will pull bits and pieces from some episodes tho. This is also my first time using first person perspective with interlacing flashbacks. So any reviews will be much appreciated. I'm not sure if I'll keep it in this perspective and would you guys want to see things from Brianna's perspective if i keep it in first person?