KATNISS
He was my friend's bestfriend. I thought it was okay for me to like him then.
Until I learned my friend liked him too. It was already too late.
He was too nice, too much for my liking but he won me over.
Only he can't be mine. How, when I feel a wall between us that I can never cross?
And that wall happened to be my friend and his bestfriend nonetheless. And that wall happens to like him too.
So I chose to pull back, hiding my feelings even if it hurts me.
I am happy with the small moments we'd have without her. Passing each other in the corridors and giving each other small smiles, talking to each other when no one else is looking.
I treasure my stolen moments with him, even if it's just for a while.
I saw them earlier in the cafeteria talking happily. She asked me to join them, but I declined saying I'm busy.
"Hey Katniss, come join Peeta and me" she said.
"Sorry, Madge, I can't. I still have a test later. I need to study" I said, excusing myself.
I saw him look at me, with those blue eyes that always takes my breath away.
Did I imagine him looking disappointed? Must be.
The sky's a lonely shade of gray
Looks like my kind of day
The wind blows cold and freezing
Numbing every feeling
A flash of lightning, a thunder's rumble
Reflecting my inner struggle
It's after classes now. I look to the sky and it was all gray. I feel the cold wind and let it envelop me. Lightning streaks the sky as the thunder roll follows.
Then drops of rain hit the ground
One by one they make a sound
Together they make a blurry curtain
Where I hide to ease my pain
It's raining. The weather seems to cooperate with my depressed mood. I don't know how to cry but the heavens seem to be doing it for me.
I was heading home when I saw him approaching me, alone.
"Hey Katniss! Are you going home?" he asked me.
"Oh Peeta!, hello. Yes, I'm on my way home." I said.
"Where is Madge?" I asked since I did not see her. I was searching the depths of my bag for my umbrella.
"She went home already." He said by way of explanation.
"Do you have an umbrella? It's raining quite hard" he said sounding concerned, holding his umbrella.
How can I resist? "I don't have any" I lied then stopped searching for it in my bag.
"Oh! We could share mine. Your house is not far from my way so I could drop you off" he said smiling at me.
"Okay" I said, smiling back. I hope the heavens forgive me for lying and for stealing a moment with him.
We were walking under the rain sharing his umbrella. I was careful not to get too close to him, afraid I might give myself away.
It was fun being with him. We talked freely about school stuff, family, plans for the future and all other things we find interesting and funny.
But not about her. And I suddenly feel guilty.
But when he smiles I forget. I love that I could make him smile and laugh.
"You know. You're really funny. I don't know anyone with your sense of humor. You should hang out with us often" he said.
Ouch!
"Hey! I'm not your personal clown." I said "Besides, I'm not funny all the time. I tend to have mood swings too. You wouldn't like me when I'm grumpy."
"But I am also moody except I'm not half as funny as you." He said.
"Well, I am not half as nice as you" I said.
He chuckled at my declaration. "Okay, okay we'd better stop depreciating ourselves to each other" he said.
I gave him an awkward smile. We were silent after that, that's when I became aware that we were now walking much closer to each other.
I can't help but feel my heart beat fast. "Can he hear it?" I thought.
If my heart could beat any faster it must have. Our arms brushed each other and I felt a jolt of electricity run through me.
I now know what sweet torture feels like.
I was disappointed to see my house nearing, knowing my time with him would soon be over.
"Why can't my house be farther?" I thought.
We were soon standing outside my gate.
"We're here" he announced.
"Thank you, Peeta."
"It's my pleasure. I'll be going ahead" he said.
"Goodbye and take care" I said, adding the last 2 words with all the feelings my heart could not express.
"Yeah, you too. Until next time" he said.
"Until next time." My heart fervently wished.
I used to think that rain was the heavens' way of crying. But now I look at it differently. Thanking the rain for giving me this moment.
I wait for rain, my dependable friend
Help me when it's time to pretend