Illegitimate
Obligatory Disclaimer: I do not own ATLA. It belongs to Bryke, yada yada yada.
Mai sat in the apartment in Omashu, watching Tom Tom play with some wooden toys, babbling mindlessly.
She was alone with him, and it was times like this where she allowed her usual facade slip, if only for a little, and she smiled at him, allowing it to reach her eyes. She thought of picking him up and cuddling him in her lap, but she restrained herself from doing so.
She felt her heart ache that she wasn't permitted to hold him or coddle him...or be a mother to him.
As far as the rest of the world knew, Tom Tom was Mai's baby brother. After twelve years of being an only child, Mai's parents had miraculously conceived, and the Spirits had, at long last, blessed them with a son.
The truth was far different.
She remembered her and Zuko's first time together. They had figured that since they were betrothed to one another, it was okay. It was what husbands and wives did, after all. It had not been the way the romance scrolls described it. It had been messy, awkward, and fumbling.
A week later, Zuko had been burned and cast out, condemned to search for the Avatar.
A few weeks after that, Mai had begun to be sick in the mornings. She'd thought nothing of it.
Oh, what a fool she'd been.
Her parents had wondered at her condition, and they called in various physicians.
One finally confirmed that she was with child.
She remembered the reaction of her parents with painful clarity. Her father had screamed at her while her mother had wept in shame, and she heard about how she'd brought dishonor to herself and her family.
They paid the physician generously for him to keep his silence, and then they had locked her away for the duration of her pregnancy, keeping her under careful monitoring and out of the public eye, lying and saying that she was suffering from a long term illness.
She suffered through the months, until finally she had gone into labor a few weeks early. Her labor was difficult since her hips were narrow and her frame was slight, but Tom Tom was born healthy, if small.
When he was delivered, Mai did not even get to hold him. She did not get to rock him, or kiss his brow, or sing to him.
Her parents seemed relieved that he had been born a boy.
Her parents had always wanted a son.
She had watched as he was fawned over by other nobles, and she felt a flash of hatred for her mother for stealing him away from her and claiming him as her own.
Deep in her heart, Mai knew that passing him off as her little brother was for the best, as much as it pained her to think of it. Tom Tom would be spared the shame of being labeled a bastard. He would grow up a privileged life, and he'd eventually have a position of high honor later in his life.
As for his father...Mai wasn't sure if she'd ever see him again, or if he'd ever come back. She yearned to tell Zuko that they both had a son, but she wasn't sure how he'd react to such news. She feared that what his savage tyrant of a father would do to him if he knew Tom Tom was really hers and Zuko's child.
She had no choice but to keep her secret, and take it to her grave.
She vowed that neither of them would ever know the truth.
A/N: This is a rather significant departure from what I usually write, but the idea seeded itself into my brain while I was perusing the Wild Mass Guessing page on TVTropes. The Avatar page, to be specific, and one of the insane fandom theories was basically "What if Tom Tom was Zuko and Mai's secret love child?" As warped and far fetched as the idea is, I thought that in a certain light, it IS plausible, and voila, this twisted little fic was born.
I know it was dark and angsty, and it forced me to step out of my comfort zone, but I think it's good to stretch one's self creatively and test your limits.