(Author's note: Hello, I do not own any of these characters or the show or anything of the such. Enjoy!)
The fight between Ichigo and Jerkface Kickie McQueerThong McGagger Fagpantyos has just begun.
"Getsuga Tensho!" Ichigo screamed.
"Rape attack, Hello Kitty!" Jerkface released her zanpakuto, Hello Kitty.
"Oh shit! Not this again!"
Jerkface forgot to secure her condom this morning. Some spirit took over her body. The fight practically ended when ichigo, Orihime, Rukia, uryu, Chad, Gangu, Hanataro, Kenpachi, Retsu, Byakuya, Renji, Keisuke, Myori, Nemu, Shunsui, Nanao, Jushiro, Toshiro, Rangiku, Gin, Aizen (Isn't he dead?), and other soul reapers watched Jerkface's spirit cry in a corner for three years screaming, "QUADRUPLE UNICORNS ON RAINBOWS ON FIRE!"
After that, everyone went to the world of the living to take a vacation. They stayed there for two weeks. Shunsui chased bi-sexuals, Myori researched dog shit (he accidently stepped in some), Kenpachi fought against Pac-man in the video game, Yachiru got high (several times), and Renji kept fantasizing about getting a boner while watching gay porno films. One day, he walked around town with a boner. No one noticed. BUT WHAT DID RANGIKU DO?! Nothing. She did absolutely nothing (shoking). Orihime disappeared. Nobody cared.
END OF CHAPTER ONE