Title: Thaw My Frozen Heart
A/N: So I read a fic recently about Killer Frost Caitlin and I couldn't help but write my own spin on the scenario. I desperately hope that something happens to her that gives her powers. I think the new episode is a great opportunity to open that door, with her being kidnapped by Captain Cold and all (I mention this briefly in my story). I just don't want her to become the villain because that would undoubtedly hurt my Snowbarry heart. Also, little disclaimer, I typed this up fairly quick so let me know if there are any mistakes or if anything doesn't make sense and I'll fix it. You can request stories either here or on my Tumblr (link in my bio) :]
Barry had never been so afraid to open a door.
He felt utterly and completely numb, like he was inside some kind of surreal dream. He wasn't even cold, though he was fairly certain the temperature was dropping by the second. He couldn't even feel any emotions… well, except an overwhelming feeling of regret. He supposed that was probably clouding his senses a little.
He wasn't even sure he was still fit to wear his title: fastest man alive. Being the Flash meant he was supposed to get to people who were in trouble before it was too late, and yet, when it was the people who mattered most to him, he was never quick enough.
This time it had been Caitlin, kidnapped by Captain Cold, who'd gotten in the way of an exploding cold gun and he couldn't save her.
The sight of her when he'd found her was forever burned into his eyelids: surrounded by bodies- all blue and freezing to the touch- curled up in the middle of the floor, sobbing.
He'd failed her.
He'd failed her and now she was fated to a life not too different but at the same time, completely different then this own.
He opened the door.
The room he walked into was split into two, separated by a thick glass wall. Caitlin sat on one side, but her gaze flicked up as he walked in. Cisco and Dr. Wells had assured him that Caitlin's current living arrangement was temporary but even still, there was a bed and a chair and a still full tray of food sitting on a small side table.
Everything was sterile and white.
"Hey," Barry winced at how hoarse his voice sounded. He tried for a smile.
Caitlin stood, but didn't return the gesture. "Hi."
Her voice was quiet, reserved and hesitant, as if she were afraid of scaring him away. But that wasn't the only thing about her that was different. Her face was pale white, as if every ounce of color and life had been sucked out of her, right alone with her body heat. Her hair, which he'd always thought of as kind of a cross between auburn and brown, looked white-blonde in places.
But the thing that sent a shock through his body was her eyes. The eyes that used to warm him to his very core were anything but now. They were pale blue, almost the color of a blind man's eyes, and they landed steadily on him, never wavering the way the old Caitlin's eyes would.
He wanted to smack himself. There wasn't an "old Caitlin" or a "new Caitlin," there was just Caitlin.
"How are you?" he asked, approaching the glass.
She watched him apprehensively but didn't move. In fact, she held herself near completely still. Her gloved hands were tightly clasped together in front of her and it sent a pang through his heart to realize that it was his fault that she was afraid to touch anything.
Caitlin sighed, a dejected look flickering briefly across her face. "I thought you'd be smart enough not to ask that."
"You look good," Barry continued as though she hadn't spoken.
Her face crumpled, her hand reaching up as if on impulse to touch her hair. To his amazement, the strand of hair her fingers grazed began to turn icy blonde. She wrenched her fingers away, staring in disgust at the lock.
"Cisco needs to get me thicker gloves," she said softly.
"You know," Barry said, mustering up a casual voice. He was making it his new goal to earn a laugh from her. "The whole 'ice queen' look probably wouldn't work for most, but I think I like it on you."
Caitlin, on the other hand, seemed in no mood to laugh. "I look like a ghost."
It could have been funny, but she seemed so defeated and genuine that all Barry wanted to do was to knock down the glass barrier and gather her in his arms.
"Cait," Barry began, but she held up a hand to quiet him.
"No!" her voice was shaking with emotion now. "Don't try to comfort me, you couldn't possibly understand!"
"You're a meta human, just like me-"
"I am not like you!" Caitlin exploded, a puff of cold air visible in front of her lips. She paused for half a second, looking weary as she lowered her voice. "Barry I'm… I'm Bette all over again. You have the ability to… to run faster than the speed of sound. I touch things and," her voice cracked, "and freeze them, or suck the life out of them. This isn't a blessing like your powers it's a curse."
Barry could feel the cracks in his heart growing by the second. "That isn't true. We can help you."
Caitlin shook her head, a tired smile playing on her lips. "If that were true I wouldn't be locked up," when Barry opened his mouth to protest, she continued. "Rightfully so, too. I'm a danger to everyone."
The room was deadly quiet for a moment before she whispered, so quietly he could barely hear her, "I killed those people, they're dead because of me," this is where her voice reached hysteria. "And it was so easy, too. All I had to do was touch them for a few seconds and god, I watched them all die. And I knew what I was doing too, but they were so warm and I was so cold and I am so cold and-"
The tears finally slid down her face.
Barry rushed towards the glass, desperate to get as close to her as he could. Carefully, slowly, he spread one hand on the clear wall that separated them.
"We'll help you," he promised her. "I'll help you. Maybe there's a way to channel your powers, so you can use them on your terms. Just… please don't give up on yourself like this."
Caitlin didn't seem too convinced but still, she hesitantly approached the glass, spreading her fingers out to mirror his own.