"Rattmann! Rattmann!" Cave Johnson's voice boomed on the loudspeakers, "Get down to my office ASAP! And by ASAP, I mean NOW! That will be all."

Doug Rattmann gulped and reluctantly headed to Johnson's office. He certainly hoped he wasn't in trouble. Doug suffered from schizophrenia, and he often had both visual and auditory hallucinations. He hoped and wished this was one.

Rattmann stepped into Cave's office and closed the door and said, "Yeah, Cave?"

Cave replied, "Doug, I've got a dilemma I believe—no, know—you can solve. You see, my secretary, Caroline—she gave birth to Chell."

Doug said, "Oh, uh…congratulations…?"

Cave pounded his fist on the desk. "SHUT YER PIEHOLE, YOU IGNORANT SCHIZO! We can't raise her—it's hard enough keeping Black Mesa out of here—a child would put us in shambles."

Doug asked, "So what does this have to do with me?"

Cave calmed down and reclined in his chair. "sigh, Rattmann—you are going to raise Chell. You're smart. You're crazy—I like that."

Doug protested, "Uh, Cave—that's exactly why I can't raise her—I'm crazy. Why would you want that?"

Cave leaned in close to Rattmann and said, "I'll answer that with a question—do you want to keep your job?"

Doug sighed. "Yes," he answered.

Cave smiled. "Good!" he said. "She'll be there when you get home."
Doug drove home, very unhappy. This was going to suck.

Well, he got home to find a little baby in a crib in his home. How they managed to get her in there was beyond him. He went to the crib. There was a blanket wrapped around her that said, "Chell." We leaned over the crib and looked at her.

"Uh, hey," he said, "Um, Chell, I guess your name is, uh, I'm Doug…Doug, uh, Doug Rattmann. What's up? Oh, what am I doing, you can't understand me."

Chell started wailing. Rattmann panicked.

"No, now come on, don't cry!" he said, "What do you want? Food? Come on, communicate with me!"

Chell just continued screaming.

Doug saw a bag near Chell's crib. In it were many essential things for babies, such as several bottles of milk, pacifier, binky, things like that. Doug grabbed a bottle and tried to put it into Chell's mouth. Chell turned away.

Doug got a bit aggravated. "Come on now! Eat!—Or drink, I—Ugh! Point is, you need to eat!" Chell refused the bottle. Doug picked her up and tried again. "Come on now," he said loudly, "If you don't eat you'll die. If you die Cave will have my head on a mantle!" Chell still didn't do it. The voices in Rattmann's head started to speak. His medicine was wearing off.

Come on, Doug, they said, She doesn't need it. Let her starve. Throw into the wall if you want to. If Cave cared so much about her, he and Caroline would've kept her.

Doug thought it over, and was starting to agree, but snapped out of it. "NO!" he yelled, subconsciously cradling Chell. "I WON'T! I—I'll lose my job, and—good god, she's a baby! She needs a father! And I guess—I guess I'll be her father." He looked down again to see Chell happily drinking the milk. Doug smiled. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.