Harry-
I've come to conclusion that I can no longer ignore my feelings. Instead of telling you like I should, I decided to be pathetic and write down my feelings. I fear rejection to much to confess to you. So I hope that this journal isn't found. It shouldn't be. I've put many charms and locks on. If you, or somehow someone else is, reading this, please close it. I feel that what I'm about to write will scar you, nevertheless.
I'm not exactly sure how I became physically and mentally attracted to you. I remember during our first year when I offered my hand and you rejected it. I suppose that was my first time I felt attracted. Throughout the years, I never gave you much thought, and when I did, I always had some sort of scowl on my face. I realized that I stopped making faces a few months ago. But the scowl traded in with something else. Every time I think of you, my stomach flutters. As I write this, my fingers tingle. I'm not exactly sure what this all means, but I do believe I have ideas . . . Ideas I don't particularly want to talk about until I'm sure.
We ran into each other today when we both turned the corner. You stumbled back and immediately apologized, then you realized who I was. You made a face and spat out for me to watch where I was going. I tried my best to mask a scowl and tell you to watch your own step, but it didn't seem to affect you. You brushed past me and left me standing there. I know it seems rather ludicrous, but when you ran into me and stumbled back, you wore the cutest expression I've ever seen. It made my heart skip a beat.
The next time I saw you was in Potions. You sat two seats away, talking happily with Weasley and Granger while I watch you from behind with jealousy. I kinda envy Weasley and Granger. They don't get glared at in the manner you glare at me. They get to see your smile directed to them. You never smiled at me. And I wish one day that we'll just get over this ridiculous, childish feud, and that you'll come across me in the hallway and flash me that smile- that smile that lights up your face. Weasley and Granger also get to comfort, touch, and talk to you. I can't say anything to you without you becoming suspicious. Touching's clearly out of the question. And the one thing I envy them most for, is that they have your love and care. I won't ever have that.
But I can wish. There's a lot of things I wish for, and some of my wishes scare me. At times, I wish that you would notice me. We pass each other in the hallways every hour; though, you never speak to me unless we cross paths or we look at each other at the same time. But most of the time, I wish one thing: for you to realize my feelings for you.
Some times you're really dim. You're unconscious of the world that doesn't revolve around you. You pay more attention to Professor Snape than you do me. And that hurts.
I usually understand my emotions and why I'm hurt, but this time, I don't comprehend my feelings completely. I don't know why I'm attracted to you or why I have these feelings. I've been puzzling over the reason why every night since I remember. I've come to a few conclusions, but they all cancel each other out. Right now, I can only think of one reason. I suppose . . . I suppose I fancy you, Harry. A lot.
Reviews, pl0x? C: