A/N: After rereading the dark Swan series and notice a lack of fanfiction for it, I decided to brush of my pen name and get back into writing, by writing getting back into FF. Constructive criticism is much obliged. Ones writing could always use improvement, someone just needs to show you were. Now while I believe this story chapter could stand on its own, alas it will be part of a story, so please bear with me. Not without further ado; here's New Era: A Dark Swan Story!
Oh and uh, I don't own the Dark Swan series, well I do, because I bought them, but I did not write, seek an agent and/or have these books published under my name, they belong to the amazing Richelle Mead and although the idea of people playing in her world weirds her out, she still allows us to do so.
I felt his lips graze my shoulder as they made their way towards my neck. With one hand, he brushed aside my orange hair, while the other traveled beneath the comforter. His fingers began to caress my thigh and then moved up to my stomach to lightly trace my mark of motherhood. It's becoming a tradition of his, no matter how we wound up in each others arms and no matter had it been before or after sex, his hands would always find their way back to the scar that painfully reminded me of the choice I made in protecting my twins. Isaac and Ivy, my children, mine and Dorian's. Every time I looked into his eyes, I would see theirs, making this secret that much harder to bear. He turned on his side more, his lips were at my ears.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked, but I never got the chance to answer as he continued with his musing. "Scratch that, I know what you're thinking about, you're thinking about your little ones."
He sighed deeply and threw the covers off of him as he got out of the bed. He made his way over to one of the tables, the one with the wine on it and poured himself a glass. Normally the sight of him naked would instantly stir up excitement in me, but as the time away from my children goes, my sex drive lessens. I think Dorian noticed as well. No matter how often I tell myself it was for the best, I still hurt and old joys can't ease the pain away.
"Eugenie, this is getting tiresome. You suffering by being away from, and it's making me suffer seeing you this way. This decision of yours is just downright selfish and you know it."
"Selfish! How dare you sit there and call me selfish, I love my children and I want them to be safe and if being away from them is the only way to see to that, than so be it."
"And there goes my point, this whole decision had been your feelings and your feelings only." He said. "Yes, they'll be safe, but at what cost? You never knowing them and them never knowing you? You want them to have a normal life, but they'll never be normal Eug. What's normal about a mother popping in and out of their lives with no explanation? You're not the only one who's going is or is going to suffer. What about the ones raising the twins, how will they feel when you remove Isaac and Ivy from them when you finally deem it safe from them to be with you. How do you think I feel seeing you like this"
He ran a hand through his hair and walked over to a chair where his 'Slayer' robes and the back of it and threw it on.
"If you truly believed we make our own destiny then come what may and face problems as as they arise and not in fear of what may be."
He turned and left the room, leaving me feeling more conflicted than I have ever felt in my lifetime. I needed help, I needed my mother. She would understand, she would help me cope. I quickly got up and got dressed. Soon I was on my way to Thorn land, Jasmine had been bugging me all week to take her back. My sister was in the throne room, she and Shaya were discussing more trade deals. Although it had been a couple of months since the blight, there were some lands, including my own, that still needed help. After I picked up Jasmine, we traveled back to Tuscan. I decided to check in at home first. Tim and Lara were both home.
I caught them both up and the going ons in my life, while Jasmine called and caught up with Wil. I felt they deserved to know why I had been absent for so long with no word on whether or not I was okay. I wasn't sure who was more shock that I had become a mother, but they understood. Neither of them said anything about my decision on letting another raise them, but they did want to see picture, both notice that the twins looked nothing like Kiyo, I causally let them know that he wasn't the father. Soon, the two of them had to get ready for work, so we bid each other goodbye and Jasmine and I left to go and visit my mom and Roland. Roland wasn't home yet, but my mother was and she was shocked to see me.
"Genie!" She rushed over and pulled me into a fierce hug, I returned the hug just as fiercely. When I pulled back I turned to the side to introduce Jasmine.
"Mom, I don't think you've ever met, but this is Jasmine."
"Tirigan's other daughter right?" She replied with a sad smile.
"Roland told you?" She nodded and turned to Jasmine and shook her hand.
"It's a pleasure to meet you." My mom said genuinely. "Eugenie always wanted a sister."
"And now she has two." Jasmine said. Again my mom smiled sadly before turning back to me.
"What brings you around, or did you just come to say hello?"
We moved into the living room, I sat quietly for sometime, Roland had come home and taken Jasmine into the kitchen to start dinner. With it being just me and my mom, I finally spoke.
"Mom I don't know what to do. I didn't think I'd ever want kids and when I heard the prophecy, I knew I could never have them, but when I heard their heartbeats, I just. I just couldn't get rid of them. They were apart of me."
"That's how I felt about you." She reached over and placed a hand on top of mine. "Now, tell me about this prophecy, how does it go? I've heard a fair few in my time over there."
"The Storm King's vision will be carried out through his daughter's first son. The human world will be reconquered."
"That seems oddly specific, and people believe it to be true...nevermind, of course they do, it's why you are constantly attacked and they're sure it's not going to be Jasmine or your other sister's child."
"Ysabel is her name, she had a son. Pagiel, he was the one raiding the human, but he was only trying to make a better life for his people. He was killed.
"Then that's the prophecy, The oldest daughter with the first son."
"Some aren't so sure." Thinking of Maiwenn, I still haven't decided what to do about her. I don't understand how she can act all innocent when she murdered a child in cold blood. What about the prophecy scared her, it would help the shinning one, why would she go to such lengths for the human world. "Even so, prophecy aside, people are afraid of the power I acquired and could use the twins against me."
"It's hard, being a parent, especially of children. When they're young, you make all the decision and never once think of the repercussions."
"Mom?" I ask.
"Genie, do you remember how you felt when you found out about your father, or how you felt when Kiyo told you about him having a baby by another woman. Answer honestly, how did you feel?"
For a moment I didn't say anything. I knew what she was getting at.
"How did you feel Eug?" She asked again.
"I felt betrayed, I couldn't understand how you could say you loved me, but keep something like that from me, but mom."
"No, just think on that for a moment. It didn't matter, if we had a good reason or not, you still felt betrayed and hurt, did you not?"
"Yes."
"Now, as cliché as it is, the road to hell was paved with good intention. You're questioning your judgment, because you love your kids, but you also made that choice to leave them out of love. There are risks on both sides. Either be there for your children and run the risk of having to always shelter and chaperone them, or let them grow up away from you and run the risk of them deciding they don't want you apart of their lives."
"Even if they hate me, it would be worth it and they live."
"But would they be living, or would there resentment of you hold them back." She paused. "Look Eugenie, I can't tell you the future, and can't tell you the outcome of what you decide and I can't tell you how to decide. Only you can weight those options, and in my experience, sometimes, what you may think is best for them, isn't always the best. Roland and I thought it best to repress your heritage and I see now that was a mistake, but I still feel it was a mistake for Roland to get you involved with the otherworld anyway. Maybe if you were completely away from it, you never would have gotten mixed up in the prophecy. Or it could have made it worst, but sometimes you just have to let the cards lay where that fall. You can't control the world, or how people see it, you can only take control of how you react to it."
We both stood up as Roland poked his head into the living room to let us know that dinner was ready. During dinner, much to my mother's displeasure, Roland went over the jobs he was doing and wondering whether or not I'd get back to being a Shaman for hire. I told him I would, I wanted some normalcy in my life back and protecting this world was normal for me. After we finished eating I informed them that I'd be visiting Huntsville in the morning, and they should join us. The twins needed to meet their grandmother. They agreed right away. On our way out, my mother grabbed my arm.
"Genie, just remember that you're not alone, let the people who love be there for you and be there for them as well."
I think that was my mom's way of telling I should let Dorian know he fathered two children. I smiled slightly, I was already planning on doing so. It was foolish of me to believe I could or even should keep it from him. I didn't think I'd be able to get any sleep that night, but the excitement of seeing my children once more left me giddy like a kid on Christmas eve and nodded off right away. Roland and I found another scenic route to take to get to Huntsville, We let Candace and Charles know that we were headed their way and again, we were greeted at the door.
Not much had changed since the last I'd saw them, they grew a little, the green in their eyes were much sharper. I don't think I'd ever tire of seeing them, holding them, and knowing they were little bundles and me and Dorian. I had to fight Jasmine and my mom for holding time. We'd stayed the weekend and even that wasn't enough for my mom or surprisingly, Jasmine. Though I'm not sure if that was a good thing or bad , as on our way back to the Otherworld, she stated that she couldn't wait to have her own.
"So what are you going to do now?" Jasmine asked.
"I'm going to talk with Dorian, perhaps there's some middle ground we can reach."
I wasn't overly optimistic about it, Dorian had always wanted children and having them with me was a bonus. He'd continuously offered to take custody of Isaac and Ivy, he said having someone else kids was better than having none at all. When I reached the Oak lands and was announced, I made made way across the room to were Dorian sat. It was dinner time and they had only seemed to be halfway through their meals. I clutched the photo album and portable DVD player to my chest as I took a seat next to him. He smiled at me, but you could tell by the look in his eyes that he had more to say, but not in public. It didn't take much longer for him to call it a night. I followed him back to his room, but before I could get a word in, he started up.
"Eugenie, I want to apologize. I shouldn't have called selfish, I can't imagine what you're going through, but I can see how much it is hurting you to be away from your little ones. I just also can't, couldn't imagine not being with your children when you so obviously want to. It's not my decision though, I need to be here for you, not make you feel worst for doing what you think is best from Thundro and Ivy."
"Do you think it's best for them?" I ask, I had to clear my throat as my voice began to shake.
"Eug, I can't tell you what to do and how to raise them, they're your children."
"They're yours too." I choked before handing him the photo album first. He didn't say anything so I told him what Kiyo told me. How he'd gotten himself fixed after his first accident. He looked like he wanted to comment on how once again humans waste such a gift, but thought better of it. He had yet to open the picture and behold his offspring.
"Eugenie..."
"There yours, just look, they have your eyes."
He sat down on the bed and opened the book, with each page he carefully examine each photo, brushing his fingers over them like he was trying to imprint them into his mind by touch. When he reached the ones of the twins that showed him in the features, he started to cry. I turned on the DVD player and played the video I made over the weekend. Even after the film was done, we sat there in silence. I knew what I wanted to say, but I wanted him to have a moment. Finally, I spoke.
"I still believe that this is the safest place for them, I know that they could be safe here as well, but they'd be surrounded by guards most of their lives, I don't want that, they deserve better, they deserve freedom, but I realize now that keeping them ignorant of their heritage isn't safe either."
"So what are you saying?" Dorian asked quietly.
"I'm saying I want to keep them where they, lessen the time of visits, but I want them to stay informed of why that is."
"I don't understand."
"Well after you meet you son and daughter in person, I 'll show you."
We waited a month before we thought it was safe for the both of us to travel. We told no one, but Jasmine, Shaya, and Ruik of our plans. Though I was immensely surprised that Dorian didn't shout it from the rooftops. When we finally arrived at Huntsville, even he had to admit other gentry would be hard pressed to find this place. When Roland first told me of this place he admitted that he had not told the Reeds the whole story of my situation, so while Dorian got to know his children, I told Candace and Charles all about him and the world that I was now tied to. When Dorian finally laid the twins down for their nap, I began to explain how I wanted our involvement with the two to work out.
It took the Reeds, a little while to get use to the idea that not all gentry are bad, and that in fact, the two children they loved like their own, were apart of that world, but they accepted it. School was starting so Evan was out lesson planning, to which I was grateful for, Candace promised to fill him in later.
Unlike when I was by myself or with mom and Roland, we didn't get to stay all weekend. People would notice two great monarchs going for more than three days. It was hard to pull Dorian away from his children, it was even harder bringing myself to pull him away in the first place. In a perfect the four of us would be together and everyday I get to watch with a big smile on my face as Dorian doted on his children like nothing else in the world mattered. I selfish as it sounded I was glad that now we could suffer together, but it wouldn't always be this and that gave us hope. Hopefully we made the right choice, only time would tell.