Everything

She was actually pretty interesting, the more time he spent with her. After they got passed all that denial of their feelings and that awkwardness whenever they were alone, slowly they both got to know one another better.

One of the most interesting things about her to him was the way she slept. The first time they actually fell asleep together, he thought she was dead. Literally. It was almost like she stopped breathing entirely. And he had flipped out because he read the paper. A guy like him waking up to a dead woman like her after sleeping together the night before would not be a very hard case for the police to make.

Then, after poking her shoulder, she had moaned and rolled onto her other side, letting him breath a big sigh of relief. Part of it was, of course, because he was beyond thrilled that she wasn't, like, actually dead, but he would be lying to say that the fear of a public lynching didn't make that sigh all the louder.

There were other things though, of course. Like how she for some reason refused to eat ice cream. Ever. He tried to buy her a cone before and she flat refused.

"It's fattening, Elfman," she'd told him as she inspected her polished nails.

"But that cake you ate earlier wasn't?"

She hit him then. Literally. In the arm. And it kinda hurt…

"Don't question me, alright?"

So he didn't. About anything. Because there were quite a few things he could have. Like how she always insisted on being the one to make breakfast. He'd always thought she'd be the opposite, as she never liked to do things for him, but breakfast was her department. Dinner was his. Period.

Not to mention how she made him do her laundry. That wasn't too bad, as he'd done Mira and Lisanna's for years (scarred, but still standing, he was). It was just her specifications about how things had to be folded. And where they got put up. Things just didn't have their own drawer; they had their own tiny section without that drawer.

And who knew that he had gone his whole life folding towels improperly?

All that stuff though were the manageable things. There were other things, other specifications and qualifications for him staying over or even taking her out on dates that made him question why he'd even want to.

He had to pick her up. Always. Even when it would just be easier for them both to meet at the bar. He had to literally go up to her apartment to get her. It was just one of her rules.

If he slept over, he had to let her known at least a day in advance, so that she'd be able to clean. He'd stopped by a few times though, without notice, and the place looked pretty much the same. She was just obsessive over him thinking she was perfect, he figured.

Then there was the fact that for some reason, Ever decided that she got to decide when it was time for him to get rid of certain items of clothing.

"I like 'em, Ever. They're comfortable. They're lucky. They-"

"They have holes in them, Elfman."

"And? I like the pattern on 'em. They-"

"You have a thousand pairs of boxers," she told him bluntly. "So wear a different one."

Then she just threw away his lucky pair of boxers. She was heartless, his woman was. Nee, she had a heart, but it was just pure stone.

There were tons of entertaining things that she did though. Entertaining to him at least. Other men would have found them annoying or time consuming. Like how everything in the apartment had an exact spot.

Everything.

Every candle, every picture frame, even the stupid clock. They all had to be at precise angles at all times. If he so much as bumped a side table (which he did a lot as, for some reason during decorating, she hadn't taken into consideration his size), he had to fix whatever might have shifted. Even if it was by the tiniest of degrees.

Then there was the fact that practically everything was her favorite color. Green. Everything. Everywhere. Even the dang bed sheets.

He thought it just made her cute. Not to mention, they were quite comfy.

Another thing that he liked was the way that she sneezed. It annoyed Laxus, whenever he was around. Mainly because she couldn't just sneeze. No. Not, Elfman's woman. It was the most drawn out process in the world.

She'd make the face first. And then take a deep breath, as if trying to stop herself. Then let it out, quickly before taking another one in. And when she finally did sneeze, after all that buildup, you'd be expecting some sort of big thing.

Instead, all you got was a tiny, "'choo" from her mouth and it was all over.

Elfman fell over every time, just from the sight.

Then the way she hiccupped well, that could send him into hysterics for hours!

She wasn't always so manly though, which was a problem.

Like her fear of bugs. He had to have killed half a dozen of them for her in just the past month. Once, he was in the shower and heard her start screaming from the other room. So he rushed out there, naked, to find her pointing at one of the corners of the house where a little spider was.

"Seriously, Ever? I thought something-"

"Just kill it, stupid"

"Can't you just turn it to stone?"

"Why the hell would I want a stone spider? Now kill it!"

That wasn't the only thing she didn't like either.

When Mirajane bought a house all those years ago, it was with the agreement to Elfman that he would not be getting anymore pet birds. Because, according to her, they were gross and made a mess.

So with a girlfriend around, he thought that he would finally have a place to have a new parakeet at. He even went out and bought one and everything! But when Evergreen opened the door to his knocking that day, she wouldn't let him inside.

Not even glancing at the birdcage he was carrying, she said simply, "No."

"But-"

"No."

"He won't-"

"No."

"I love-"

"No."

"And he-"

"No."

"I'll clean-"

"No."

Needless to say, he cried all the way back to the pet shop to return his new pet.

As unmanly as that was though, he was able to forgive her. Because, as she explained to him upon his return birdless and defeated, her apartment was just not the place for such a thing. He was lucky, she told him, that she even let him in.

So there was that.

The way she was with his sister though was super manly!

Given the way that Evergreen usually acted towards others, when they first officially began seeing one another, he was fearful of how she'd treat them. Lisanna and Mirajane were, after all, the most important women in his life. No matter how high Ever rose on that list, she'd never outweigh them.

Ever.

And eventually, after convincing Mira that no, they really weren't engaged and all that stuff back on Tenrou really was just a trick (she still seemed to not believe them), Ever found herself going over to dinner at the Strauss house.

It was actually rather…eventful. Because that just so happened to be the day that Lucy and Natsu went on their first date and Lisanna found out. So she was a little brat the whole dinner.

To Elfman's surprise though, it wasn't Mirajane that calmed her down when she finally started crying during dinner about how unfair it was and that Natsu was supposed to wait for her or whatever, but rather Evergreen.

Elfman though only offered to Lisanna, if she wanted, for him to force Natsu to go out with her. Or any guy. By threat of violence!

Apparently though, as he found out, that wasn't the right thing to do as it only made Lisanna sob harder.

"Just go sit in the living room, Elf," Ever had hissed at him as Mirajane only went to pat her younger sister on the head, staring at her in shock. "Please."

So he did. For awhile too. And when they finally came to get him for dessert, everything was all better.

His woman was a true man, helping the weak and all.

Mirajane though, just seemed happy to have another woman around for the most part. Because, oh, Ever was around.

Even though a lot of their time was spent over at her place, there was a good chunk of it too that was wasted at his house. Still, there were a few times that Evergreen and Mirajane came to blows over silly things, but they mostly got along alright. She wasn't a very good cook, but that was okay because Mirajane loved teaching.

Really. She did.

An even bigger part of Ever's manly side, however, was the fact that she was great to train with. Better than Lisanna, at least. And since Mirajane didn't like training any longer, Elfman found his new favorite partner to be his girlfriend.

Boy, he'd seen her fight before, many times, but she was still something else to him. She was always something else to him. Whether they were running laps, sparring, or just doing little things like sit ups and pushups, she was a beast.

"I am not," she complained one day when he called her that. "So stop calling me that. And manly! I'm neither of them. I'm very much a female, thank you."

He'd only grin though. Because she was right. She wasn't a beast. He was.

"But we're both men regardless," he assured her.

"I'm not a man, Elf!"

Maybe not, but she sure punched like one…

Her teammates weren't too bad either, or so he found out. Slowly. Freed had always been pretty okay in his book (though not very manly, he made up with it by being pretty smart) and Bickslow got even better when he started hanging out with Lisanna.

"Boy," he said one day as he and Evergreen watched Bickslow's babies float around Lisanna's head while their master chatted her up. "I'm sure glad Lisanna's got a friend like Bickslow to look out for her. I don't even got to walk her home any longer He does it for me! And makes sure she gets fed. Says he even, you know, comes over to the house some nights to check on things."

Ever only sighed, patting him on the arm while shaking her head.

"Just so long as you're happy, Elf," she said, though her tone made it sound as if he were crazy or something. When he glanced down at her, she'd only smiled until he forgot all about it.

It was the guy that they were supposedly guarding though that Elfman took the most offense with.

Laxus.

Bleh. The name even tasted foul at times on his tongue.

Sure, fine, he'd done a lot of good for the guild in the more recent years, but still. And the way that Evergreen fawned over him was the worst. She practically worshiped him. Part of the time, he was afraid that if Laxus showed her a little interest, she might…might…

"You big dope," she complained when he mentioned it to her on accident one night. She had been going on and on about Laxus and… He just couldn't help it! "I'm in love with you. I just think Laxus is wonderful and amazing and-"

"See what I mean? You practically-"

"But I don't want to, like, sleep with him," she'd insisted as they laid there in bed next to each other. Then she'd reached out to pat his cheek, stroking his sideburns gently. "Only you."

While that didn't ease all his fears about the man, another thing only sprang them up worse. His big sister, the woman that he put so much faith in, that he confided in that he was fearful of the Thunder God taking his woman, came out to him one day that it was impossible.

"Elf, he's not interested in Ever. Trust me. He-"

"But how do you know, Mirajane? Huh? He's a-"

"Because we've been together now for a few months. And believe me, even Laxus doesn't have the guts to cheat on me."

It was something about the way she said it, all nonchalant and like it wasn't a big deal.

Well guess what? It was a big deal! A very big deal!

Evergreen though was ecstatic over the news. She and Mirajane immediately began planning double dates for them, which both Laxus and Elfman seemed to despise with the same amount of passion.

But what could be done? When a stone heart and a demon get together, they get whatever they want from their dragon and beast.

Whatever.

Still though, all of that was far outshined by the most manly quality she possessed. The most macho thing she did.

And it happened constantly too!

She loved him. Evergreen did. She really loved him. In a way that only his sisters did. Not since his parents and his old village had he felt that kinda love from anyone other than the other two takeover mages.

It wasn't even a few months of truly dating too, that she was able to admit it. She'd tell him, softly, in his ear at night. Or when they were cuddling up on the couch. And when he killed those damn bugs for her?

She more than showed her love than.

And just for that, she was the manliest man there was around.

Right under him, of course! But as she told him when he explained all this one night, that wasn't such a bad position.

"In fact," she'd said as she pulled him over to the bed after his whole spiel about the whole thing. "Under you is my favorite spot in the whole word."

And for that, he could put up with everything.

Everything.

Bleh. This was just an overview that I'd been working on of their relationship. I wanted to write another story on them, but my idea well was kinda dry today, I guess. Hmmm.