A/N: Inspired by a conversation I had with a special bumblebee. This for you, Cesca.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
01. Comfort
It had started with the need for comfort; one person getting rid of the troubles of the day for the other, erasing the images of dead victims.
02. Kiss
She was married, he was her subordinate, but when Brenda pulled Andy to her lips, kissing him as his hands slid up the back of her thighs, none of that mattered.
03. Soft
That first time had been rushed, desperate, and needy, but the next time - which neither had really planned - was gentle, slow, full of too much intimacy as he caressed and softly kissed every sensitive spot of her body.
04. Pain
Brenda sat at her desk, ding dong in front of her, but her eyes were looking down at the wedding band on her finger, and her thoughts were on the pain she knew Fritz would feel if he were to find out what she'd done - a knock on her door and a tentative smile on Andy's lips made her push it all away, a head nod and warm brown eyes welcoming him in.
05. Potatoes
Maybe when it was no longer just about sex, and they were finding time to have dinners together once every few weeks, they should have known they needed to stop - but they didn't.
06. Rain
The first time Sharon came up was after Brenda and she had shared a case - the tension was thick and it had driven Brenda right to Andy - and as she was riding him, her breast in his mouth as she shuddered, listening to the rain and her deep moans mix, she had been thinking of Sharon; later that night before she left, she told Andy the truth.
07. Chocolate
The taste lingered on his lip as he walked away from the staircase - chocolate and cream; he grinned as he put his hands in his pockets and walked back to the Murder Room, taking the long way so he could think about what Brenda had just told him about how she couldn't stop what they were doing even though he had given her an out.
08. Happiness
Happiness was an odd thing - you could find it in places you would never think to look, and he found it in his married boss, which was as bittersweet as it got.
09. Telephone
Her skirt had been bunched up around her waist, her legs dangling off the side of his kitchen counter, and his hand was between her legs, their mouths connected as he fingered her faster and faster - the ringing phone was ignored until she had came around his strong fingers; it had been Fritz.
10. Ears
Sharon saw Brenda sitting at the bar, twirling her wine in her glass as she looked into it like she was searching for answers, and maybe it was that sad look in her brown eyes that made her walk over to her; she took the empty bar stool as she said the woman's rank, the word coming out silkily in Brenda's ears.
11. Name
Her legs were over her shoulders, Sharon's tongue was pushing against her clit, and she could barely do anything other than breathe the woman's name over and over again as she climaxed, shuddering and holding the other woman's head to her.
12. Sensual
Brenda was gone when Sharon woke up, and Sharon was glad and a little hurt because of it- when the blonde had kissed her in the bar, drunkenly admitting things to her that she didn't necessarily want to hear, it had been delicious and sensual; her tongue swiped her lips, pushed them open and then explored her mouth as she caressed her hip through her dress - Sharon didn't expect more than a night with the woman, but that didn't mean she wouldn't have at least appreciated it if she woke her up and said bye.
13. Death
A family of five (three kids and their parents) had been shot to death, and as she sat in her empty bed trying to fall asleep, she realized she didn't miss her husband who was out of the state; what she wanted was Andy or Sharon to make the faces of the victims fade away.
14. Sex
It had been two weeks since that night with Sharon, three since she was able to see Andy, and over two months since she had slept with her husband; so when she got in her car, pulling out her cell phone to send a text, there was no doubt in her mind about where she would end up at the end of the night.
15. Touch
"What are you thinking about?" Andy asked as his fingers danced over her spine; she tried to lie to him, but he didn't let it go, so she looked at him as she confessed what had happened with Sharon and how she couldn't stop thinking about it - she was surprised when he ended up inside her again, urging her to continue telling him about her night with Sharon.
16. Weakness
Sharon cared about rules, structure, laws, and obligations, but none of that stopped her from caving when Brenda cornered her in the parking garage and leaned in, eyes locked on hers before they kissed.
17. Tears
Andy wasn't surprised to find the tears on Brenda's cheek when she showed up on his doorstep, looking much smaller than normal - he pulled her into his arms, already knowing Fritz and her had been going through more problems than usual - he held her that night, giving her a type of comfort she'd started seeking more of lately.
18. Speed
Sharon's heart was racing as she opened her door and saw both Andy and Brenda at the door, the two of them looking just as nervous as she felt; she briefly wondered at what point she had started to trust them both enough to let them into her bedroom.
19. Wind
The Los Angeles air was cool and the wind blew her hair of her shoulders as she looked at the rising sun the next morning; Andy watched Sharon, wondering if she was ever going to come back inside before he left - she'd been out there since Brenda left thirty minutes before.
20. Freedom
"You have the freedom to go when you like," Sharon said to Andy before he responded, "Who says I wanna leave?"
21. Life
Brenda had never felt as alive as she did when she was with the two of them; they had all reached a place where they were a part of each other's life and there wasn't much to do to change it.
22. Jealousy
Fritz had done something to make things between him and Brenda better, and as much as Andy knew he had no right to be jealous when she smiled at her husband, he felt his jaw clench and his nostrils flare - that night he and Sharon had rough sex against her door, leaving her sore; at the time he couldn't feel bad about it, but the next morning he pressed soft kisses over aching spots on her body.
23. Hands
They were both mad at Brenda, whether they had the right to be or not didn't matter; when they were all in Andy's bed, Sharon pinned Brenda's hands above her head and hissed in her ear, using her free hand to finger her hardly as Brenda cried out, looking into Andy's eyes.
24. Taste
Brenda had just come down from Sharon's office when he saw her; and when he kissed her, her mouth tasted unfamiliar to him - the taste was familiar to Brenda, though; she craved the dark flavor that was Sharon Raydor.
25. Devotion
Sharon was sitting at her desk in her condo, drinking a glass of wine as she tried to figure out how she had gotten herself in whatever it was she was in; it was ridiculous to think it could work - a relationship with a lower ranking officer and a higher ranking married officer who was also married - but the emotions she was growing for them both made it clear that she couldn't give them up.
26. Forever
"Not everything lasts forever," Brenda murmured under her breath as she walked away from Fritz, deciding that she rather get back to work than argue with him again; he didn't know what was running through her head when she said it, but the words played in his head as he grunted and left.
27. Blood
Andy and Sharon shouldn't have looked as scared as they had - Sharon was good at hiding her emotions usually, but with Brenda covered in blood, she realized that even though most of it wasn't hers, the idea that something could have happened to her scared her and there wasn't much she could do about it.
28. Sickness
Andy hadn't realized how serious things were until he found himself bringing Sharon soup when he had heard through Brenda that she was home sick; she didn't really want to let him in, but he insisted - she was thankful once her head was in his lap as he ran his hand through her hair and let her fall asleep against him.
29. Melody
The melody was one Sharon liked, but what had both her and Andy's attention was the swing of Brenda's hips as she danced, smiling at them as she tried to get them both to join her - Fridays when Brenda drank too much were always enjoyable, but after awhile both Andy and Sharon started to wonder what she was starting to cover up; they decided that the next Friday she wouldn't be able to drink.
30. Star
Sitting on the deck attached to the back of Andy's small house, Brenda told them about how often the fights were happening; Sharon didn't say much that night as she looked up into the dark sky, staring at stars; she was afraid she would tell Brenda to just leave him already - deep down it was what they all wanted.
31. Home
Sharon's kids were home for a visit when Brenda showed up at her door, puffy eyes and no trace of a smile - Sharon couldn't turn her away, but she also knew she couldn't comfort her the way she usually would; she found out that just being held was all she needed.
32. Confusion
Sharon's kids were confused when they found Brenda in the kitchen, putting honey into her coffee, but they were even more confused when they saw how hard it was for their mother not to lay a comforting hand on the small of her back or thighs.
33. Fear
It was irrational to be afraid of losing someone who technically wasn't yours, but Andy had admitted to Sharon once that he was afraid that one day everything they all had would end and he wouldn't be ready for it; Sharon whispered in his ear that she would always be there - neither were sure she meant it.
34. Lightning/Thunder
"Make me forget," Brenda begged as she pushed Sharon's hand down into her panties, moaning as her fingers slid over her clit; with each flash of lightning she saw Terell Baylor's face and hoped Sharon could make it all go away - deep down they both knew it wasn't going to just go away, and once Brenda was fixing her clothes, Sharon once again told her she needed to get herself a lawyer.
35. Bonds
The binds that tied them were invisible and metaphoric, but still they all knew how they were connected; when times were rough, they still had a connection that brought them back to each other in a time of need.
36. Market
They never spoke about seeing other people, and if asked by either of the women, he probably wouldn't tell them that he now told women he was off the market.
37. Technology
Sharon lied in bed with a sheet draped over her from her lower back to the back of her knees; she was watching Brenda try to figure something out on her laptop, groaning to herself - Sharon thought it was adorable and Andy was amused as he watched from the other side of the bed.
38. Gift
Provenza commented on the new tie Andy had on - silk and expensive - he told him it was a gift and Brenda hid a blush as she faced away from them and thought about the afternoon she and Sharon had talked about something simple they could get him.
39. Smile
Sharon trailed her finger over Brenda's bottom lip, making Brenda turn to face her as she whispered, "Smile," and because Brenda truly was happy with them, she did.
40. Innocence
Andy watched Brenda lie to her husband, an innocent smile on her lips - he still hated that they had to lie, but he took what he could get, and it didn't hurt thinking about what that mouth would be doing later when Fritz was at home and she was with him at Sharon's condo.
41. Completion
"One day this is going to end," Sharon said as she rolled of Andy, looking up at the ceiling, "Not if you don't want it to," Brenda whispered before she leaned in to kiss her as her hand searched for Andy's.
42. Clouds
A few weeks had went by without Sharon seeing either of them, and one day she found herself on her balcony, looking up at the clouds in the night sky as she drank a glass of Merlot (she did that whenever she missed Brenda), trying to figure out how she had fallen in love with two very, very wrong people.
43. Sky
On that same night, Andy and Brenda were at a crime scene, Brenda arguing with her FBI liaison husband and Andy trying to keep his anger to a normal level as he fought the urge to step in; not only was that inappropriate, he knew Brenda could handle him on her own.
44. Heaven
It was Sharon's birthday and Brenda couldn't find a way to get away from Fritz, so Andy had taken her out to dinner even though she said she wasn't in the mood, and when they ended up in her bed later, he could tell something was missing; usually it felt like he was in heaven, but Sharon wasn't there and he couldn't connect to someone who was only there physically.
45. Hell
Everything at work had been putting a strain on things with the three of them; things with Fritz were so bad that they were both making excuses to be out of the house, Andy was hanging out at bars with Provenza and flirting with younger women, and Sharon had started to slowly close herself in again.
46. Sun
Watching the setting sun, Brenda wondered if things were really over - Fritz was going to DC for a few months, but she knew that was his way of leaving without having to hurt her, and she and Andy had been alone and he called her 'chief', and even though Sharon was helping her with everything going on at work, they hadn't had any personal contact in a long time - so Brenda wondered if just like that her entire life was really starting to crumble as she just stood there, unable to stop it.
47. Moon
Sharon was finishing up some last minute paperwork before she was going to get to bed, but then her phone vibrated, an incoming message, "I wish you were here with me," it said with a picture of the moon - she tried her hardest not to reply, but she did and ended up leaving her condo instead of going to bed.
48. Waves
When Sharon stepped out of her car, Andy was parking his, and together they walked over to where Brenda was sitting on the sand; she looked up at them, a sad look in her eyes as she pulled Sharon down to sit next to her and then Andy to sit on the other side - that night they sat there and listened to the waves crash against the rocks, barely saying a word because they all felt the same ending approaching them.
49. Hair
As Andy pressed his lips to Brenda's, soft and gentle, it felt like goodbye; when Brenda brushed hair from Sharon's shoulder and kissed it tenderly, Sharon had a hard time believing the words she was saying; when Andy's hands slid up Sharon's back, she knew it would be the last time - but when Sharon woke up to Brenda's hair tickling her skin as she kissed a path to her lips, she wondered if maybe they were going to continue going on, pretending they weren't all hurting.
50. Supernova
"Supernova, please," a young, blonde woman with brown eyes ordered as she sat down at the bar, smiling as she looked at Sharon, licking lips that reminded her of Andy's - what started out as comfort for two had easily turned into an odd arrangement for three, but at some point it had all fallen apart, leaving them all searching for what they once had - "Can I buy you a drink?" the woman asked, and because Sharon just wanted to forget, she nodded her head and accepted the offer.
The End.