Pretending

You knock the dummy down with one round house kick, making it land with loud thud. Sighing, you grab your towel and water bottle, wiping your forehead and gulping down water simultaneously. Dusk was descending to darkness and everyone was getting ready for bed but you decided to go train for a few more hours. As squad leader, responsibilities for the rookies made your schedule fill up. Especially since you are named 2nd best squad leader of the Survey Corps, right below Levi Heichou. You respected him so much. You idolized him. You never went against his authority. And for some particular reason, he liked you. Not like like. But he never seemed harsh or cold with you often. You set the water bottle down and sigh, recapping all the progress you made through this extra training.

"(y/n) Heichou~"

You turned your head and saw Hanji. Ever since you've been named 2nd best squad leader everyone in the Survey Corps called you heichou because of your close entitlement to Levi.

"Hai?"

"Still training? Wow you're so persistent."

"Call it what you like. I just call it progress."

Hanji sighed, "Geez, you're so stubborn."

"And I should care how?"

"And you're so much like Levi."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Both of you are so stubborn and closed. No wonder you like him."

Hearing that, your eyes dilated, "What?! No! I don't!"

Hanji smiled, realizing she hit a nerve, "Oh that surprises you more than me?"

"I would never! I-"

"Oh c'mon there's nothing wrong with a girl being in love."

You blush, "I don't have anything like that. To him, I'm just any brat in the Survey Corps."

"That's what he thinks of everyone."

"Point taken, but I don't have any feelings for him like that."

Hanji pouted, "C'mon. Stop this pretending thing of yours."

"I'm not pretending. Now stop pushing and go play with the Titans."

"Fine, maybe I can't get you to admit now. But I will someday!"

"Heichou! HELP ME!" a soldier soldier screamed.

You looksback as you finish killing an Abbernet. The soldier calling for you was in the hand of a 15 meter class with his mouth almost open. You jumped onto the ledge, sprinting near the Titan, and swinging yourself with the vertical maneuver gear to the Titan's shoulders, and then grabbing two blades, you land on the titans neck, and tear a flesh out, the Titan's mouth wide open but the soldier not in his mouth, fell over. Swinging over to the Titan's hand you cut it's fingers off and release the soldier, carrying him with you as you swing back to the ledge.

"Are you okay?"

The soldier on his knees tearing up said in anger, "I can't believe I had to ask the heichou for help. Thank you Heichou! I feel disgraced."

Kneeling down, you say, "Stand up. We're not done here."

"But-"

"Is your gear still functional?"

"Y-Yes."

"Good then fight."

You run to kill another Abbernet in the distance. Little did you know a certain someone was watching you fight the entire time.

You attach the last pin thoroughly to the net and sigh as Hanji stood there clapping at the fully netted and captured 15 meter class Titan.

Hanji drooled, "He's beautiful! I'll name him Greg!"

Rolling your eyes, you walk back to your horse, stroking its mane and just thought of all the deaths you just saw. Too many died just for our sake. And all you could do was save one. All the countless titans you killed seemed pointless compared to the people died.

Hanji, noticing your frown, came over, "Something wrong?"

"Too many die everyday we go out to fight. We realize how hard it is yet we still do it because it's right. But doing the right thing feels so wrong sometimes. Erwin overcame the feeling of wrongness. He sacrifices so much because it's the only way for change."

Hanji nods, "You can too."

"How?"

"Well for starters, you can stop hiding from your feelings for Levi-"

Growling you respond, "I don't have anything like that for the captain for the last time!"

"C'mon it's not that hard to tell him. Besides it's the right thing to do."

"No it's not," you argued, realizing the heat going to your face, "and I don't like him."

Hanji smirked, "I can see your blushing."

You cover your face, "Stop it."

"Awwww! So you do like him!"

"Hanji, shut up."

"Levi x (y/n) sitting in a tree. K-"

You cover her mouth, "Shut up! He's right there!" you hiss pointing at Levi talking to Erwin.

Hanji breaks away from your grasps and giggles, "Awww c'mon (y/n) you have to give it up now. Admit it."

Blushing, you say, "Alright, yes maybe I do."

"Yes! I knew it!"

"But that doesn't mean I'm telling him."

"(y/n), it's the right thing to do."

"No it's not. The only thing it will do is embarrass him."

"What happened to you? I thought you just said doing the right thing feels wrong but you have to do it anyway!"

Growling you just walk away from her.

Hanji shouts, "You can't keep pretending. It's never going to work."

2 days later...

You knock the dummy down with a blow from your right fist in anger. All day you've been doing extra training just to take your mind off of what Hanji said. She was right. and she got you. And you hate that she did. All this time you've been denying your feelings afraid of ever letting things. Since then you've avoided contact with him as much as you can. Though it was kinda hard.

~Flashback~

Levi came up to you and said, "Here are some more papers to fill out."

You take them nervously, "Thank you sir."

Turning around and walking quickly, he stopped you, "Something wrong, (y/n)?"

You bite your lip as you stop and turn your head, "N-no sir."

"You know after we were done with another expedition, you seemed like you were in a fight with Hanji, something she said to you anger you?"

You gulp, "N-no sir."

"Then why were you two fighting?"

"S-she w-was just mad that I didn't catch an Abbernet Titan instead of a normal Titan."

Levi sighed, "That's Hanji for you."

You laugh nervously.

"Alright, get those papers done, alright."

"Yes, sir."

~Flashback end~

Gulping down more water you sigh, thinking how close that was. As you stood up to pic your stuff up, Levi walked in and then you froze, shaking, not knowing what to do. His cold expression still on his face.

"Have a minute?"

You gulp afraid to say something wrong, "Y-yeah."

He sits down with you on the bench, "Wow, you destroyed all the training dummies."

"Sorry. I'll pay the expenses-"

"No need."

"Why's that?"

"You impress me with your combat skills."

"You were watching sir?"

"Yeah, creep you out?"

"No, I've had stalkers an robbers go through my window at night."

Levi smirked, "That might explain your combat skills."

"Yeah..."

A short silence fell until you spoke nervously, "I'm guessing you didn't come here for just chit chat huh?"

"How can you tell?"

"C'mon. I know you Heichou."

Levi smiled, "Too well."

You laughed a little. "So what is it that you came here for?"

Levi stretched his back, "Don't take this the wrong way, but earlier why did you lie to me?"

You gulped, "Sorry what?"

"I asked Hanji about the Abbernet Titan catching argument. She claims she never said that to you."

You feel blood rush to your face.

He continued, "Now I could've just asked Hanji for the real reason for you two arguing but I decided that you should tell me."

"I...I..."

"There's no point in lying anymore, (y/n). Tell me now." he said quite sternly.

Realizing you should just give in, you sigh, "Can I show you? Rather than tell you."

"What do you mean?'

"I guess it's too hard for me to say it. But I'll show you the truth."

"Show or tell doesn't matter, just give me an honest answer."

Gulping you nervously lean in, confusing him. You realize this was actually harder than saying it, but it was too late so you just planted your lips on his for a moment, a taste of wine in his lips. He responded after a few moments of shock, forcing you to continue the kiss. In your own disbelief, you actually kissed the captain. The audacity! But for some reason kissing just felt like it kept you from focusing on anything else except for the person you were kissing. Breaking away for air, you look into his dark eyes, looking for any emotion.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking," you reply, blushing a crimson in your cheeks.

Levi just said, "You weren't thinking. You were just answering my question."

"I know...I..."

Levi suddenly held your hand, you look up realizing the blush in his face too, "So why did you decide to tell me now?"

"I was holding back."

"Why?"

"I didn't think it was right. A squad leader liking someone higher than her own authority. I thought I was just any soldier to you. I was afraid of making the wrong choice and embarrassing you. So I held back. And I lied to you for that reason."

Levi sighed, "I'm guessing the argument you and Hanji had was about your feelings."

You nod. A slow nervous nod. Waiting just for him to reject you and leave you heart broken and guilty and feeling stupid for making the choice of telling him, he just pulled you into a hug.

"Heichou?" you ask.

"You're not the only one."

"What?"

"It seems weird for me to like someone. But I kept hiding my feelings for you because I thought I was just a leader to you. I thought you only respected me and treated me kindly only because I was your captain. So I kept layering my feelings to keep myself from hurting you."

He smirks, "I guess were both 2 idiots sick in love yet we don't know it."

You laugh, "Yeah."

Levi, hesitating, kisses your cheek, "Can I call you my girlfriend?"

Blushing, you respond, "Of course."