Inside of her, inside of me
This is my first attempt at a Bones fic. Just my own take on the moments after "A Change in the Game."
"I'm pregnant." The words sounded like any other as she spoke them: factual and rational. But on her face I read remorse. I saw a woman terrified to share this news with the man she had finally admitted to loving. I held my breath, bracing myself for the worst, preparing myself mentally for the battle between love and loyalty. "You're the father," she said.
At last I exhaled, the joy of this moment filling me up. And although a smile began to tug at the corners of my mouth I felt an ache in the pit of my stomach that moved up the sides of my gut as the guilt of my own selfish decisions began to eat me up inside. I made her look that scared and that hurt.
I had put my own desires before hers that night when she came to my bed and trusted me with her entirety. She had cried into my chest and let me press soft kisses into her hair, then she looked deep into my eyes and met my lips when I brought her to me for deep kiss. "Can this be our moment?" she'd pleaded, with her body so close to mine that I could feel her pulse speed up as she spoke. I'd answered her request with a long kiss, pulling her even closer to me and wrapping myself around her. I had touched every inch of her skin with every inch of mine and she'd trusted me with her body and her heart. Then the moment came that we pressed our most intimate depths together, and although it had crossed my mind, I couldn't bring myself to allow anything to separate me from her. She had welcomed me, surrounding me in her sweet touch and sharing with me something I had longed for so long.
As she fell asleep in my arms that night my mind had cleared, my thoughts drifting to the possibility of a child binding us together forever. I drew soft hearts on her hip bones with my fingertip and imagined ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes and one passionate heart. I thought of a new life that I could love before it even began, of a life that would symbolize my love for this woman and promise us a future together. I fell asleep that night thanking God for the gift he'd given me, and asking him for another.
On the sidewalk on a moist spring evening my prayers were answered. But, I couldn't stop the gnawing inside of me. And then she smiled. Her whole face filled with light and she looked into my eyes, releasing a breath but at a loss for words. I wrapped her in my arms and kissed her mouth, our lips still tight with smiles but somehow able to say what neither of us could with words.
"We're going to have a baby?" The question sounded silly as it slipped from my mouth. I held her shoulders with my hands, afraid to let go of her even for a moment.
She bobbed her head. "It would appear that way."
"This… I… I am so happy."
She let out half a chuckle, the smile still on her face feeding my excitement. "I am showing physiological signs of distress."
I laughed. "That's gonna happen, I think. But it's okay. We're going to do this together."
"Okay," she seceded.
"Okay." I flashed her a smile as I wrapped an arm over her shoulders and led her down the sidewalk through the cool night air.