Part 11: Revelations
By Splash
"The truth will set you free…"
"Revelations" picks up where last episode left off—Scott is still around and so is Sophie's mom. I will be sending a few students home soon, as well as a counselor (not necessarily in this ep.) Adoption will be a major thread herein—a lighter side of this slightly depressing chapter. Finally Peter and Sophie get to that talk. This is just the beginning of Sophie's saga… It will unfold slowly.
We are building for a major revelation from Sarah's past and an emergency that requires Graham to leave Horizon for an undetermined period of time. This will come in the next few parts.
As always I look forward to your comments! Thanks!
Ezra was pacing nervously outside the Ranger's girl's dorm obviously waiting for someone. In a few minutes, Alexis appeared jogging down the stairs with her walkman on music blaring through the headphones. She passed right behind Ezra, who was so wrapped in thought that he would have missed her had he turned around a second later.
"Alexis? Wait up!" Ezra called. Alexis didn't hear him over the beat of her music and Ezra wasn't quite fast enough to catch her. He ran as hard as he could and managed to grab at her jacket before his strength gave out. She stopped abruptly and Ezra almost crashed into her.
"What the? Ezra you trying to kill yourself? I think there would be a better way," Alexis snapped. She was annoyed that her run was being interrupted.
"No. Just give me a sec…" Ezra tried to catch his breath. "Patrick said he found your parents."
"He told you?" she asked indignantly.
"Well he said he could help me find mine too. I didn't believe him. So? Did he find them?"
"Just my mom's name. That's all so far. He said he'd keep looking though. I think he used the Internet somehow," Alexis explained.
"Yeah, he said he could try for me too… I just don't know if I'm ready. My adoptive parents aren't a great source of compassion or love these days. All they do is fight with each other. I don't want to end up finding that my birth parents don't want me either."
"Huh?" Alexis was curious now—up to this point she just thought Ezra was another pain in the butt. Maybe there was a good story here—Alexis always liked good gossip. It was the only inherently female trait about her that didn't drive her crazy.
"They adopted me to try and save their marriage. It didn't work very well. Their marriage still failed and they failed me. It would be too much to go through again," Ezra stated matter-of-factly.
"He could just get you the info then you would have the choice to find them or not. That's all I want—to be given the choice. I'm tired of people telling me that I'd be better off or should wait until I'm older… I want to know," Alexis fumed.
"Maybe you should discuss it with Peter first," Ezra suggested trying to be helpful.
"What would he know?" She snapped.
"Discuss what with me?" Peter said having over heard Alexis. He had come up on the two students from behind. Not intentionally eaves dropping, but hearing Ezra none-the-less.
"Nothing…" Alexis growled storming off.
"Ez? Want to fill me in on what just happened?" Peter asked with heightened curiosity. Ezra was silent for a moment before continuing.
"Peter what do you really think about me finding my birth parents?" Ezra asked changing the subject some.
"We've talked about this before. It's your choice, but keep in mind you are not the only party involved. It affects your adoptive parents and your birth parents too. They might not be ready to meet you yet. You have to be ready to deal with that if it happens."
"Tell that to Alexis…" Ezra muttered.
"Ezra, did Alexis find out who her birth parents are?"
"Look I should never had said anything…"
"It's ok... I'll talk to her myself," Peter said realizing it wasn't worth trying to ask Ezra to snitch on another student. "Look, Ezra, only you can make this decision. I'm here if you want to talk it over," Peter said trying to comfort Ezra.
"Thanks Peter."
Ezra wandered off in a daze thinking about the possibilities. If I found them what would they be like. Would they have other kids now? Would they want to meet me? What if they don't? Could I handle the rejection? What if they are totally screwed up? It might explain why I do the things I do sometimes… All of these thoughts and more ran through his head over and over making him dizzy. He wanted to find his birth parents and have them want him back… He wanted for them to say it had all been a big mistake… He wanted this so badly he could almost taste it.
Back in the lodge, Peter was still concerned about Grace, but the new admit was waiting. He had left Sophie in charge of admitting the new boy, Mark. Mark was another victim of divorced parents showing signs of depression and not eating. His grades had dropped and he had become belligerent with his parents. They didn't know why so they sent him here to straighten him out. Peter thought, "more like to not have to deal with the kids problems themselves." Peter felt that some of the kids parents had looked for the quick fix—out of sight out of mind—more so lately with the new group of kids. Maybe he was getting more cynical these days. He hadn't spent as much time with the Rangers as he would have liked in the past few months. He trusted Sarah and Graham to handle them. "Enough!" he thought. All this thinking was making Peter too crazy, so he went off in search of Sophie to check on the new student.
Mark was sitting in the lobby of the admin building waiting for Sophie to finish talking with his dad. He was relieved that his brothers and his step-mom had not come. In a lot of ways he was surprised that his father had agreed to this seeing as Grace was here at horizon as well. Mark figured that his dad would have thought this a bad idea, since he and Grace had been so close before she left. Dad was always accusing him of ignoring the rest of the family. He tried to push these thoughts out of his mind. He would be safe here, in so far as he was away from his older brothers, and that was all that mattered, for now. Anyway, the school hadn't mentioned anything about Grace during the admit process—so maybe they didn't even realize the two were related—even if only through his dad's most recent marriage.
Grace had avoided Peter all day. She knew he wanted to see her but she was worried he might have figured out her secret. She wasn't ready for that so she asked Lindsay to come with her figuring that she might be able to avoid a confrontation if there was another student around. They two girls walked casually into the admin building. Grace froze in her tracks when she saw Mark. She looked around for her mother.
"Grace? Wow I'm so glad to see you!" Mark practically shouted. Grace motioned to him to be quiet.
""What are you doing here?" She whispered.
"Dad got tired of dealing with my attitude. He thought it needed some adjusting so he's dumping me here. He wants this marriage to be perfect and we were screwing up the plans. Too bad he couldn't just have gotten rid of the other two…"
"Tell me about it. Is my mom here?" She asked fearfully.
"No she stayed at home this time. Figured she'd give you more time to "adjust". So… How are you? This place agreeing with you?" Mark asked Grace. Grace was too stressed to sugar coat her news with small talk, so she just started.
"Not so good. Mark, you have to promise to keep this a secret. OK?"
"What is Grace? What's wrong –you in trouble here?" Mark asked with a panicked look on his face.
"Sort-of. They could send me home if they found out… Look Mark," she whispered, "I'm pregnant."
"What?" Then he stopped remembering that another girl had come in with Grace. He looked from Lindsay back to his step-sister as if to ask whether it was ok to speak in front of this girl.
"Mark it's ok she won't tell anyone. It's safe to talk around her. She knows enough." Mark deferred to her judgement—he always had ever since they had become family.
"Oh Grace. This is all my fault… If I'd only stood up for myself. I am weak—just like dad said. I'm so… damn! What are you going to do?" Mark almost started crying. He was beside himself with guilt and shame. He started over and over in his head thinking "I am so weak. Dad was right. I am a wimp. If only I had been strong…"
Grace spoke again finally after giving his question some thought. She hadn't really considered her options. She was pregnant, but it hadn't sunk in that there would be a child coming out at some point who would have to be dealt with or cared for…
"Have the baby I guess. I can't have an abortion. I won't! But mom can never know."
A moment later, Peter emerged from the office to get Mark. He saw Grace and Lindsay waiting there and figured that Grace had finally come to talk to him. The three teenagers quickly stopped talking.
"Hi Grace. Can you wait a few minutes—I want to finish with Mark and then I would like to talk to you, OK?" Peter pressed.
"I can come back—really. I have some work I need to do for history class. I'll come back when you're done," Grace said while backing up out of the lodge. She was glad to have a way out.
"Grace…" Peter called after her. He had too much going on right now to chase her down—it would have to wait again.
"Lindsay, did you want to see me?" Peter asked with little conviction. He was stretched thin and it was showing. Between worrying over Grace, Sophie's mom, Scott's visit and the new admit… He needed some time to himself.
"Oh, no. Just saw Grace in here and wanted to ask her about the history assignment," Lindsay lied.
"OK…" Peter was confused and knew something was up with those two, but again he didn't have the time right now to figure it out.
"Alright then. Mark we've assigned you to the Cliffhanger's group. Sophie will be your counselor and I will get Auggie to show you around. Why don't you come back in with me and say bye to your dad?" Peter suggested.
"If it's ok with you, I'd rather not. Just get this done with. I'm sure he's eager to get back to the family… or whatever…" Mark said, his voice oozing with sarcasm.
"OK… If that's what you want? Lindsay why don't you take Mark to the lounge and find Auggie?" Peter asked.
"Sure no problem. You ready?" She turned and asked Mark.
"Ready as ever… I guess," he said tentatively.
Peter watched the two students walk through the door. Strange, he thought. Mark's attitude had gone from belligerent on arrival, according to Sophie, to apathetic as Peter had just witnessed. He shook it off and went back to the office to tell the father that his son didn't want to say goodbye.
Back outside Mark and Lindsay ran to catch up with Grace who had stopped by the wood pile to catch her breath. She was pacing furiously, nervous about Mark and Peter. This might not be so good, Mark's being here. She now had to protect his secret as well as her own, which was getting harder to do each day. She ran her hand over her stomach slowly. She was really beginning to show—soon even her baggy clothes wouldn't be able to hide the bulge of a child growing inside her. As risky as it had been to go into town for the ultrasound—she was sure it had been for the best. At least she could rest some knowing the baby was fine.
"Grace!" Lindsay called.
"What happened after I left?" Grace asked impatiently.
"Don't worry it seemed ok. That Peter guy didn't seem to realize we knew each other," Mark explained.
"Don't underestimate Peter," Grace warned. "Wouldn't your dad have said something?"
"He didn't when I was around and there was nothing about it in my file. Sophie left it behind when she stepped out of the room for a minute to take a call, and I looked. Nothing about you anywhere."
"Well he didn't come when mom brought me and since I never changed my last name, maybe they didn't figure. We have the same address—you'd think they'd notice…" she said sarcastically. They all laughed a little and the tension between Grace and Mark eased slightly.
"Hey. I'll leave you two to catch up." Lindsay chirped knowing Grace wanted to be alone with Mark for a while. "I'll go find Auggie and tell him you'll meet him at dinner. Grace will point him out to you. OK?"
"Sure... Thanks, Lindsay—for everything," Grace answered and Lindsay headed off to the main lodge.
"So when did you figure out you were pregnant?" Mark asked bluntly.
"About a month ago. Look Mark, there are bigger things going on here we need to talk about... (She looked at him and he just shrugged—Grace had always been the one to take control) First, Lindsay will keep her mouth shut as long as I ask her too. We can count on that, but otherwise we're on our own. If Peter or another counselor finds out I'm pregnant I'll be sent back home and then things will get really ugly. Especially since your brothers will try to blame this on you—like it was you who knocked me up or something," Grace explained. Mark just stared at her incredulously. He had never thought of this possibility. It would be just like them too to turn it on him. Although he did wish that it had been him who got Grace pregnant—at least he wouldn't have forced her to have sex and he would stick around to help her through no matter what. Then he realized that was exactly what he'd do—he'd stick by her through it all—if she'd let him. Grace continued talking.
"It will help that you are in another group—we can't let them know that we knew each other before horizon. They'd ask too many questions. I'm going to try and figure out what to do with the baby and where I could go if I had to leave here. I wrote to Andie Barnett. Remember her? She was in the class ahead of us last year—her family moved to Seattle. Her cousin came to live with them a few years back—she was like 19 and pregnant—Andie's parents were pretty cool about the whole thing. They put the baby up for adoption and everything. I guess I could try there first. Regardless of what happens—you can't say anything. OK? You have to swear."
"Yeah I promise… but you won't be able to hide it much longer…" Mark said stating the obvious.
"No shit..." she spat sarcastically. "I don't have much time, but I'll figure something. Until then not a word."
Mark managed to nod in agreement. He had enough to deal with trying to avoid his own issues. Sophie had pushed almost relentlessly earlier during the check-in. He would have his hands full there—he wasn't as strong as Grace. The two walked slowly to the dining hall. Both relieved and worried—relieved they were out of that house—worried about what would come next.
Later at dinner Mark introduced himself to the rest of the cliffhangers. Grace had shown him his dorm and he had already unpacked before finding Auggie. Mark was happy that Auggie hadn't taken too much of an interest in his existence. There was something going on that Mark had missed, besides the last year with the Cliffhangers. It would be hard to be part of this group they were so tight, but Mark didn't care too much as long as they left him alone.
Auggie got up from the dinner table and cleared his tray without saying a word to anyone. Jules followed him concerned.
"Aug? What's going on?" Julliette whined. "You seem so distracted."
"Yeah. Got a lot on my mind."
"Anything I can help with?" Jules asked playfully.
"Yes and no. Look twig. We need to talk."
"You sound serious…" Jules said concerned.
"It's pretty serious."
By this time the two had wandered out into the yard and had settled around the fire pit to keep warm.
"Jules. My dad got a new job."
"That's great Auggie! Is that what's been bugging you?"
"There's more to it, Jules. Just hear me out…" Auggie pleaded. He loved her cheery disposition most of the time, but this wasn't one of those times. "My dad got a new job, and a big raise. The only catch is that the job is in Colorado."
"Oh. But you'll still stay here, right?" Jules asked.
Auggie didn't answer right away and Jules started to get anxious. She started to ask him again, but he interrupted.
"Look Jules. My mom found this school that's supposed to be for kids who are good at art but not so great in school. Kinda like me. They want me to come home. The pressures that used to be there—the reasons I got into trouble in the first place are gone. They miss me…" Auggie's voice trailed off he missed them too, but he didn't want to upset Juliette.
"So you're leaving?" Jules asked anxiously.
"I haven't decided. Peter and my parents left the decision to me."
"Don't I have any say?"
"Jules, it's complicated…"
"What you don't love me enough? You want me to go through what Shelby did when Scott left?" Julliette asked frantically.
"Calm down twig. Look I said I hadn't decided yet. Anyway look at Shelby now. She's doing ok and Scott is really doing well at home."
"Shelby's still sad. She'd never admit it…"
"I'd miss you so much, but we'd only be like a day's drive, and I wouldn't be leaving until after the holidays… This is a big deal for me, Jules. Can you be a little happy?" Auggie was tired. He didn't want to fight with her, but she could be so immature sometimes.
"Fine." Julliette said sharply. "You take your time. Meanwhile if you want my opinion?"
"I do Jules… you know that…" he said quietly.
"You should stay. Peter and Sophie can help you with the dyslexia and you can do your art here too… Not to mention I'm here…" Julliette said. It was final, Jules would hear no more arguing tonight. Auggie hugged her and kissed her forehead gently. He would have been worried about how she would react if he did leave, but right now he was more worried about what she would do tonight knowing he might leave. Jules was complicated and took things too personally. She had to realize that this wasn't about her—it was about his future. He watched her head up the stairs into the girl's dorm. Auggie spotted Shelby on the other side of the yard, just past Patrick and Ezra. He headed over to ask her to keep an eye on Julliette that night.
Patrick and Ezra were so wrapped up in their conversation they didn't notice Auggie pass by in a hurry. They were talking about what Patrick had uncovered looking for Alexis' birth mother.
"Look Ez. I know you were unsure, but I found them," Patrick said carefully holding the packet of papers behind his back. "It's your choice, man. You can look at this or burn it…"
Patrick handed the packet to Ezra who hesitated. Ezra looked at the envelope like it was a trick—unsure it was real, desperately wanting to touch it. He had to step back and take a deep breath. He left Patrick holding the package.
"I thought I was ready…"
"I'm not sure I'd be ready if it was me… But it's not. So… Then again—knowing what's in here would change a lot…" Patrick didn't mean to tempt Ezra, but he also didn't want him to pass up this chance. Not like Patrick couldn't find the info again. Knowing what he did about Ezra's birth parents made Patrick want to tell Ezra everything. At least the fear that they wouldn't want to meet him was totally unfounded, they had been looking for Ezra for the last three years… But it was Ezra' choice and Patrick waited patiently.
"Look, I can hold on to these for a while—let you think on it…"
"No," Ezra said suddenly. "I want to know now." He took the package from Patrick and it was clear he was nervous about opening it.
"Look you want to be alone for this?" Patrick asked.
"Should I be?" Ezra knew that Patrick knew everything.
"I think you'll be pleasantly surprised…" Patrick said trying to encourage him, but not give it all away. If Ezra didn't hurry up Patrick felt like he might just blurt it all out. At least it was good news—he was worried about telling Alexis what he had found out about her mother… That was not good news…
Just then Peter came across the yard and stopped by the two students.
"Ezra. Patrick. Almost lights out… What's up?" Peter asked.
"Uh nothing… I was just heading back to my dorm. Talk to you later, Ez?" Patrick asked not waiting for an answer. Ezra was left holding the folder, staring at it, and then back at Peter.
"Ez? You ok?"
"Yes. (pause) No. Here." Ezra thrust the package at Peter.
"What's this?"
"My birth parents…"
"What? I thought you had decided to wait?"
"Uh well things went faster than I thought… I just… I'm scared to look inside… to find out…"
"Ez. You don't have to… I can hold on to these if you want."
"No. I want to know."
"Now?"
"I couldn't sleep other wise…"
"Why don't we go to my office then? We can open it there…"
"Fine…" Ezra was in a daze at this point—he couldn't believe that he had just decided to open the package when yesterday he wanted nothing do to with them… If only… There were so many things… They headed into Peter's office and the door closed behind them.
"Pssst… Dais…" Sam whispered from behind the woodpile.
"What? Why are you hiding back there?" Daisy asked scrunching her face up.
"Wanted to catch you before curfew. Peter was just out here a sec. ago rounding up strays… So I dodged behind the shed." He explained working his way out of his hiding place. Sam walked over to Daisy and took her hand gently in his.
Taken aback, Daisy jerked her hand back to her side and quickly looked around to make sure no one had seen.
"Ok… I won't hold your hand… But I don't get it, what's up?" Sam asked.
"I thought I made it clear I didn't want a relationship," Daisy snapped.
"Yeah, but then you kissed me again, so I figured holding hands in private might be acceptable?" Sam smiled. She laughed—Daisy was busted and she knew it.
"Point. Look I'm kind of new at this whole thing," she admitted innocently.
"Just a couple of rookies!" Sam joked, moving closer and putting his hands on her hips. He felt her start to pull away and he relaxed his hold on her, but she surprised him by stepping closer and resting her head on his chest.
Daisy could feel Sam's heart pounding in his chest. He was breathing was rhythmic and soft. She felt warm and safe in his arms. She trembled, slightly nervous about the feelings that had stirred inside when he put his arms around her. She wanted to give in and kiss him, but she couldn't. She was too scared to give up the control she had exerted on her emotions for the last few years. It was too hard to feel. Feeling this moment of happiness, letting it sink in, would only make her face the hurt she had experienced her whole life.
Sam smiled when she put her head on his chest. He had worried that he had acted too quickly, that his feelings were too strong, but he felt better now. Daisy was so beautiful and soft behind her exterior shell. He let his right hand wander up her back and touch her hair. It was so soft. He kissed the top of her head softly, inhaling deeply. She smelled fresh, like flowers. He hadn't expected that—not that he expected her to smell bad, just not so… so distinctly feminine.
She felt him kiss the top of her head and it sent shivers down her spine, in a good way. She looked up at him and smiled. He looked directly in her eyes, not wavering—she almost looked away, but instead kissed him softly on the lips, watching his eyes as she did so.
He continued to gaze into her eyes for only a moment longer. He was lost in her kiss and unconsciously closed his eyes. When they both came up for air, he opened them again and smiled gently, trying to reassure her that everything was OK. She hugged him quickly and then stepped back away. He caught her hand before she could get completely free of his touch.
"Thank you," he mouthed.
"For what?" Daisy asked confused.
"For trusting me…" Sam said softly. Daisy just smiled and looked to the ground. She did trust him, and strangely enough she trusted herself with him.
"I should go—it's late…" Daisy announced.
"Sweet dreams," Sam offered smiling. He let her hand slip slowly out of his. Watching her every move, and her eyes, for answers to unasked questions.
"Thanks," Daisy smiled almost unable to contain her feelings. She turned quickly and headed to the dorm without looking back. Sam watched her go into the darkness and sat down on the ground to revel in the bliss of the last few moments.
Daisy was in her own world and didn't even notice Scott step out from the gazebo.
"Daisy?"
She jumped.
"Shhh... It's just me, Scott. Didn't mean to scare you…" He whispered.
"Scared the crap out of me! How long have you been out here?" She hissed as quietly as possible.
"A while…" Scott admitted.
"Did you…?" Daisy stopped. She didn't want to know if he had seen her kissing Sam.
"Sort of…" Scott started. "Look Dais. I don't want to judge or anything, but does Ezra know?"
"About Sam and me? No… I… We haven't told anyone."
"Not even Shelby?"
"Especially not Shelby. She's having enough trouble dealing with you being gone—don't need to rub it in her face that I've found someone a bit more local. If you get my drift." Daisy explained bluntly.
"I guess, but I think she'll be pretty pissed if you don't tell her. And if she finds out through the grapevine…"
"Unless you're planning on starting a rumor—there won't be a grapevine. Got it?" Daisy threatened.
Scott laughed, "Don't worry, I won't tell... (After a poignant pause) Looks good on you, you know…"
"What?" Daisy asked perplexed.
"Romance…"
"You better keep your mouth shut," she bullied, pointing her finger at him. Scott just laughed to himself. Daisy still wouldn't allow herself to show her feelings. At least some things hadn't changed, he thought. He put his arm around her as a peace offering and walked her back to the dorm. She let him guide her but kept her arms crossed tight in front of her.
Back at his house, Peter was trying to be quiet so as not to wake Sophie. She was sleeping so soundly, her hair glistening in the rays of moonlight that fell through the crack between the curtains. He paused and smiled at her peaceful face. He was tired—it had been a long day. He slipped into bed trying to reclaim some of the covers that Sophie was so tightly wrapped in. It was useless, so he wrapped himself around her. She was so warm, so soft… Peter was so tired… He dozed off quickly.
Sophie awoke in the middle of the night noticing the heavy arm draped over her chest and the hot breath in her ear. Peter was sleeping soundly. "He must have gotten home late", she thought, "else he would have woken me up to say good night. I wonder what might have kept him so late… I hope everyone is ok." She tried to roll over but found she was trapped in a tangle of sheets. She started to unwind them from around her, but in the process woke up Peter.
"Hey you... Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you," Sophie said quietly, leaning over to kiss him.
"That's ok—I haven't been asleep too long. I wouldn't mind some of those covers though," Peter teased.
"Nope all mine!" Sophie quipped playfully.
"We'll see about that…" Peter said as he pounced, tickling Sophie until she cried for mercy.
"Enough! I give up they're all yours!" Sophie said between laughing and trying to breathe.
"I'll share…" Peter said childishly, pulling her closer and kissing her passionately on the lips.
"Ummm, glad I woke you up…" Sophie started, "Hey, why didn't you wake me when you got home?"
"Thought you looked so sweet sleeping there; I didn't have the heart. Not to mention I had a tough night and was ready to sleep," Peter confessed.
"Tough night? What happened?" Sophie asked.
"Ezra found his birth parents," Peter admitted frankly.
"He what? How?"
"I don't know how—he wouldn't say, just that he was ready to know."
"But just the other day he wasn't ready?" Sophie said confused.
"I know, but tonight he had the information in his hand and said he wanted to know."
"So… what did he find out? I assume he told you." Sophie asked eagerly. She was sitting up now, she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep even if she tried. She wanted to know.
"He let me be there when he read the papers. From what he found, his parents were 16-year old teenagers from a small southern town. Why they gave Ezra up for adoption is unclear, but it seems that they started looking for him three years ago. I guess that's how he found them so quickly. They live in North Carolina. She's a guidance counselor at a local high school and he's an English teacher. They have two kids, six and three…" Peter explained.
"His birthparents got married?"
"There's not too much detail, but it seems that the two got married some years later after having Ezra."
"Wow. How did he take it?"
"In stride. Ezra tends to keep things bottled up, but he promised he wouldn't do anything rash. I asked Roger to check in on him a couple of times tonight," Peter said with concern in his voice.
"Has he said anything about wanting to meet them," Sophie pushed.
"We talked about that too, but I suggested he give it some time. It must be hard, giving up a child," Peter sighed.
"I couldn't imagine… I guess I won't have to though," Sophie said sadly.
"Oh Soph. I'm sorry. I didn't…"
"It's OK Peter, I can't melt down completely every time I talk about it. I have to face it," Sophie offered matter-of-factly.
"All this talk of finding birth parents and we haven't even discussed the option of us adopting," Peter started trying to broach the subject gently.
"Between my mother and everything else going on, we haven't talked about much lately. Besides work…"
"How is mom?"
"Well, I told her about you…"
"Huh?" Peter was surprised. He figured she knew. Then it dawned on him—that's why Sophie moved her stuff out of my room so hastily when her mom arrived—she hadn't told her
mom that she was living with someone…
"Peter, I'm sorry… I was going to tell you before, but…"
"Shhhh, It's ok. I know you and your mom have a rough relationship. It just helps to know where I stand…" Peter said not intending to sound so harsh. Sophie sighed. She hadn't been completely honest with him about her past or her mom.
"It's complicated… Mom and I never saw eye to eye. We were always fighting with each other when I was younger. It all started when my grandfather got sick. I was about eight…" Sophie started. She was having trouble now remembering exactly why she had fought so hard with her mom for all those years. Aside from her mother always pushing Sophie to be perfect, what had been the reason… Peter took her in his arms and let her rest her back on his chest. He felt so warm against her skin.
"I had never met my grandfather. Mom had married my dad against his wishes. I don't exactly know why he didn't approve; I was too young. We lived far away from where she grew up. I guess my mom and dad moved as far away as possible when they got married. One night my mom got a call that her father was gravely ill. I remember it distinctly. It was the last time I saw my dad…" Sophie couldn't continue. The tears, the memories, she had forgotten how she felt that night. She had been torn away from her father so suddenly.
Peter felt her crying in his arms. She had never opened up to him about her childhood before, and he knew not to push. He just held her gently kissing her softly on her temple. Reassuring her that he was there for her.
She knew Peter was being patient—more so than usual. She longed to tell Peter yet feared remembering that night. The pain had stayed with her for a long time after leaving her home and her father. She had bottled it up tight, pushing it deep inside, in order to move forward. Some of her inability to stay in one place for a long time stemmed from her fear of remembering her past.
"Grandpa needed mom's help. He couldn't take care of himself anymore and she was the only family he had. He loathed that she had left and married my dad. Even more so that they had had a child together. Strangely though he didn't hate me, but he expected little of me. My mother on the other hand was expected to be perfect.
"Mom put away everything that reminded her of dad. Whenever I brought the subject up she just snapped at me to be quiet and turned to criticize something I was doing, or had done. The longer I stayed there the more I heard my grandfather in her when she scolded me. He was never pleased with anything she did. She gave up her life to take care of him, but it would never be enough…" Sophie stopped here. As a child she hadn't realized why her mother was so hard on her. Remembering back it made some sense, but that didn't ease the hurt she had bottled up for years. It was silent for a while longer before Peter spoke up.
"How were things today with her?" Peter asked wondering how the visit was going so far.
"As good as could be expected. She still acts like I'm not doing anything right with my life. She was offended that I hadn't told her I was dating someone—I fear what she will say when I tell her I'm living with you and that we're engaged…"
"You haven't told her?"
"Peter, it's not easy…" Sophie started to cry again.
"Soph. It's ok. We can tell her together…" Peter suggested. Sophie tensed up at this and turned to face Peter.
"I'm not sure we should rush into telling her… Maybe we should wait…"
"Sophie not telling her can only make things worse. You can't put it off too much longer if we're still thinking about getting married over the holidays. It's only a few months away. You want her there don't you?"
"I hadn't planned on it…"
"She's you mother, Soph." Peter said trying to reason with her.
"Peter, not tonight, please. I can't do this right now…" Sophie pleaded.
"Fine. Not tonight, but I'm not letting it drop. It affects the two of us, and our future. I want for you to be happy and at peace with your past before we start our future…"
"Are you at peace with your past?" Sophie asked smartly.
"You know I have my demons, but I'm working on them, with your help…" Peter smiled.
"Peter, you're my rock… my touchstone… but I can't…"
"So let me help… I love you Sophie Becker."
"I know," She said smiling through her tears. "I know…"
They fell asleep tight in each other's arms. They slept fitfully dreaming about past, present and future.
Next morning the birds were chirping long before the alarm managed to wake anyone up. Peter was restless all night after their talk and had woken up with the birds. He was in the kitchen making coffee, worried about Sophie. He wanted things to be instantly better with her mom, but he knew there were no quick fixes—it would all take time. He wondered if she had told her mom about not being able to have children… He figured that topic could wait for a while—first concentrate on telling her mom they were going to get married. That is if she still wanted to… Peter shook that thought out of his head. He knew she loved him—this wasn't a sign that she was getting cold feet. This he was sure of—he had to be.
Sophie wandered in, still half asleep.
"You're up early…"
"Couldn't sleep, didn't want to wake you…"
"Didn't sleep too well myself. Kept thinking about Ezra," She said trying to stay off the topic of her mother.
"What about?" Peter was game. She was avoiding one subject, but he had something else to discuss with her.
"How I'd handle it if I had an adopted child. The whole birth parent thing. To tell or not to tell… It seems like such a tough choice and the repercussions could go either way," Sophie started.
"What do you mean?"
"Just that as adoptive parents, you could have a kid hate you because you never told it that it was adopted, or you could have a kid that knows and finds the parents causing a whole new set of problems."
"That's kind of pessimistic don't you think? We'd be lucky first of all to adopt a child. Second, I think he or she has a right to know. No secrets, right? As for finding and meeting the birth parents—I would hope I'd be confident enough to let my kid choose and support his or her decision…"
"Peter, be real. Wouldn't you feel betrayed, or frightened of loosing them?" Sophie asked. This was her true fear: adopting a child and then having the birth parents want it back, or worse yet, the child wanting more to live with the birth parents and not her.
"Life is full of chances. I can't let my fears stop me from living… and I can't deny my child the right to know where he came from…" Peter explained. While he was concerned about Ezra finding his parents, it was more because he was worried he might get hurt. Ezra had been through enough already and he didn't need further heartbreak. But Peter recognized that it was Ezra's choice and he would support him regardless.
"I guess I have no choice but to accept that. Since I can't have my own kids… Adoption is the only option. What would you think about the birth parents playing a role in the kid's life?" Sophie asked curious.
"I hadn't given that much thought. I guess it would depend on the parent and the circumstances behind the need to give the child up. Unfortunately, some people don't want kids but end up having them anyway. I couldn't see someone like that wanting to play a part, but someone like…" Peter thought, "someone like Grace." He hadn't told Sophie yet since he hadn't confronted Grace yet, but since the doctor was positive that she was pregnant the truth would come out soon enough.
"Someone like what? Who? Peter?" Sophie asked trying to bring him back to earth.
"The doctor came by school the other day," Peter started.
"What does that have to do with this conversation," she asked harshly.
"Soph. Please? Let me finish," Peter said slightly irritated at her impatience. "She was worried about a student who had come into the clinic last week for some tests."
"We took a kid into town?" Sophie was confused, she was usually aware of most of the student's doctor visits.
"No apparently she went on her own and we didn't notice her missing…" Peter was still amazed that Grace hadn't gotten caught on her way into town or on her way back.
"She? Who is it Peter? Is she ok?"
"It's Grace. And she's pregnant."
"What?!? Pregnant? You sure?"
"Doctor was sure. That's enough for me. Not to mention the morning sickness and dizzy spells. We missed the writing on the walls," Peter explained plainfully.
"Wow. I had no idea. What are you going to do? Do her parents know? How far along?" Sophie bombarded Peter with questions.
"One at a time… I haven't decided what the best course of action is. The doctor was afraid it might have been rape, maybe a family member. She's about 3-3.5 months pregnant so it would have happened just before she left. Might be the reason she started acting out so suddenly. So sending her home might not be a good idea. We don't have enough evidence to make a report. We're purely speculating. I haven't had a chance to confront her. She avoided me all day."
"If we can't send her home, then what?"
"We'll cross that bridge when we get there, but Horizon is not equipped to handle pregnant teens. I'm planning on looking into a few places that are. Just in case." Peter wasn't confident that this would end well. He had a gut feeling that something was bad at home. He didn't quite know why, but he was determined to find out.
"Do you want me to talk to her?" Sophie offered.
"I think it would be best if Sarah and I handled this one. Since she doesn't know you that well. I may need reinforcements though. I'll keep you posted. Oh, and I haven't told Sarah yet, so be discreet," Peter suggested.
"No problem. I won't say anything," she promised.
Sophie was already lost in thought. Grace was 3-3.5 months pregnant, so she was due in April sometime. Peter and Sophie were planning on getting married in December. It might be possible… Maybe… Sophie couldn't afford to get her hopes up like that, but it would be a perfect solution. Grace would most likely give the baby up for adoption wouldn't she? Then again maybe not… Sophie was stopped mid-thought by the phone ringing.
"Who is it Peter?"
"Soph. It's your mom…"
"Oh. I'll take it in here," Sophie yelled picking up the phone. "Good morning mother."
Sophie dreaded their looming conversation…
Coming up next:
Mark and Grace spend a lot of time together. Sarah is suspicious. Peter confronts Grace, but she won't talk. Sophie and her mom duel it out. Cliffhangers say goodbye to Scott… Grace considers her options and her choice might not be a wise one. Mark falls into a deep depression and acts rashly. Sarah remembers when…