For my NCIS family, haga!
Disclaimer: Nothing
Today is not her day. It starts with the usual grunt from Gibbs to grab their gear. As they approach the crime scene in the van, they see a guy running in jeans and a sweatshirt. Without much thought, Ziva begins to open the door forcing McGee to slow down as she jumps out and starts chasing him. Even though Tony and Gibbs are following in the car behind them, she makes the quick decision. She hears to car spin in the opposite direction. Ziva doesn't run that much because she loses him. She gets a little angry with herself until Tony calls and informs her they are bringing him to NCIS. With that it leaves McGee and Ziva to process the scene.
Naturally, this happens on a Friday so there is no way Ziva is leaving early. She sits down at her desk to type up her notes. DiNozzo and McGee just left to meet Abby for drinks, she nods as they walk out. Silently suggesting she may meet them when this is over.
Gibbs is still at his desk. "Ziver, don't do anything like that again."
She looks at her boss, "I did not want him to get away."
"We would have found him, anyway."
"I know." And with that, Gibbs gets up, grabs his coat and heads to the elevator. As he passes her desk, he stops and says, "Don't stay too late," and continues on. She spends another thirty minutes then decides she's done. She clicks save on her document, stands up, grabs her bag and heads out.
Ziva sighs as she leans against the apartment door. She couldn't seem to open the door fast enough. She feels drained. As she steps into the apartment, Ziva throws her jacket onto the couch and drops her bag. She immediately heads to the kitchen and opens the fridge. The food is sparse except some grapes, expired milk and a take out container from a place around the corner. Looks like she'll drink her dinner as she scans the counter and spots an unopened bottle of red wine. Ziva uncorks the bottle, reaches up to grab a glass and makes her way to the bathroom.
She undresses while intermittently taking sips of her wine as the bathtub fills. As she sets her foot into the tub she recalls growing up with Tali. They bathed together sometimes when a water ban was in effect, this way no extra was used; it made it easy and more efficient. Tali loved it, always splashing the water while laughing about getting Ziva's face wet. It was endless amusement, even her mother was not safe from the splashing. Because of this, Ziva never got to enjoy the luxury of lounging in the tub.
Tonight, she has time and plenty of room. Her hands dance on the top of bubble created foam; she trys to keep some foam on her fingers. This brings her back to a trip to the Mediterranean, she would have been about twelve. Come here, Ziva. It's too hot on the sand. Get your feet wet. Dive in. That time they spent all their time at the beach, her father was absent but her mother dismissed it as he was busy workng. She never thought any different until she realized later on that her father would be absent from most trips.
With this, she reaches her hand beside her to pick up her wine glass. She is going to need more than one glass tonight. She can't stop the memories from seeping in. She has to let them in, they are what shape her. She can't bury them any longer. Ziva's immediate family is gone – the memories were all she had left. A single tear falls from her cheek and mixes in with the bath water. She lost track of how many times she has cried over her family, she supposes there shouldn't be a tally. She wants to blame the tears on the previous work week but that isn't fair.
"Hello?" She calls out as she hears a noise. "Hello?"
The footprints find their way to her. There's a weak knock as the door opens. "I had a feeling you'd be in here."
"I thought you were out with Abby and McGee."
"I came to change. Is that alright?"
"This is your apartment, Tony. You are free to do what you like."
"Then why are you here?" He says with a smile.
"You have a clawfoot tub."
"I've never been used for my tub before."
"There is a first time for everything."
"Will you be here when I get back?"
"Of course." She replys matter of factly. "I do not understand why you and Gibbs will not let me stay at my apartment."
"Too risky."
"I am fine."
Tony doesn't directly respond to that question. He just nods, "I will see you later then." and turns to walk away but stop and glances back at Ziva, laughing he says "Don't get all wrinkly, David."
She hears the front door shut. Ziva holds up her hand to examine it. It's wrinkly. She stands up, wrapping her hair loosely on the top of her head, then proceeds to envelop herself into the warm bamboo towel hanging on the rack next to the tub.
As Ziva pats her body dry, the dim sconces perched on the walls made the room that much warmer. As she stands in the mirror, the light refracts from the mirror highlighting the delicate silver chain that hangs from her neck. She sits on the edge of the tub and thinks of her father.
Ziva was wearing a light blue dress stubbornly sitting her bedroom. Her mother didn't knock as she opened to the door, "Ziva, we have to go or we are going to be late."
"I am waiting for Abba."
Her mother ignored her response. "My darling, he had to work but he wanted me to give this to you. Do you want to open it now?"
She nodded.
Her mother obliged and handed her a wrapped box.
Her mother sat next to her as she slowly unwrapped the leather cord tied around the light blue packaging similar to the color of the dress for her bat mitzvah. She ripped open the paper revealing a dark brown jewelry box. She glanced at her mother as she opened it.
There was a simple gold necklace strung with a Star of David pendant.
Inside the box was a note: Ziva, May you always be protected – Abba
Not that she and her father reminisces all that much – because he doesn't have as many memories of her childhood – she would give anything to ask him if he liked the beach or not. She imagines he took her mother there on their honeymoon. Her mother used to talk about the early days and how her father would dote on her. But that changed, their lives separated, their goals were different. Ziva's father loved something that in the end didn't love him back – his country. Her mother did stay for as long as she could. Ziva is privy to the struggle her mother carried on her shoulders. In one ear, Ziva was told to live and be happy for herself while the in the other ear, it was duty, honor and patriotism. She couldn't remember that last time the voices in her head were quiet.
Her phone rings. Abby. "I thought you were coming out for a drink with us", Abby sings into the phone. The background noise makes it difficult for understand anything she is saying. Though she thinks she hears DiNozzo saying, "I told you, Abbs."
"I am going to stay in tonight. I have some stuff to do."
"We are more fun than stuff." Abby disconnects. She puts the phone down and walks to Tony's room. She sees her open suitcase and notices she doesn't have many clothes left. She makes a mental note to remind her partner they have to stop off at her place tomorrow. She settles for a green tank top and some yoga pants. She dresses and makes her way back to the the living room. Before she reaches it though, she stops and looks into the mirrors that cover Tony's closet doors. Her hand subconsciously traces the chain adorning her neck. She feels naked in the moment; exposed as if Tony is looking at her through the glass.
She walks around the black leather couch searching for a movie to watch. Even though, she hasn't seen many of the movies that adorn these shelves, she decides perhaps sleep is the best option.
Ziva retraces her steps to the bedroom. She pulls the covers down and climbs into the safe, warm bed of Tony. She reaches to her book sitting on the table to the left of the bed. A simple bookmark sticks out to remind her where she left off. She ignores the bookmark and instead thumbs through the pages until she finds what she wants.
"He held up a book then. "I'm going to read it to you for relax."
"Does it have any sports in it?"
"Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Poison. True Love. Hate. Revenge. Giants. Hunters. Bad men. Good men. Beautifulest Ladies. Snakes. Spiders... Pain. Death. Brave men. Cowardly men. Strongest men. Chases. Escapes. Lies. Truths. Passion. Miracles."
"Sounds okay," I said and I kind of closed my eyes."
She reads the passage aloud to an empty room. Ziva knows that all these things exist as she is privy to their existence on a daily basis. Today, she wants to think about the good. Her mind wanders to Tony.
Ziva opened the door to her partner. Tony had a grin on his face. "Hello!"
"Hi," He said coyly. She sidestepped to the right so Tony could walk in.
"Are you hungry?"
"Is that a rhetorical question, David? I am always hungry."
"Fair point. Let me grab my coat and we can head out."
As she tried to leave the room, Tony touched her arm to stop her. She winced. "Sorry. Wait a second, I have something for you."
She just stood there. He handed her a white bag. She reached out and met him halfway. She removed the white tissue and she felt a box. Ziva paused for a moment then removed it from its bag. She opened the box and laying in the case was a silver necklace and a Star of David pendant.
She glanced at Tony.
"I bought this in case you didn't have another one. I figured you had the same ratio of necklaces to coats."
"You should talk. You have more sunglasses than I have coats. Thank you, Tony. This means a lot."
"I know the other one you had was gold but I thought you could use a change." She smiled and handed the necklace to Tony to clasp it around her neck. He obliged. Ziva's hand traced this new necklace around.
"Thank you."
Ziva is good at masking the pain she feels, especially at work. Saturday morning fills up with leftover paperwork, DiNozzo's antics and no new cases. She feels Tony's eyes staring at her. If she acknowledges him, she is telling him she is not fine and he trying to make her feel better.
"It's about time for another coffee and a stretch. David, you coming?" Ziva knows that was Tony's code for I-know-how-you-are-really-feeling, she excuses herself from the equation by pretending to finish a report that is already submitted. "I want to finish this report."
McGee jumps in, "I'm ready for another, Tony." Ziva is focus continues to be the computer screen but she smirks the moment he jumps in.
Tony knows when he had been defeated. "Let's go."
Ziva let out a sigh when she heard the elevator doors ding. She looks at the clock on her computer screen revealing that Team Gibbs has another couple hours at NCIS.
With the squad room essentially empty her thoughts float back to her father. She thinks about the times she let him down. She thinks about her former life. She thinks about her aliyah. She thinks about her strength. She thinks about her courage to challenge her father. She thinks about the time her father turned his back on her. She thinks that despite all the misgivings, her father was proud of her. She thinks her father later admired Tony for standing up to him and for protecting her when he had failed it. She thinks she will be alright.
She was stripped of her clothes, they were searched for bugs then burned. She was given another set which were too big. Ziva's hands and feet were bound, then they left her in the cell that had a small window where she could see the hot sunlight poke through. Everyday, she was tortured for information about NCIS. She had been trained for this, it was about survival. Whether they planned to kill her now or later – it bought her a little more time.
On the seventeenth day, Saleem came to her and wanted information. She continued to be stone-faced. His hand reached to her neck. She thought that would be a painful way to die, but it was effective. His hand traced the necklace down to the Star of David. He forcibly removed it from its resting place. Ziva could not reveal the sadness or nakedness that one swift move left her in.
"There is nothing to protect you now. You are hiding behind a religion that does not care about you." He spat. "When will you learn? You are all the same."
She thought about responding but she was weak. The consequences were too great. Saleem approached the cell door and looked back at her. He tucked the necklace into his pocket and continued on his way.
Ziva had never felt more alone. Vulnerability was not something she was comfortable with. She wanted to weep for the necklace; the one special gift from her father.
From her position now, she did not deserve to be protected anymore. She lost that privilege when Michael was killed. She was operating on her own volition. She was solely responsible for the penance she was hoping to find. It was justifiable.
The smell of coffee vanquishes her memory. "I spoil you," sputters out of her partner's mouth as he places a chocolate muffin next to her cup. Tony wants her to realize he took the initiative to surprise her with a treat. Ziva acknowledges him with a smile as she unwraps the wax paper from the muffin.
She and Tony hide behind half-truths because it's easier than confronting or rather comfirming what they each already know. They need each other; even when that need is filled with rage and thoughts of hatefulness. They never truly can hate each other. Simply, their feelings are directly correlated to the situations they are dealt with. In the past, they have hurt each other forever etching those moments in their memories.
Tony is different now. Not in a bad way, of course, but more grown-up. Sure, he has his moments where Ziva just rolls her eyes but they are trusting each other now, implicitly. There are situations in which Ziva does not want to involve Tony not because she does not trust him but its to protect him. He understands this, though it's difficult to comprehend. Tony makes jokes about it, signalling his acceptance. Ziva knows she is not alone.
Excerpt from The Princess Bride