Disclaimer: Doctor Who owns my soul, I own nothing.
Thanks To: Sinecure for the beta
Author's Notes: Written for Sinecure for Xmas.

"Doctor?" Rose called out, voice calm and carefully neutral.

There was a loud hissing sound, a bang, and then some rather colorful cursing, though she couldn't really be certain exactly what it was the Doctor was saying. The TARDIS, it turned out, was a bit of a prude when it came to vulgar language, and insisted on translating curses into a foreign tongue.

As if that made them any less vulgar.

Rose chuckled, though it came out sounding strained. She was nervous, had never done anything like this before. Not with the Doctor, or anyone else for that matter. Keeping secrets was not one of her strong points. It was hard enough waiting until Christmas morning for her mum to open the presents Rose had got her.

And this? This was bigger than a simple 'you're the best mum in the world' mug, or even the pair of earrings Jackie had been eyeing for months one Christmas three years ago. This was--

"What is it, Rose?" the Doctor asked, voice muffled, and she pictured the sonic screwdriver caught between his lips. Used to talking to him through repairs--it was, after all, how most of their conversations took place--she didn't have to stop to decipher what he was saying.

Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she plunged forward, letting the words flow out of her mouth before she could chicken out. "Finished yet?"

A grumbled hum was the only response she got.

"Well, hurry it up then. I got the tree up and the decorations out. I just need your help."

There was a pause in the banging, in which she could only imagine the startled look gracing his pretty-boy face. "Tree? Decorations--" His voice was tinged with confusion. "Rose, It's not Christmas."

The certainty in his words almost made her turn on her heels and run, no, walk--but very, very fast--back to her room, forgetting all about this little plan of hers. But she'd come prepared for any eventuality and this was one of the easier ones to deal with.

"It's like you said, time is relative, yeah? It's...it's wibbly-wobbly and days don't go in any sort of order. Yesterday is happening today and next Thursday happened two weeks ago." She paused, running that back over in her mind again, making sure it made sense. Which it didn't, but that was probably as good an indicator that she'd got it right as any. "So, somewhere, some-when, it's Christmas right now," she finished lamely, feeling heat rush to her cheeks.

The following silence was deafening, and stretched out for far longer than any other she'd ever experienced while in the presence of the Doctor. Nerves already rattled, she didn't think she could take much more of the suspense, and was just about to leave when he finally spoke up.

"Yeah. Okay." He'd removed the sonic screwdriver from his mouth, his words coming out clearer, less muffled. "Just give me a tic to finish this wire."

OOO

A few minutes later, the Doctor pulled himself out from under the console and started off down the hall in pursuit of Rose. He sighed deeply, dragging his feet as he went. No, he wasn't being overly-dramatic or pouty. He was a Time Lord and Time Lords did not do dramatic, especially overly-dramatic.

Nor did they do pouty.

It was just...well, couldn't she pick a better time to spring this sort of thing on him? Like not when he's in the middle of repairs, or chasing down evil aliens, or reading, or eating, or--

Okay, so there wasn't really any good time to accost him for a little holiday cheer. But it wasn't even Christmas yet. Of course, he couldn't deny her logic. She learned fast, his Rose, and her explanation was so spot on, it sounded like it'd come directly from him.

The door to the study was ajar and he could hear, before he even entered, that it was quiet, the lightning dimmed and muted. There, in the center of the room, was a large half-decorated, half-bare tree. Where she'd found a Christmas tree was beyond him, but he'd play along, if only because he knew it'd bring a smile to her face. Something he'd been missing for days now.

Ever since Mr. Mickey left.

Sweeping his gaze over the room, he found boxes marked 'decorations' in big, black, block lettering sitting next to the small fireplace that he loved so much, but barely ever used. It was lit now, logs of wood crackling and popping, shooting out sparks every few seconds.

This was...cozy if did say so himself. A bit domestic however, and that made him cringe just a little bit. But if this was what Rose wanted...the Doctor scratched nervously at his ear. He'd never been able to deny her anything.

Entering the room fully, letting the door swing shut behind him, a twinkle of light caught the Doctor's attention and he turned his head. There, standing next to his overstuffed chair, in what he was sure was supposed to be a seductive pose, was Rose. She was naked but for a garland of tinsel wrapped strategically around her fire warmed-body.

Speechless, and not a little turned on, the Doctor opened his mouth to say something, then quickly snapped it closed, only to repeat the action again. He was sputtering, like a fish out of water, and this was not a very dignified, Time Lord response, but seeing her there, a fantasy made real, he couldn't manage a single coherent thought.

Then she was moving toward him. All that naked flesh...her face a pout of desire.

"Could you help?" she asked, seemingly ignorant to his unease.

Brilliant, genius mind turned to mush, all he could manage was, "I...ah..."

Rose sighed. Deeply. He knew because it exaggerated the rise and fall of her chest greatly. Not that he was looking.

"Doctor, I need your help." Leveling her gaze on him, she waited until his eyes rose to hers. "I can't..." She twisted her arms behind her. "The damn thing's knotted and I can't get it off."

It took him nine-point-eight seconds for her words to register, fifteen seconds for him to translate them into something he understood, then only another three for him to realize that, what had started off as a plan for seduction, had turned into something far less enjoyable than that. The way she'd been standing by his chair, chest puffed out, one leg slightly in front of the other, hadn't been an attempt at a sexy pose, but her trying to get as much leverage as possible to grasp at the tinsel wound around her back. The look on her face? More a grimace than what he'd originally thought.

Oh, and the fire-warmed flesh? His gaze traveled down her body and he started to laugh.

"Oi," Rose huffed, glaring at him. "Help now, laugh later please."

"Right," he chuckled. Then, seeing the flash of anger on her face, quickly got himself back under control. "I'll just...get some lotion for that rash. Back in a flash." He grinned at her, and then rushed out the door and into hall before she could stop him.

He only made it halfway to the med bay before he fell against a wall, laughing so hard he saw stars.