The day my mother died my life turned upside down. I was only six at the time. After that day I was completely different. I became distant from everyone and put up an act to guard myself. Losing her was incredibly painful. You might think that a six year old child doesn't understand death, but you're wrong. I did. I was her world, and she was mine. Don't get me wrong, I loved my father too. I love both of them with all my heart, but losing her broke me. I kept my feelings bottled up. That was a huge mistake. Probably one of the biggest mistakes of my life, aside from sleeping with Boone.
I tried to move on with life, but I couldn't. It was too hard. Things became even worse when my father married Sabrina Carlisle, my stepmother and Boone's mother. His father died when he was six, at least we had something in common. I was eight years old when our parents married and he was ten. I had been an only child so it was odd to have a brother out of the clear blue. I adapted to Boone though. We were constantly fighting with each other, but that is how siblings are. I was fine with it for the most part, but as we grew older it started to become more and more hurtful. I could never get along with Sabrina from the moment we met. She hated me instantly and she abused me as a child.
When I was 15 years old my father passed away. My life became a living hell. Sabrina and I fought more and more often as did Boone and I. I couldn't take it any longer, I emancipated myself when I turned 16. It was the easiest decision I ever made. I knew I had to get away from Sabrina. I lost all form of contact with her, but I still kept contact with Boone. I had grown to love him. Not in the way he loved me though, he was in love with me. Even though we had no blood relations I still found it creepy. I thought of him as my brother and not just my stepbrother. My father had been very wealthy, but I never ended up with one cent of the money. Sabrina kept it all for herself and Boone. In order to take care of myself I started to sing in clubs and what not for money. When I was 18 I moved to France for a year. I spent most of the year singing and getting drunk.
I started dating the wrong men. Abusive men. I couldn't help but fall into their traps of deceit. Fortunately, Boone would rescue me from them. He did that two times, and then I found out how he was doing it. He would pay them to leave me. I thought of a way to use it to my advantage. I was on a trip in Sydney, Australia and I found this guy. I asked him if he would pretend to be my abusive boyfriend so I could get my stepbrother to come and pay him off to leave me. I told him all about how Sabrina screwed me over after my father died. I said he could share in the money if he helped me, he agreed to it. So one day I called Boone on his cellphone and acted distraught. I then proceeded to start screaming and yelling at Brian to "get the hell away from me". Boone was of course worried and told me that he would come get me. I told him where I was and sure enough, the next day there he was. I had to make it real so I had Brian hit me so that I would have a bruise. When Boone arrived I acted as if nothing was wrong so that Brian wouldn't catch on, and then I flashed him the bruise. Boone fell for it. The next day he went down to the marina where Brian worked and paid him 50,000 to leave me.
Later, he showed up at Brian's apartment and told me to get my things. That's where my plan fell apart. Brian was there and told him everything, they then got into a fight. Later that day Brian left with the money. As Boone put it "The player got played." I guess I deserved it, but no where as much as Sabrina does. I showed up at Boone's hotel room hammered. I made a huge mistake that night, one that I would rather not go into detail about.
The next day we hopped on board that doomed flight. Oceanic Flight 815. As you probably know the plane crashed on Mystery Frickin' Crap hole Island where I lived for 3 years. Even though the island was tropical there was a polar bear. The polar bear hooked up with a boar and produced a polar boar baby. I never found out how the hell that was possible, but apparently it was. The island was a crazy place. Being stuck with Boone was no picnic either. He did everything in his power to make me feel inadequate. He once me completely useless, looking back on it I don't understand why I let it upset me so much. After all this was coming from God's Friggin Gift to Humanity and not say Sayid or Jack for example. Oh Sayid. Sayid was the best thing about the island. He didn't think that I was useless. He was the only person who saw the real me. He saw through my act that I put up. Sayid saw my full potential. I loved him for that. Why am i saying loved? I still love him. I'm acting as if he's dead. He's not. He's asleep on the bed. Sayid is such a handsome man with a beautiful soul. I'd die for him and I know he would do the same for me.
Sayid almost did die because of me. The polar bear that I mentioned earlier attacked me when I was in the jungle. I was looking for the perfect spot to tell Sayid that I love him, when all of a sudden the bear jumped at me. I ran screaming and Sayid heard me. He ran and found me and threw a knife at the bear. The polar bear immediately turned its attention to Sayid and attacked him. Sayid was able to stab and kill the bear, though he was greatly wounded and I thought that I lost him. I started to cry and scream. I heard foot steps and then Jack appeared. He saw how upset I was and immediately helped me carry Sayid back to campe where he treated Sayid's wounds. Thanks to Jack my Sayid is still a live. Jack never looked at me the same way after that day. He realized that I am more than I appear.
It's been exactly one year since we were rescued. A lot has changed. While on the island I have to mine and Sayid's first child, a girl who we named Nashanna. That was Sayid's mother's name. Only myself, Sayid, Nashanna, Boone, Walt, and Jack and his daughter survived. Sayid and I adopted Walt. I bonded with him after Michael died. I knew how he felt. We love Walt as if he were our child. Jack and his daughter live with us. He was destroyed when Kate died during child birth and thought it was only appropriate to name their daughter after her. Jack is so kind, he is actually a lot like my Sayid.
I miss the island some times. No one there judged my relationship with Sayid, they all saw the beauty in it. Even Sawyer. Here, in the real world, we are being judged all the time, as is Walt. I'm always hearing the snide remarks in reference to Sayid's race. I hate the fact that Nashanna and Walt will have to be victims to racism when they are older, but it is inevitable. At least Nashanna will always know that she has parents who lover and each other. Walt has lost both of his biological parents. Soon they will have a little brother. I love being pregnant, I can't help but smile all the time, especially at my Sayid.