The Fever

Summary: 1-shot. Sam's fever gets the best of him while Dean's out. Passing out, he wakes up to a voice that he wasn't expecting & has a talk that he's only dreamed of having. *Angsty/hurt/fevered!Sam* Spoilers for 08x21 The Great Escapist.

Warning/Spoilers: No warnings but it does contain spoilers for

Tags: 08x21 The Great Escapist.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. This is written for enjoyment.

SPN SPN SPN SPN

Ears ringing, body shaking from the heat or cold that had been plaguing him for days while his blurry eyes seemed to be spinning more than focusing, Sam Winchester's fevered brain knew deep inside that he was in trouble.

Dean had left him to rest while he searched for clues but something had drawn Sam out of their room with the intent to move down the hall once he'd seen the manager dropping off boxes of books outside a room.

The ringing had gotten worse as well as his ability to stand so Sam had tried to hurry back to the room to call Dean, needing to tell his brother that he thought he'd found the reason for their trip to Colorado. Sam was firm that he'd found Metatron, the scribe of God.

He'd just gotten his phone out to hit speed dial when things went white with a rushing roar in his ears then it all went black with that he thought was his brother's voice shouting in his ear.

"Sam? Sammy? Wake up, Sam."

Knowing he was burning with a raging fever Sam really didn't feel like waking up especially when it wasn't the deep voice of his brother calling him out of blissful cool sleep but a soft female one.

Struggling to open his eyes to find the woman calling to him, Sam tried to place the voice since it seemed so familiar to him.

"Sammy? Wake up now, love."

His already rapidly beating heart gave a quick stutter as it suddenly clicked for him who the voice belonged to and glassy hazel eyes snapped open only to hiss as bright light blinded him until he slowly could see again and what he saw stunned him.

Green grass, brilliant blue sky shining over what appeared to be a park with a sandbox, swings and more importantly as he gazed around, Sam locked eyes with… "Mom?"

Mary Winchester smiled a soft smile as she stepped toward Sam, not seeming upset when his instinctive move was to tense and step back. "Hello, Sam."

For Sam, his only real memory of his mother was either from the few photos they still had or the time he and Dean had returned to Lawrence and her ghost had saved them. He'd also seen her younger self once from a trip back in time but he still couldn't place why this was happening or where he was.

"I used to take you and your brother to this park in the afternoon," Mary replied as if seeing his unasked questions, looking toward the swings. "Dean would want to hold you while he'd swing since he always said you wanted to swing. I'd let him hold you while I held you both and we'd swing."

This was his Mother as she'd appeared in their old house except she was in jeans and a blouse. Her long blond hair blew in the slight wind which also seemed to blow Sam's hair into his face and Mary laughed while reaching up to brush it back.

"Dean hadn't tried to cut this yet?" she smiled at the way his eyes rolled and could guess where he'd picked that habit up from. "Sit with me, Sam."

Holding his breath for a moment, Sam could feel the coolness of his mother's hand as she led him to a bench by the swings. "You're not real," he knew this. "I'm sick, fevered and I fell and probably hit my head so you're not real."

"Well, you got your father's pragmatic side I see," Mary sighed with a loving smile, squeezing his hand. "As for not being real, that depends on what you need or want. You're sick, Sam."

"As Dean's always reminding me," Sam muttered, wincing at the sharp look that tone earned him. "Sorry, Mom. It just gets annoying. He won't listen to me that I'm not going to get better until we do the third trial and even then I'm not sure if I will. I feel…odd now," he looked over with sad, tired eyes. "I had such high hopes that I could really do this and I will, I will do this and make Dean proud of me, Mom. I'll do this to make right everything I've made wrong."

Listening to the sadness in her son's voice made Mary's heart ache. "Sam, you haven't done anything wrong. It wasn't your fault what happened to you, honey. I made the deal that brought the demon into our house and I never should've left you alone that night," she shook her head as she remembered all too well the night it had all gone wrong. "I was your Mother and I should've protected you. I should've protected both of you boys."

"You died protecting me, Mom," Sam returned, only have the memories that he'd been shown of the night in his nursery. "Sometimes I wish you would've taken Dean's advice and left Dad or…"

"I never regretted my choice to have you and Dean, Sam," Mary interrupted firmly, running a gentle hand over his face and even in his dream she could feel the fever raging on his skin. "I can't even say I regret making the deal because if I hadn't your father would've died and despite what you and Dean have been told I did love John, even when he made me crazy."

Standing a little shakily to wonder toward the swings, Sam paused to look back. "Will I live through this?" he asked suddenly, voicing his silent fear finally. "I know I told Dean we'd both make it out but…I keep hearing this ringing and I can feel something changing in me. What am I becoming, Mom?"

Wishing she knew the full answer to that, Mary could only shake her head. "I don't know the answer to any of that, Sam," she admitted regretfully, seeing the range of emotion on his face until it finally settled on what he hoped was a brave front even though she could tell inside her baby boy was breaking. "I only know that you and Dean have survived a lot of things that you weren't supposed to.

"Your brother will protect you, Sam. Dean's been protecting you since you were still inside me so I know that your brother will do what he has to in order to keep you safe," Mary just hoped it didn't require the ultimate sacrifice of either of her boys to finish what they were never supposed to do.

Looking up at the blue sky a piece of Sam wondered how many more times he'd get to see it since with every bad spell he could feel his body giving out more. "I remember when I was little, when Dad would take a break from hunting, he'd bring me and Dean to a playground and Dean would swing with me," he glanced back at Mary with tear rimmed eyes.

"I've never told him how much I remember from my childhood now. It used to be so cloudy or just focused on the bad parts but since I started getting like this, it's like I can see it all and I miss Dad…I miss the occasionally happy boy my brother used to be and I wish that by closing the damn gates I could just go back," Sam bit his lip while clenching his fist. "Just long enough to tell Dad that I understand or to…"

"John was a loving man, Sam. He loved you and Dean with all his heart and even though I know he changed after my death he did still love you," Mary stepped up to take both of his hands and looked up since her youngest son seemed to have gotten quite tall. "We both love you and so, despite not saying it, does your brother."

Shivering suddenly, Sam had to blink when the damn ringing tried to come back. "I'm going to do this trial, Mom. I'm going to prove that I'm not evil or dirty anymore. I can do this and I'll make you all proud," he promised, feeling dizzy and only his mother's hands supporting him kept Sam from falling to the ground. "This is…Mom, don't go yet. I…"

"You're going to be fine, Sammy," Mary assured him, framing his face with her hands while holding his eyes. "You're a Winchester and you have a big brother who will move mountains for you so trust Dean, Sam. Trust your brother, trust in yourself and never let go of that bond that makes you brothers," she told him with tears shining in her own eyes.

As she took in this 6'4" handsome young man Mary could still recall the night he'd been born. She thought of the dreams both she and John had and how easy those had been taken away. How easy her sons had lost their innocence.

"Things will get worse for the both of you but stay strong and always remember who you are," she caught his eyes one last time to smile. "You are mine and John's son. You are Dean's little brother. You are a wonderful, caring, strong man and that's what makes you. Not the little bit of demon blood, not the lies you were told. You can do this because you will always have someone with you to guide you."

Making a face, Sam shivered harder this time and swore he could feel something wet on his skin. "Angels don't really seem to like me, Mom," he pointed out, gasping at the motherly tug to his ear.

"I meant Dean," she chided, rolling her own eyes in a way that was much like her sons own way of doing that. "Dean will be with you and what's meant to happen will. I love you, Sammy."

Closing his eyes as if trying to brand that into his memory, tears slid free. "I…love you too…Mom…"

"Sammy! C'mon, kiddo! Come back to me!"

Ice cold water surrounding him, nearly choking him caused Sam's eyes to snap open and he shot right out of the tub full of ice water with a gasp.

"Sam! Hey!" Dean made a lunge to grab his brother in case he fell but had to duck one flailing arm as Sam struggled to get free of the water. "I came back and you were passed out on the floor. You were burning with a fever of 107 so I had to force it down or you were a goner."

Looking around as if confused, hearing his brother while managing to take the towel Dean held out, Sam could still feel his mother's hands, smell the slight fragrance of her perfume and hear her voice.

The ringing was still there and now he was freezing and sweating for a real reason but some of the pain had lessened by seeing even a fevered dream image of his Mother.

Sam's fears and doubts were still there but he felt better about knowing at least his Mom didn't blame him and that she believed in him even when he had his own doubts but right then he remembered what he'd been doing before passing out and wanted to get his brother to look into it before he forgot or he went out again.

"I found him."

The fever was still there but since Dean wasn't waving around his heat sensor thing at him Sam assumed it wasn't as high and despite the fever, despite the pain or the damn ringing in his ears he was determined to find this Messenger of God and make this right, not only for himself but for his family.

The End

A/NII: I do have a couple others in mind for this episode. This one just popped up after seeing the scene where Sam fell and I wondered what he might see and Mary came up easily. I hope you guys like this and stay tuned for more.