It's been a while, but the memory of their meeting still stands out clearly in her mind.
She wants to forgive him, she really does.
She knows she already has.
Because with Gin, it's just because... Just because.
Just because of his smile.
Just because of his heart, the one he likes to present to the world as deceitful. The one she's sure exists.
Just because of everything he means to her.
Just because.
******
"Eat."
"…"
"If you can faint from hunger, then that obviously means that you have it, right?"
"So…so you have it too?"
"Yep. Just like you. The name's Gin. Pleased ta meet cha."
"Gin…what a strange name…"
******
His smile wasn't deceitful. Of all people, she would know.
Or perhaps it was, but she was the only one who could see through to the truth inside the falsities, the purity beneath that layer of filthy lies.
She knew him. She was the one who had known him longest, who had gone through so much with him…who still owed so much to him that had yet to be repaid.
The one who still couldn't fathom out the 'why' part of his deception, because that was just the way he was. Just because.
She wanted to see him again, to trace his jaw line and trail her fingers along the white ridges of his neck…to brush those silvery strands of hair back away from his eyes.
Silver hair. It gleamed so beautifully in the moonlight.
******
"Nnn? What now? Stoppit."
"But it's so tempting!!! So shiny..."
A quiet, startlingly gentle laugh. He reaches out to tug on her own brilliant orange curls. "Have you ever realized how bad your orange looks against my silver?"
She surveys the color match quietly. Hmm. He's right, but she isn't about to admit that.
"Nope. The contrast is beautiful."
He smiles at her, eyes slanting charmingly upward. "Beautiful, eh?"
A cloud passes overhead…the moon's rays suddenly slant down from the heavens, lending a dreamy, haunting feeling to the scene. They gaze at one another for a long moment, caught in each other's eyes.
His smile gains a sweetly bitter feel.
"Beautiful."
******
He'd never really changed…but he hid the depths of his soul so well that no one could see through the murky depths to the beauty she'd known was there.
She'd seen glimmers of it. Proof.
Proof that he had a heart.
Just because.
******
She slapps away his hand. "I'm okay. Seriously."
"Meh, you don't sound it. I'm just checkin'…" He reaches out another tentative hand. She slaps it away again.
"I'm telling you, I'm OKAY."
"…"
"What? What's with that look…? I don't like it…" She glares at him suspiciously.
And then, in one swift movement, she suddenly finds herself in his arms. They're encircled protectively around her shoulders, pressing her gently but firmly to his chest.
"You were shiverin', and lookin' real cold. So I'm jus' trying ta warm you up!" He grins widely, like a child who found a loophole in a rule his mama set.
She has nothing to say, only nestling in a little deeper against his warm chest.
The corners of his smile inch upwards, just a little bit.
Just a tiny little bit.
******
He was adorable too, really. Cute, and cuddly, and everything besides.
My little albino teddy bear, she would call him. My silver lining.
My eternity.
*******
"Nyaaahhhh, look what I got you!"
She turns around, surprised. "…Wait, what? What's going on?" Her eyes narrow suspiciously.
He holds out his treasure proudly, with a wide, wide grin. "It's a little plushie of me, so that wherever you are, I'll always be there!"
"You narcissistic, conceited son of a something-not-nice-to-say." She turns away, attempting to hide a faint blush that paints itself across her cheeks.
He frowns pathetically, trying to get her to turn around. "But I wanted to be with you for eternity. Since that ain't possible, I went ahead and made this little thing here for ya." He pouts like a little boy, poking her with the head of the plushie. "Come on, take it as your birthday present."
"Birth-WHAT?"
"Birthday. I thought we agreed that the day you met me would be your birthday!" He gives her another happy grin, head tilted charmingly to the side.
She sighs. It's a cute plushie. Why the heck not? She reaches out to grab it, but he grabbs her outstretched arm and pulls her into a tight embrace. He's taken to doing that lot. "Naha! I'm taking this hug as thanks, kay?"
She cannot see the slight sorrow that taints his smile, nor hear the sadness that creeps into his voice.
He holds her for a long time.
Perhaps she did see his decision. Perhaps this was his goodbye. Maybe she chose to think that this was just for her birthday, really. Maybe she just refused to see it.
She smiles. "Thank you, Gin. I'll keep it with me." She tries to escape from his grasp.
He smiles and lets her go, holding her at arms length and poking her playfully on the nose. "Haha, I knew ya'd like it. Remember, eternity!"
******
No, that smile wasn't deceitful. It was filled with a beauty that only she could see.
And yet she hadn't seen his decisions. She hadn't seen that he would do what he did.
Why?
Because with Gin, it was just because.
******
She has his arm in her hands, her blade tickling his throat.
He smiles, tilting his head to the side playfully, throwing a tiny little glance out of the sides of his eyes that she recognizes from earlier days.
Why, hello, Ran-chan, it says. How ya doin'?
She keeps her face from showing her pain, leaving on her unmovable mask of hard determination.
But she knows he sees through it, just as she sees through him.
Time stands still, just for a moment. And the moment freezes into eternity.
And then, suddenly, he's out of her grasp, bathed in a gentle glow of light, his silver hair gleaming and fluttering in the wind…
"You coulda held on to me longer…"
His eyes are apologetic, regretful.
Remember, eternity!
He gives her one last look, some truth and beauty finally glimmering at the surface of his soul. Uncovering himself, just this once. Letting her know how he felt, showing her his pain.
Reassuring her that he cared.
He was weakening himself in front of the world…just for her.
"Gomenasai."
His voice, normally so smooth and sickly sweet, now hushed and tender, pulls at her heartstrings.
He turns away now, his hair rippling gracefully in a slight breeze that rustles past.
Don't go, Gin…
Don't leave me…
Be my eternity.
She drops to her knees, head held up, gazing up at him with pleading eyes.
He's farther off now, drifting farther and farther, not once looking back.
Her tear-filled eyes follow him until he disappears, swallowed up by the darkness he chose over the light.
The darkness he chose to cover up his own light.
Because with Gin, it was just because.