It's Hard When All You See is Red.

Where am I? I can't remember anything and all I can see is red. Red liquid is running down my arms and legs. Everything is fuzzy, almost like I was flying away in the clouds, not a worry in the world, but.. I am worried. How did this happen, why did it happen? Red, It's in my mouth. I can taste it, a warm coppery metallic taste that has my brain doing circles in my head with either confusion or pure hunger. I'm afraid, for the first time in my life I am actually afraid. This has never happened to me before. God the red is everywhere! On my body, in my mouth, on the floor, wait floor? Before I can look around to figure out where I am, I hear a strangled cry. Was someone else here? Did they know what I did, could they tell me? Help me? Cure me of this cursed confusion that has taken over my very being?

Turning around, I see a figure lying on the ground, holding something close to their chest, as if its the most important thing in the world. Theirs even more red now. Its surrounding the figure almost like a beautiful halo, slowly seeping into the wooden floor , staining that red also. My legs didn't want to move but I made them anyway, it was like they knew that this was wrong, that something bad had happened here. As I got closer I could see the figure on the ground was female, beautiful by all standards possible. The red didn't even look like the monster it had looked like earlier. I got closer still, until I was only a hairs length away from her. She wasn't moving, not an eye flutter or a breath, she was still as stone. A goddess preserved forever almost. But as I reach my hand down to touch her arm, maybe to wake this sleeping beauty, the bundle held oh so protectively in her arms moved just a bit. I wouldn't even have noticed it if I were human. But no, I'm a wolf, and I saw that it had moved.

Gently picking up the small bundle of blankets, I moved a piece of fabric out of the way so I could get a better look at what lie underneath. It was a human child, no older than eighteen human months. It must have been the source of the cry. He (as the child was obviously male) must have wanted to gain his mothers attention. Someway. Some how. However, seeing as his mother was chilled to the touch and growing ever stiff, he has been unsuccessful in waking her from her slumber, just as I have. While hugging this young Pup closely, all I can think is who would do such a thing?

Whispering, so silently that the words could barley be heard, I tell the Pup that everything will be alright. We'll wake up his mother, together, and everything will be alright. I tell him that he will be okay, that he will survive to see the beautiful sunrises and the sunsets that come hours later. That he will be able to see every one of them for years and years, until he is an old man, with pups of his own to fend after.

When I looked down at the child, he was stiff in my arms. His eyes.. His marvelous blue eyes were looking right at me; and it scared me when I looked into them, because all I saw was fear. Uncontrollable fear that had me halting in mid sentence. Was this boy afraid of me? What had I done to make him act this way? As I looked back at his mother, a feeling of ….Recognition came to me like a spark in the night. I've seen this all before. Ive felt coldness of the night, invading this small house through the open door that was barley hanging on the the hinges. Maybe it was from when I was in the sky, hearing nothing and seeing only the clouds? Was it I who has caused this angel surrounded in red to become stiff and breathless? Was it I who hurt both the boy and his mother? Did I cause the red to become her halo?

I almost forgot about the child in my arms, and as I looked down at him yet again, he was like his mother, breathless and cold. He was not stiff with fear like he had been moments ago.. No not anymore... I start to rock him, comforting him even though I know he is not here anymore, yet still I continue to rock him back and forth, trying to sooth him. After a long while I set the child next to his mother, surrounded in red, and kiss them both good night.

Have I lost my mind? My sanity?.. My Soul?

Exiting through the broken door, I was left in a forest of trees. They were surrounding me, almost swallowing me up whole. I felt almost claustrophobic here, everything was shrinking and spinning. Round and around, faster and faster, seemingly never ending! It felt like hours until everything stopped and returned to normal. There was red here.. If it was possible I'd say that their was even more here then in the house. Its on the trees, splattered at odd angles and its on the ground in pools. It was like the world wanted to remind me of what I've done, punish me for the sins and uncontrollable actions that I don't even fully remember!

"It's not my fault!"

I just had to scream Im so confused! The red is following me everywhere! Not giving me a chance of peace or a moment to rest my aching lungs. I started running through the forest, dodging trees and jumping over rocks and logs as I went. It felt like I was running from an angry demon. A blood thirsty monster whose only goal was to chase me down to the ends of the Earth and through the very gates of Hell. When in all reality, it was nothing but my imagination. I know this, yet.. I'm still running. It was hours later when I finally stopped at the edge of an old path in the woods. I'm alone.. I don't know what would happen if someone was here with me. Near me, even.

"Ohh what would a bird do if a bird wasn't a bird? Would he..."

That wasn't me singing.. Someone else was here! Walking down the very path as me, coming towards me. Oh no oh no oh no! This cant be happening, not now, not ever! I try to move, to run away like I did my demons, but my feet felt like they were ten feet down, buried in all the dirt and leaves making it impossible to move!

It sounded like a little girl, singing and skipping and being merry like little girls tend to do. She sounds to happy and care free, like she doesn't have a worry nor a care in the world. I swear my insides were going to jump out of my throat at any moment now..

"Hello? Is anyone out there?"

Oh god, I was still behind a tree off the side of the path, she couldn't see me, but apparently she can hear me. I can see her now. I was right; she was a little girl, maybe eight, nine years old. Her shoulder length blond hair is the color of golden honey wheat and is swaying gently in the wind, and her eyes are the deepest green that I have ever seen before. She wore a red cloak that reached just above her ankles, I'm guessing so that she stayed warm and that she didn't trip while she's walking.

"Hello?"

She's getting closer now, oh so close.. Fear and anxiety wafted off of her in waves and its causing my head to spin and my clawed toes to dig into the dirt.

Suddenly all I can see is red, all I can here is red, all I can taste is red, and all I can think of is red. It was like I was having an out of body experience. Like I was flying over my body looking at what it was doing, but not being able to do anything to stop myself. I can't hear what's going on down there, only the occasional murmur. Eventually I just give up trying and fly in the sky, not knowing what was going on down there, and not caring.

The sky is so beautiful, you know. The colors are breathtaking, astounding, unearthly! Blues and oranges, pinks and yellows, a rainbow in the sky. Oh I flew for hours, content with this blissful oblivion that I'm in. It was much later when I felt as if I was falling, back to the world and back to my body. The first thing I felt when I was back to my senses was the feeling of contentment, as if I had just eaten a large fulfilling mean. But when I finally opened my eyes, I almost threw up whatever it was that was in my stomach. I was in a house that obviously not mine. And that clearly belonged to an older woman. The bed was overturned and everything around was in shambles. Broken chairs and glass littered the floor and the drapes and hangings were ripped to smithereens!

'BANG BANG BANG!'

Oh god what's that? I cant move at all. I'm stuck in a chair that is way too small for me in my current condition. And whats this? I'm in a dress, navy blue with little white flowers everywhere.. I'm defiantly in an older woman's house, because this is defiantly an older woman's dress that I'm wearing, but I have no recollection of seeing it when I opened my eyes.

'BANG BANG!'

I didn't even have to wait very long before a giant man came bursting through the door. He was tall, muscular, intimidating, and and most importantly, holding a rather sharp looking axe..

"Hello? I heard screaming while I was down by the stream, is everything okay?"

I felt my abnormally large stomach do a flip.. No, multiple flips, at his words. Screaming? What have I done in this house? I heard the man go through every room looking for some sign of life, and it wasn't until he came to the bedroom that he found it. He only took one look at me before charging at me, axe at the ready. The first slice didn't hurt at all; I was in so much shock that I just looked down, staring blankly at where his axe impaled me. It was the second slice that I felt it tho. My whole being felt like it was on fire, submerged in a vat of acid, and flung into a ravine all at once. He was not going to stop, and oh the agony I felt.

As It turns out, I had lured the little girl to her grandmother's house, tricking her into playing a racing game with me, where we would race all the way over to her sick, aging grandmother's house on the other side of the forest. I cut across the forest and got there first, eating her sick grandmother when I did. After putting on her dress I hid. Waiting for the little girl come. And when she did, I ate her also. I had tricked that poor little girl into thinking I was her dear grandmother, and then I just ate her like it was nothing! The man, who turned out to be a lumberjack, heard the screaming and crying and came to help.

After the lumberjack had gotten the girl and her grandma out of my stomach, they just left me to die there, in the bedroom, alone and growing colder and colder as the minutes went by and my blood seeps out of my now mutilated stomach. It was slow ,painful, horrible, and disgusting, even for a human.. Cant they see that they didn't mean it? Cant they hear my pleas and my shuttering hollow breaths? I know their their, I can still hear them, laughing and talking and .. And ignoring the monster that almost killed a child and an old women..

My life is slipping away from me, my breath is coming faster and faster, and my heart is beating a hundred times a second! I don't want to die.. Please don't let me die! Please! I'm so sorry! Cant you see that I couldn't stop it? That I had no control? Please, oh God please!

... Please...

Eyes close..

A last breath is taken..

A heart stops beating forever..

And now all I see is black. I suppose can deal with black.