Prologue – My One Mistake
9/04/10: Ok, this is the second time I went back and changed something in my story. The first change was a major one but I'm glad this wasn't as major as my first one. I think this is a better then the Prologue I had before because the one before, I felt it wasn't really a Prologue. So, here is the second version. I'll get chapter 14 as soon as I can. I already written part of it I just have to find time to write the rest.
I made a mistake. I should have chosen to change her. Instead, I put her in more danger than she would have been if I took the chance to change her and save myself. That would be selfish of me if I did, though. Would my selfishness save Bella instead of her going off to Volturra risking her life to save me when I could have saved myself along with protecting Bella?
Carlisle could have stopped her from going, but her stubbornness let her go on her way to getting killed. I knew she wanted to save me but I didn't want her to save me this way. I would rather have her stay here with me so I could hear her voice and keep her out of danger but, would she be protected? What would happen if Aro read Carlisle's mind and found out about Bella, Aro would have send his guards to get Bella and there would be no one to protect her. I wouldn't be able to save her when I would be right in the same room with her.
I knew this would be my one mistake I would regret if anything was to happen to Bella. But the thing is, would her decision to go be better than staying here with me, would she get enough protection? Would Bella be better protected if she stayed behind along with Esme? I would never know since she had decided her fate on her own, wanting to save me from losing me as she would be helping me from losing her myself. This is my mistake, I would have regret not changing her if something was to happen to her.
I couldn't lose her even if it meant changing her into a vampire. Even though I'm already losing her as I lay here motionless, vulnerable to anything to come, not able to stop her from going to Volturra. Would her decision save her or would it bring danger to her as she goes to Volturra? Even if she does come back unharmed, not changing her would be my biggest mistake I made in my existence. I wish I could tell her that and when that day comes that would be one of the few things I would tell her. All I can do now is lay helpless as she goes off to Volturra.