Hey guys!! I know I kinda went on hiatus, but I'm back:D And bearing stories:D This one was written for a speed rent challenge on where everyone who was HIV pos. was now negative and everyone who was negative was now positive.
Italics are either thoughts, dreams, flashbacks, or a written note. Enjoy--hope you like! R & R!
Mark Cohen glanced down at the little slip of paper in his hands. This half sheet of paper could flip his world upside down with one little word.
Negative
He sighed in relief, crumpling the paper in his hands. It had landed in the wastebasket and then he--
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Mark Cohen groggily opened his eyes and was met with the harsh red light of his alarm clock. It read 10:23 am, so that meant it wasn't his alarm clock. What was it then? He didn't have any mobile devices or anything like that. What would he use them for--shit. He couldn't believe he'd gotten lost in that dream world. That he'd forgotten about his curse.
He sat up, put on his glasses, and aimlessly started searching for that beeper. Where was it? It was on his dresser last night before he went to bed. As he walked over to his dresser he stepped on something square shaped. He sighed and bent down to pick it up. He pushed the button, turning off that annoying beeping sound which was starting to give him a headache. After setting the beeper back on his dresser, he walked out of his bedroom and was met with a rush of cold, harsh air. Wrapping his arms around himself, attempting to preserve a little warmth, he made his way towards the bathroom.
Once at the bathroom, he shut the door behind him. He reached into the medicine cabinet and pulled out that all too familiar bottle. After opening the cap and placing one pill in his hand, he sighed and then placed the pill in his mouth. He threw his head back and quickly swallowed the pill. He never used water anymore--he was used to just swallowing the pill. Setting the little bottle back in the cabinet with only 5 pills left, he made a mental note to himself to get a refill on that--as soon as possible.
Mark stared at himself in the mirror. The virus was beginning to take its toll on him, unless it was just the cold of winter--but he doubted it. The bags under his eyes were becoming more prominent and how he felt tired, drained of energy a lot of the time, it just wasn't normal to him.
"Mimi!"
"ANGEL!"
Mark groaned to himself. Damn it...now he'd have to deal with the happy go lucky couples when he was feeling like shit. Terrific. Great. What a way to start the day. He opened the bathroom door and walked towards the living room area. He was met with Angel and Mimi chatting away in spanish and Collins and Roger sitting there, talking about...whatever it is that those two talk about it. Angel noticed him first and smiled. "Hey Mark...we're all heading to the Life Cafe...you should come!" She said hopefully.
Mark just smiled and nodded. "Sure Angel, of course I'll come." Alone and away from people he could wallow in his own self pity. But when with people, he had to be the happy and nice Mark Cohen everyone was used to. The last time he'd been upset over something...they all just told him that it would all work itself out and not to worry about it. First off, who were they to say that? Did they have AIDS? No. Were they slowly dying? No. Yeah, it's easy for them to say that this will all work itself out because they have all the time in the world. But not him. His time is limited. He shook his head, trying to get out of this little funk he was in. "What time are you all meeting up there?"
This time it was Roger who answered. "Well...us four are leaving now. Joanne and Maureen said that meet us there in a bit. So...whenever you're ready you can meet us down there. Or we could wait for you?"
Mark shook his head. "No...you guys go right ahead. I'll be there in a little bit." He assured them. They just smiled and said their goodbyes to him as they walked out the door. The last thing he wanted right now was to be trapped with them.
Mark quickly turned around, running into a stupid piece of wicker furniture. Angrily, he kicked the wicker end table out of his way. He hated that thing. Who'd wanted it anyways? Oh yeah...that's right, Mimi had. He rolled his eyes to himself. Ever since Mimi had moved in with him and Roger, she'd gotten everything she wanted. She wanted that stupid piece of wicker...she got it. She wanted a cabinet to herself in the bathroom...she got it. Provided, neither Mark or Roger really needed all that cabinet space, but still--it was the principle of the matter! She shouldn't have been able to just waltz right in here and take or get whatever she wanted.
Mark walked back to the bathroom, his anger and frustration starting to get to him. He turned on the hot water and peeled off his clothes. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His ribs were starting to show more than usual. He jumped into the shower, letting the hot water soothe his aching muscles. He mind kept spinning, flashing back to the day he'd first found out he was positive.
Mark Cohen's hand were shaking as he stared at that little piece of paper. It really was little. It was only a half sheet of paper, but it meant everything. With one word, his entire world could be shattered. He slowly opened the paper.
Positive.
He shook his head, feeling the slight burn of tears behind his eyes and his throat closing. This couldn't be happening. Not him. No. This was a mistake. They must have given him the wrong paper. He looked at the top and there in big bold letters were the words: Cohen, Mark. He got up and went to the desk, asking the lady their how he went about getting his prescription for...AZT.
Mark shook himself out of his "dream." He still remembered seeing Collins' paper. Negative. How could that have happened? Collins was gay after all--no that's not why you get AIDS. Great, now he was stereotyping. The very thing he got mad at other people for doing.
And then there was Roger--negative also. Roger was a fucking junkie, but did he get AIDS? No! Of course not! Does Mimi have AIDS? Absolutely not! Why would they? They are only junkies after all!
Mark punched the wall in the shower out of frustration. He didn't mean to be getting upset with his friends. He knew that this wasn't their fault, that it was just a cruel twist of fate that left him with this curse. But it was just so frustrating seeing Roger and Mimi together having a great time--with out a care in the world. And don't get him started on Collins and Angel, the bohemians resident perfect couple. They all just seemed so happy. All Mark wanted was to have someone, a chance to be like one of the couples, before he had to go. He just wanted a chance at finding love.
Mark got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around himself. He walked right back into his bedroom and began searching for some clothes to wear. He smiled to himself, seeing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. At least something was going right for him today. He quickly slipped his clothes on and went to grab his camera case. As he picked it up, a folded piece of paper fell to the floor.
Mark
He'd recognize that handwriting anywhere. Maureen's. He wondered how her and Joanne were doing. It was probably only natural to worry about the others he knew that were HIV/+ as well. He quickly bent down and picked up the piece of paper. With shaking hands he opened as he sat down on the edge of his bed.
Hey pookie! I know, I know...you don't like that name! I just wanted to ask you how you were holding up. You're probably thinking about how crazy I am for writing you a note, but I wanted this to be in private. No interruptions. No unwanted ears. And definitely no, 'Everything happens for a reason' bullshit.
Mark smiled despite himself. He knew exactly what Maureen was talking about. The four members of their group who weren't infected. They always tried to make Mark, Maureen, and Joanne feel better by saying things like that. But in all actuality...it made them feel worse.
I've been noticing how reserved you've started to become recently and it worries me Mark. I know, living with this virus is hard, but I want you to know that you can come to me...for anything. I'll always listen. I care about you Mark. I really do. I know it must be hard having to deal with this by yourself (at least I have Joanne). But you...you always have to be strong and rise above everything you're feeling because you live with Roger and Mimi. Don't get me wrong, I love them both, but I'm sure it's hard for you.
Mark nodded, feeling tears start to fill his eyes. Finally, someone who understands. Some one who actually cares about him. He knew Maureen would be the one to understand him the most out of everybody. Him and Maureen used to always be talking or doing something, that is until they both found out they had AIDS. After that, both Mark and Maureen toned things down a little bit. Mark became more involved with his filming and Maureen became more involved with her protests, and later on Joanne. But Maureen understood how he has to put up the front where nothing is wrong in front of the others, because Maureen has to also. Everyone expects Mark and Maureen to be happy all the time, so they have to at least fake their happiness. It's different for Joanne. Everyone knows her as quiet and not so outgoing, so it's okay for her to be upset every so often. He quit thinking about everything else and finished the letter.
i After all that being said, I have a proposal for you Mark--no not the marriage kind! I want to propose to you a sort of buddy system. Since you and I are most alike with this situation, we could make a pact to always be there for the other. You always there for me when I need someone and I'm there for you. What do you say Mark?
I really think that could work. I know it'd be nice to talk to someone who understands about how I have to put on a mask most days. I know you are starting to feel that way, it's obvious to me.
Mark, just think about it...okay?
Love you,
Maureen
Mark smiled as he wiped his eyes. Maureen, who'd a thought that she'd be the one to go out of her way for Mark?! He folded the paper and carefully placed it in his dresser drawer. It was a small drawer that consisted of few other things. That drawer was made for memories, keepsakes. The only other piece of paper in that drawer was a half sheet of paper with only one important word on there: positive.
Mark grabbed his bag and headed back towards the door. He stopped by the coffee table and picked up the pad of paper and pen that Roger had left out. He scribbled down a note, folded the paper and put it in his pocket. With that he left the loft and headed for the Life Cafe.
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Maureen and Joanne had just gotten back from meeting with everyone at the Life Cafe. Maureen had been slightly worried when Mark hadn't shown up right away. She thought something might have been seriously wrong with him. But she was relieved when he did show up.
She had been so worried about him lately. Sure, may be it was the drama queen in her, but still. She loved Mark--as a friend now, and all she wanted was for him to know that she was here for him. That someone cared about him.
She plopped herself onto the couch and flicked on the television. She could hear Joanne singing to herself in the shower. Maureen couldn't help but chuckle at her girlfriend.
As Maureen lifted her feet to place them on the coffee table, she knocked over her purse, the contents spilling out. As everything began being placed back into her purse, she noticed a folded piece of paper.
Maureen
She knew it was from Mark. His chicken scratch was noticeable anywhere. She smiled as she carefully opened the letter.
I just wanted to say thanks. And let you know that you can always count on me to be there for you.
Love you,
Mark
Maureen smiled as she folded the paper back up. Walking back into her and Joanne's bedroom she shook her head as she thought about Mark. He really was very sweet and sincere. The fact that he'd written her a note back, well that was enough to prove to Maureen that he really appreciated that letter. Mark hardly ever wrote notes or letters.
Maureen walked right over to her dresser, opening up the last drawer in her jewelery box. There was one other piece of paper in there. A folded half sheet of paper that had changed her life forever. She had folded it so you couldn't see the haunting word, positive, every time you opened up that tiny drawer. She placed Mark's note in the drawer and smiled. Things were looking up already. And with that, she closed the drawer.