Author's note: This is my first fiction that is from Grace's point of view... hope it is alright. Please let me know!
Disclaimer: not mine
She had always been a quiet girl… top of her class, graduated with honours, lead singer in her children's choir. The lovely red hair that flowed down her back was so striking that Grace Van Pelt had always been the object of every boys' attention. Her life had always gone just as she had planned until that fateful day when she was 18 years old. That day changed her and she had never spoken of it to anybody and she rarely thought about it herself for fear of the memories that would come flooding back in.
After that incident she had to leave her hometown of Iowa and go as far away as she could possibly go. She moved across the country and started a new life for herself in California as a police officer and she never looked back. She just couldn't. Instead, she kept her head down and worked hard until one day all of her dedication paid off and she was offered a new job with the California Bureau of Investigation which was a very prestigious promotion.
She was assigned to Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon's team upon arrival and immediately set to work. She got along well with her colleagues and even managed to strike up a friendship with Agent Rigsby; it was obvious to her that he liked her but she didn't want to compromise her career by breaking the rules and dating within the bureau. After a year, however, she was feeling more comfortable in her role and allowed Rigsby to enter her home and her heart. She hadn't been in a relationship since she left Iowa (if that could even be considered a relationship!) and the very thought of having to share and communicate with this man terrified her. He wanted to be let in on her secrets and to allow her to share her emotions and thoughts with him and although this was very sweet of him, she wasn't sure that she was able or ready to do this. There were so many things that she didn't even share with herself.
She began to feel comfortable in his presence though and this surprised her a great deal. They had shared so much together and she had been more intimate and vulnerable with him that she ever had by her own choosing. Everything was going really well in Van Pelt's life, for once, until Agent Hightower came along and sent her castle of sand crashing down by issuing an ultimatum: job or relationship.
It was this dilemma that had Van Pelt sitting on her couch nursing a glass of wine while she pondered how she should respond to Hightower's ultimatum. She remembered all too well what had happened the last time she had been with a guy; it had been that relationship that had pushed her to get away and to put all that she had into her job. That was the problem. Her job had been a healthy escape from all the pain she had to endure after the incident and she just didn't think that she could give that up. She needed the constant distraction. Although Rigsby was always nice and gentle towards her, she just could not risk going through another incident like the last one. She wasn't strong enough for that.
Van Pelt had been so thankful that Lisbon had chosen to overlook their relationship because she didn't think that she would be able to choose between her job and the man she loved. Now that she was faced with the choice, however, the outcomes seemed to become abundantly clear.
The ringing of her cell phone drew her out of her thoughts. She picked it up and turned it around so that she could see who was calling. Rigsby's name flashed on the screen and she quickly hit the decline button and threw it across the room. She did not want to let Rigsby influence her decision because it certainly was her job on the line. That thought made her angry. She immediately felt guilty about turning Rigsby down but she knew what she had to do.
She stood up and grabbed her coat before she headed to her car to go in to work. As she pulled into the parking lot she took a couple of breaths in order to steady her racing heart. Their latest case had given her the inspiration that she needed in order to do what was required of her. She knew who she was and she intended to tell Rigsby that. He had been really sweet lately, offering to give up his job and transfer to another unit because he loved her and wanted to be with her. Van Pelt knew that Rigsby would grow to resent her, just like Martin had done. It hurt to think of Martin and so she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind and focused on the task at hand; a task that would certainly prove to be difficult.
Grace could barely reign in her emotions enough to tell Rigsby what she had decided for them. She had placed a chair strategically between them and avoided looking at him the whole time. In the end she ran off in tears with only Lisbon to comfort her. She felt so badly for ending it with Rigsby but she knew that he would just grow to resent her with time. She most definitely did not want to find herself in the same situation as she had with Martin.
And so she found herself lying in bed in the middle of the day with the covers over her head and tears rolling down her cheeks. She knew she had made the right choice given the circumstances, but her heart had broken anyways. It didn't help that all the thoughts and memories of Martin were forcing their way back in, no matter how hard she tried to fight them. Eventually Grace just gave up fighting and let the painful memories course through her body, twisting her heart and her stomach as they did.
Next up: A look into Grace's memories of Martin...
TBC