My mum always told me that all she ever wanted in life was the best for Tony and I. However that was a long time ago, a time before Tony met Michelle, a time when I was still innocent and didn't speak. It was a time when everything was simple. But within just shy of 5 years, everything changed.
Everything.
Now, here I sit, voice once again failing to come out, and my eyes screaming. Here I sit, in my mum's car, our suitcases in the back, and a soft look on my mums face. Today was are leaving Bristol forever.
My mum told me that she thought that I needed a fresh start; that we both did. She told me that it would be good to get away form all of the negative things in the city and start somewhere new. In a new house that I never snuck out of, a new house where I never tried to kill myself in, a new house that held no memories.
Starting New...
New School, New House, New Neighborhood, New "Friends", Everything.
But did that mean a new me? A New Effy?
No.
Everything that had happened to me in Bristol happened and made me the messed up, off the rails, life destructor, and hidden gem that I am now.
From the good memories; meeting Pandora, meeting Cook, meeting Freddie, finding my voice, and growing up. To the bad memories; watching Tony get hit my a bus, watching Tony leave for university, almost losing my best friend, almost ending my own life, almost killing someone else, and so much more.
Yet the more I look into the bad, the more I just know this is what it best. Even though I already miss Cook, Panda, Emily, JJ, and in a strange small way, Katie, Naomi, and Karen, I know that they all moved on, so why shouldn't I?
But there is one person who will always stick out in my head...Freddie.
No, I have to stop, I have to start new, start fresh.
This is why I am leaving Bristol, a new start.
But is that even possible when I am this broken and off the rails?