The Danger of Basements and Laundry Chutes.
By Rem
Re-edited and Re-posted.
Thursday afternoon: The Ordeal begins.
Kyle was not happy. Earlier that Morning his parents had chucked him out of their Basement for playing CDs to loudly. He'd missed lunch completely, having spent the entire time fighting with a printer that wouldn't give any of the paper back, and now, he was being sent down to the lowest, dustiest, smelliest, most disgusting place in the entire Shinra headquarters, Sub-basement K, to retrieve a file for the disgustingly creepy Dr. Hojo.
Kyle sulked his way into the lift and then down to the ground floor. He took another lift to the executive parking level, then another into the basement section. Then an escalator to the sub-basement section. He clambered down the rickety staircase that linked Sub-levels A-D, the rope ladder that connected sub-levels D-H, slid down the slide connecting H-J, and finally, walked down yet another staircase to arrive at the door to basement K.
K was guarded by a heavy metal door, decorated with a sign reading, WEAPON shelter and Laundromat. Kyle shrugged, he'd only been working for Shinra two weeks, and had no idea what WEAPON or Laundromat could be. He pushed open the door, and walked into the Basement.
Looking around revealed a room full of piles of old junk that everyone had been too lazy to throw out. And, unexpectedly, a washing machine. Kyle shrugged again, and started to look for what Dr. Creepy (Hojo) had sent him for.
Behind him, the door shut with a soft thud.
Kyle eventually found the file he was after, in one of the rotting filing cabinets. He turned and tried to open the door.
It was stuck.
He pulled harder. But the door remained stuck fast.
It looked like his day had just gotten a whole lot worse. He sat down and waited for someone to come and rescue him.
****
Over sixty floors above Kyle, Hojo looked at his watch and sighed. The incompetent moron that he'd sent to find his missing file hadn't returned, after almost three hours searching.
He decided it was finally time to take things into his own hands. And with that, Hojo headed towards the lift, while mumbling what sounded like "Can't get the staff...If you wasn't something doing, you have to do it you're self..."
****
"Dude, you came to rescue me!" Kyle rejoiced as Hojo forced open the basement door and strode in.
"No, I came to rescue my files, hand them over fool," the Doctor replied sarcastically "...and I told you not to call me Dude" he added.
" Don't let the door close, Dr Creepy, it won't open from this side" Kyle warned. Hojo ignored him.
"And don't call me 'Doctor Creepy! It's Hojo, how many times must I tell people that?.... Where was I...Ahh yes, the files...Where are my Files!"
"I found them straight away but I couldn't open the door, 'cause it got like stuck"
On cue the door slammed behind them. Hojo snatched the files from Kyle and tried to open the door.
"Like I was trying to tell you dude, it don't open from the inside"
"Well I'll just wait until someone comes looking for me, then I can be out of here" replied Hojo.
"But Dr Creepy, it's like late, everyone will have gone home"
If everyone had gone home, then...
Hojo shuddered at the awful realisation that he would be trapped in here with Kyle until at least 8 the next morning. It was going to be a long night, after three minutes trapped with Kyle, he could already feel his IQ level dropping.
****
Friday morning: 10:00 - Rufus Finds a slide.
"What to you want us to move Mr Shinra? " Asked a lackey.
"Just take that old file cabinet out of my office, I don't care what you do with it afterward" Rufus Shinra replied.
After the lackeys had taken the cabinet away and the dust had settled, Rufus noticed a hatch in the wall, which he had never noticed before on account of it being behind the cabinet. Wiping away the cobwebs he found a sign reading, USE IN CASE OF WEAPON ATTACK, opening the hatch revealed some kind of slide just big enough for a person. It looked very similar to the garbage chute he had found when he moved his desk the previous week, but obviously wasn't one.
Rufus tried to ignore the chute and sat down to do some boring paper work. After a few moments he stood back up and looked at the newly revealed chute, it was big enough for him to fit inside, and looked a lot more interesting than his paperwork.
Hmm, to slide or not to slide? He agonised.
****
Basement K: 10:15am
The eerie silence of Basement K was shattered by a sudden noise. The noise was
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Kyle looked at Hojo suspiciously. "Dr Creepy Dude, did you say, like, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?"
Hojo rolled his eyes " A person of my intellect would not say weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
"Dude, If I didn't say it and you didn't say it, who said it?"
The question was immediately answered as Rufus fell from a small opening towards the ceiling of the room and landed on top of Kyle.
" Cool, I wanna go again" said Rufus childishly
"No one is sliding down that blasted laundry chute until we get out of here!" Snapped Hojo.
"Laundry chute?" Both Rufus and Kyle looked puzzled.
"Before Shinra towers was an office block it was a hotel, you just slid down the chute which connected the expensive suits to the laundry room, which allowed people to send clothes for cleaning without any effort" Explained Hojo.
"But it said it was for..."
"Emergency's only, well your father had it converted to a weapon shelter, and the chute was left in for easy accesses" Hojo grinned like an idiot, and appeared a lot happier than five minutes previously. He loved explaining things to the idiots around him. It made him feel special.
"And the door, is like stuck, so we're like trapped VP Dude" Finished Kyle.
"Shut up, idiot. It your fault I'm stuck in here!" Hojo yelled at him.
Kyle sulked and looked at the floor. He saw something small and metallic glinting in the dirt. He picked it up, examining it as he did so.
Dude, I think I found the..."
"SHUT UP, MORON!"
Kyle sulked in the corner and put whatever he had found in his pocket.
****
Basement K: 11.30 am
Being so far underground, basement K was particularly cold, Rufus and Kyle sat on the floor shivering as Hojo searched the whole room for a way to escape. The door still refused to open, and the laundry chute was to high up, even when they stood on top of the broken washing machine. An examination of the door revealed a keyhole, if only he had the key this whole horrible ordeal could be over...
"Dr Creepy it's like Cold in here"
"SHUT UP KYLE!"
" He's right" agreed the Rufus "is there a way to switch on the thermostat?"
They all looked around the Basement. Kyle spotted a switch on the wall, labelled 'Thermostat'.
"I got it, Dudes" said Kyle switching the thermostat to hot.
With a cracking sound the leaver broke off in his hand.
"YOU IMBECILE, ITS STUCK ON HOT, WE'LL FRY BEFORE WE GET
RESCUED!" Screamed Hojo
" But Dude it don't matter coz I like found the..."Kyle tried to tell him.
"SHUT UP, SIT DOWN AND DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING"
****
The basement quickly began to heat up. Rufus was forced to remove his trench coat and Kyle took of his jacket. Hojo however refused to part with his lab coat.
"Like dude, your gonna reek in a few hours if you don't take off that coat soon" protested Kyle, Hojo was just about to say shut up Kyle when they heard...
"...Where are you Tsengie?..." closely followed by Elena falling out of the laundry chute and landing on top of Kyle.
" Hey it's the peroxide Turk babe. Guess what, we're like trapped in here" said Kyle
"SHUT UP KYLE" cried everyone in unison.
" Is Tsengie down here" she asked
"Isn't it obvious that Tseng isn't" replied Rufus " Anyway what the hell were you doing sliding down the laundry chute?"
"Tseng saw you jump down here on the C.C.T.V, and said it was his duty as your bodyguard to follow you. So he went down one chute and I went down the other..."
"Ahh, it appears that Mr Tseng must have went down the chute that leads to the garbage disposal area" explained Hojo "Don't worry, in approximately six hours it will operate and our friend will be crushed and or incinerated"
" Oh Tsengie" she moaned sitting beside Hojo. Suddenly she sprang back up " Gross! Hojo you stink"
"Told you" said Kyle although no one listened
Next Elena went to sit beside Rufus, but...
" Eaw, Rufus is picking his nose"
" Was not, I was...scratching it" he pleaded
"Ha, not like I haven't used that one before" said Kyle
"Eaw gross, Kyle picks his nose" said everyone including Hojo. Elena decided to sit on her own away from any male grossness.
****
Sub-basement K - 4:15pm
"Hey Elena, does anyone know you came down here?" Asked Rufus
"Tseng wrote a note to say he was jumping down here, in case any one wanted to know where he was"
"Where did he put it?"
"He gave it to me to put in his desk; I've got it somewhere. Look here it is"
Rufus slapped his forehead with his hand; he was seriously beginning to doubt Shinra's hiring policies.
The temperature was still rising, Rufus and Kyle had both removed there shirts, Elena had blushingly removed her shirt and was sitting with her hands folded to cover her bra. Hojo still refused to remove his coat and stank worse than ever.
Suddenly the basement door opened, and a familiar "Kya ha ha" was heard.
"Scarlet Babe, you found us"
"No, actually me and Heidegger where looking for our own private love nest to sneak off to, weren't we Heidegger honey" Heidegger walked in and stood next to his ageing bimbo companion,
"Gya ha ha, looks like they started the orgy without us"; he said glancing at the group of people in various states of undress. As he laughed, his layers of fat rippled.
"Eaw gross" said Elena again
" Don't let the door shut Scarlet " yelled Rufus, but it was to late, the door closed with a crash.
"What, Why?" She replied, sounding puzzled.
Sub-basement K: Friday evening.
The group in the basement now consisted of Kyle, who no one would talk to, Hojo who no one would sit next to, Rufus, Elena, Scarlet and Heidegger. The temperature was still rising, and no one had anything to eat or drink for at least four or five hours.
As the time reached exactly 6.30 pm the sound of machinery followed by screaming was heard, Tseng was being crushed and or incinerated right on schedule.
" No" screamed Elena " If your gonna die I'm going with you" while attempting to jump down the basements garbage chute. Luckily Kyle grabbed her by the legs and pulled her out.
" Don't, the world like needs you Turk Babe" he said while doing so.
"And why exactly..." mumbled Hojo. But no one heard.
" You're right, I must be strong for Tseng" she sat back down.
Suddenly Scarlet yelled "No Heidegger don't leave me "
The others turned to see Heidegger lying on the floor with his eyes closed and his tongue sticking out.
"Let me see, I'm a doctor after all" Said Hojo, pushing his way to the front, to examine the body on the floor, " It appears that Heidegger has died after a heart attack brought on by the excess heat and the shock of hearing people screaming" He concluded.
" I'm having his office; it's bigger than mine" said Rufus
"Don't be so insensitive, he's only just died" Elena scolded
"Anyone who cares about Heidegger enough to find it insensitive, raise your hand" no one did " that's settled, I get his office"
" Kya ha ha, I'm single again" Cackled Scarlet, with glee. " Now, whom should I pick?.... Rufie baby, naw to young...Mr Hojo,.. by god you reek... or Kyle ergh"
Scarlet shuddered just thinking of the idea. Which was a surprise to everyone else in the room, who had believed she had no standards whatsoever.
" Stop being insensitive Scarlet" said Elena
"....Or maybe I should pick you" Scarlet said seductively
" You're sick. I'm not in to that type of thing."
" But we could be in here for days, and the men are such losers" Scarlet said in a seductive whisper.
" Look as much as I like Porn, I do not want to see you two in it. So shut up! Sit down! And stop being so horny!" Ordered Rufus
"Kya ha ha, you're only jealous"
****
Sub-basement K -Friday night.
Friday night
"Like this on time, I found a glass of water and I like drank it"
"SHUT UP KYLE" Said everyone.
"But Dudes, I'm like thirsty. I can't help thinking about water"
" We're all thirsty Kyle and your not helping. In case you hadn't noticed, There are no taps in here!" said Elena
"But I could go get some water, coz I like found the..." he began, only to be interrupted by the usual group "SHUT UP KYLE"
There was a short silence, then...
" This one time, I like found some orange juice and I like drank it"
" Kya ha ha, that's it Kyle. I can't take it anymore" Scarlet sprang towards him, her claws raised to strike. She slapped Kyle and tried to scratch his eyes out.
"Don't kill him Scarlet! I want to do it!" she was joined by Elena, who began throttling Kyle.
In the commotion they didn't hear some one yelling " OHMYGOD OHMYGODGETMEOUTOFHEREARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG"
That was until the screamer fell from the laundry chute and landed in a heap on top of Kyle, Elena and Scarlet.
"GET OF ME YOU JERK" Elena screamed, pushing the man to the floor.
" Reeve why the hell were you in the laundry chute?" Asked Rufus, helping him up.
" Reno pushed me in for a Joke; he's always playing funny pranks on me. Like the time he shaved off my eyebrows, or when he filled my car with chocolate pudding, or when he covered we with Chocobo pheromones and locked me in a room with several horny Chocobos... and last week he set my house on fire"
"That's not funny, that's just disturbing" said Hojo.
At this point Reeve broke down and began to cry. " I know! he won't leave me alone. I got a restraining order put on him, but it didn't work. I tried to sue him for harassment, but he had a better lawyer... Sometimes I just hide under my desk and cry...I don't know...what ...to do" The man then hugged Hojo and began crying down the front of his lab coat.
"Stop this, your pathetic, its embarrassing, stop it. I said now!" Hojo pleaded.
Reeve wouldn't let go, and had to be pulled off by Scarlet and Rufus, who deposited the wailing executive in the corner.
No sooner had they done this than they heard " WOO HOO SLIDE" and yet another man fell out of the laundry chute and landed on top of Kyle.
"No... Keep him away...don't let him." Wailed Reeve as Reno stood up. The redhead advanced towards him, glared menacingly, then gave Reeve an Indian burn.
"OWWWWWWWWW!"
" What was that you said, you want more, O.k." said Reno tightening his grip around the other mans wrist.
"ARGH, THE PAIN, IT HURTS, IT HURTS"
"What was that, you want more pain? O.k." Reno broke off from the Indian burn and punched him the gut.
" For God's sake Reno, stop it. I don't want the here the pathetic worm snivelling anymore" said Rufus
"What was that Rufus, you want some to?" Reno pushed Reeve to the floor and advanced menacingly towards the V.P
"Don't you dare, take one more step and you're demoted to toilet cleaning.... More specifically, Palmers personal Toilet." Rufus replied. He smiled, having the satisfaction of watching Reno shudder.
" Hey, Reno Dude, we're like trapped, 'cause the door only opens from the outside, but It would open from the inside with the right key, and they wont like listen to me when I try to tell them I've like found the..."
"SHUT UP KYLE!" Yelled Hojo, Elena, Scarlet, Rufus and Reno, who although he didn't know why Kyle had to shut up, felt obliged to join in.
" So why did you jump into the chute Reno?" Asked Elena
" Well Reeve was screaming so much, I guessed it must be fun so I jumped in after him"
"Kya ha ha, good job your here Reno, cause Scarlet needs some Lovin'" the Bimbo jiggled her chest suggestively at Reno.
" Don't you dare touch me" Reno shuddered, feeling physically sick.
"Kya ha ha, the stories must be true, no real man could resist a piece of Scarlet"
" For your information the stories about Rude and me are just rumours..."Reno sat down next to Rufus and squeezed the V.P's leg"...but the ones about Rufus, and me well those are..."
"Get of me you freak" screamed Rufus, pushing Reno away from him
" What, don't you want me anymore Rufie baby, that's not what you said last night" Reno's voiced filled with sadness
" That's it! For that you're going to be cleaning Palmers Toilet"
Reno began to turn a strange shade of green.
"Not that...anything but that..."
Rufus nodded.
"Even when he's had curry?"
"Especially when he's had curry" said Rufus with an evil glint in his eyes.
"Excuse me guys..." ventured Reeve who had finally stopped crying "...Have you ever considered climbing back up the laundry chute?"
" It's too high for us to reach, or we would have" said Hojo
" Like dude's you could like move the old washing machine, and like stand on top of it, and climb up. Or you could open the door with this thing I found, you know the..."
"SHUT UP KYLE"
After a few minutes Hojo considered what Kyle had just said. "He's right we could do that"
"What, I am. Your gonna use the..." Kyle started
"Washing machine, it can't be too difficult to move" Hojo finished.
So Elena, Reno, Scarlet, Kyle and Reeve tried to push the washing machine away from the wall.
Rufus refused, saying he was to important to do menial labour and Hojo got out of it by claiming some one should supervise. After ten or so minutes of pushing, shoving and swearing the machine still hadn't budged.
"It appears the washing machine is still attached to the wall" said Hojo thoughtfully
"You couldn't have told us ten minutes ago because..."Scarlet grumbled
Reno looks round the side of the machine and discovered pipes leading from it to the wall. He delivered a sharp kick to the pipe.
" YOU IDIOT, JUST LOOK WHAT YOU DID" screamed Hojo, as water gushed from the now broken pipe.
" Well at least we won't die of thirst now" said Elena before gulping down large mouthfuls of water
"No, we'll probably drown" Hojo commented.
The water had a second positive effect of cooling the place down.
Rufus looked down at his trousers and said sadly " my pants are wet"
"What!" Everyone looked at the vice president.
"Rufus dude wets his pants, I bet he like wets the bed as well"
"SHUT UP KYLE. I have not wet myself; the reason my pants are wet is because I'm sitting in three inches of water"
" If you want some dry clothes, we could always go get some by getting out of here by using the..."
"SHUT UP KYLE!"
****
Eventually the executives managed to push the washing machine through the water to underneath the laundry shaft. It was decided that Reno and Elena should attempt to climb up the chute and get help.
So slowly they began to climb up.
About twenty minutes after the two Turks had left, the people in the basement, that is Kyle, Hojo, Reeve, Rufus and Scarlet heard a strange kind of echoing voice which seemed to be coming from the ceiling of the Basement...
"HELP, I WAS CRAWLING IN THE VENTILATION SYSTEM AND GOT KINDA LOST"
Rufus immediately recognised the voice, "Cloud Strife, what the hell are you doing crawling around my ventilation system?"
"I WAS TRYING TO SPY ON A BOARD MEETING BUT WENT THE WRONG WAY"
"Like Dude, that's like wrong to trespass"
"SHUT UP KYLE"
"Kya ha ha, Strife I order you to find the opening in the vent system that leads to this room so we can get the hell outta here!" Cackled Scarlet
"NO"
"How dare you say no to Shinra, get down her so I can Slap you!" Scarlet was infuriated
"NOW I'M DEFINITELY NOT COMING DOWN"
"
You could try bargaining with him" suggested Hojo"Okay then, I'll handle this" began Rufus " Strife, if you find the opening so we can get out now, I won't kill you when I do get out later. Your life for our immediate freedom, is that fair or what"
There was a few minutes' silence while Cloud considered the offer.
"O.k."
" I can see the grate covering the vent on the North wall; so try going north" suggested Hojo
"O.K....I THINK I CAN SEE IT...I JUST HAVE TO GET PASSED THIS AND....ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
A rain of red liquid began to fall through the grate.
"Strife?.... Are you still there?.... Are you still alive" yelled Rufus franticly.
There was no answer from the ventilation system.
"Urgh, what an awful way to go" said Reeve mournfully
"What do ya mean, 'Urgh, want an awful way to go'?" Asked Rufus
"Don't you know that large and powerful fans power the Ventilation system, and they have razor sharp blades on them Rufus? ...Hmm Well I guess you do now"
"Damn it!" Rufus sat back down, then immediately got back up " The water's getting higher" It was now around six or seven inches.
"Well what do you expect, we have no way of stopping it, we have nothing we can block that pipe up with..."began Hojo
"Argh!" Screamed Scarlet "Heidegger corpse just floated over and touched me"
"...Or do we?"
****
"You're one sick dude Dr Creepy, I don't believe you just did that, if you wanted to get away from all the water you could like just opening the door with this..."
"SHUT UP KYLE AND HELP US SHOVE HEIDEGGER INTO THE WATER PIPE"
And so Kyle joined Rufus, Reeve, Scarlet, and Hojo, as the jammed Heidegger's cold dead body into the water pipe. It was quite a squeeze, but they eventually managed it, reducing the water flow to just a trickle.
****
Meanwhile Elena and Reno had almost reached the first floor of the Shinra building. The progress had been slow, since they had had to climb up an almost vertical surface, but they eventually made it.
Reno pushed open the first hatch they came to and looked out, it appeared to be Palmers office. Unlike the other executives the fat man had his office on the first floor, as he was too lazy to take the lift, unless it was for an important meeting. And the stairs just tired him out.
"What the hell is that noise?" Elena asked
"It's Palmer, he's asleep and snoring at his desk"
Just as Reno was about to attempt to climb out, Palmer woke up. He noticed the hatch was open and wobbled over to investigate.
"What are you doing in there?" He leaned forward to speak to the people inside.
"We slid down, and now we want to get out, so move out of the way" replied Reno
"I wanna see" Palmer leaned closer
"Trust us, you don't" said Elena
"But I.... ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Palmer leaned to close and toppled over into the chute, sending himself and the Turks sliding back to the Basement.
****
Elena fell out of the laundry chute and landed on top of the washing machine, Reno fell out and landed on top of Elena, Palmer got stuck half in, half out of the laundry chute.
"Thanks a lot Palmer" spat Elena after pushing Reno on to the floor, "Now no one else can get in, and we can't get out either"
"
Why the hell is Palmer here? You were supposed to get help, a hilariously obese man trapped in a laundry chute is not help!" Rufus yelled, starting to go purple.They Explained.
Hojo counted the people in the Basement "Do you realise that since you brought that fat fool down here, it means that the only people left that could rescue us, not including nameless lackeys are Rude, the President and the mayor. AND NONE
OF THEM ARE LIKELY TO NEED TO VISIT THE BASEMENT/LAUNDRY ROOM/WEAPON SHELTER!"
"Like Dude, we don't need them to get out; we can use this..."
"SHUT UP KYLE"
"No, Kyle's right, we don't need them" said Reeve
"Like boring Dude, are we gonna like use the..."
"...PHS I just remembered I had in my Pocket, we can phone someone and tell him or her to rescue us"
"WHAT, YOU HAD THAT THE WHOLE TIME AND DIDN'T TELL US!" Rufus began to strangle Reeve
"Please no" Reeve tried to say as Reno began kicking him in the ribs.
"Stop it" as Scarlet began slapping him
"I'm Sorry" Elena bit him
"STOP IT, YOU'RE BEHAVING LIKE CHILDREN"
They stopped and looked at Hojo "It doesn't matter if he's had it the whole time, this PHS is broken"
"Can you fix it" Scarlet asked?
"May be, but I'll need a piece of wire"
"Here" Elena gave him on of her hair clips.
So Hojo tried to Fix Reeves PHS.
" It's working, but it only has enough power to call one person, any suggestions on who we should call"
"Oooooo...Call 555-555-555" squealed Palmer
Hojo punched in the number
"Hello this is Midgar Pizza, can I take your order"
"
WHY THE HELL DID YOU GIVE ME THE NUMBER OF A PIZZA SHOP PALMER!""I was hungry"
"ARGH" he was just about to slam the PHS down in disgust when
"Order a pizza" suggested Reno
"Reno, why would I want to do that?"
"The Pizza guy will have to come down here to deliver it so he'll have to open the door to do so"
"I'd like to order a large Pizza with everything on, send it to the Shinra Building, Basement K"
"O.k... If it's not there in twenty, the Pizza's free."
The voice on the other end hung up.****
"Hey Dude's I like brought your pizza, now where are you" Said the delivery boy on the other side of the door
"Hey is that like you, Pizza Dude Kenny" said Kyle
"Like it is, Kyle Dude" Kenny answered. Great thought Hojo, now I've got moronic babble in stereo.
"Kenny open the door and gives us our Pizza" ordered Rufus
"No way dude"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NO WAY"
"Like, you have to open the door and I give you the pizza"
"Open the door NOW!"
"But Dude, I can't deliver the Pizza, unless you open the door first"
"Pay you double if you open the door" tried Elena
"No, like I keep saying, you have to do that Babe"
"ARE YOU GOING TO OPEN THE DOOR AND GIVE US OUR PIZZA, OR NOT" Screamed Hojo
"Like not, I gotta go now See ya"
"Hey Kenny, wait" said Reno, a nasty glint in his eyes " It must be exhausting having to walk all the way back to the ground floor. Why don't you use the short cut?"
"Short Cut?" Said everyone including Kenny
"Yeah shortcut" He continued " You see that hatch with a little picture of a bin on it, well that's a short cut to the first floor."
"Don't listen, its like a trap Kenny it leads to the garbage..." Scarlet clamped her hand over Kyle's mouth.
"Kyle's lying cause he's jealous 'cause you can use the short cut and he can't" Continued Reno "so will you use it?"
"Yes, suspicious Dude" Kenny jumped into the garbage chute
"YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH" he cheered on his way down; unaware of the eventual crushing and or incinerating that awaited him.
"You killed Kenny" Sobbed Kyle
"Yes, I'm a Bastard ain't I" replied Reno, without a trace of remorse.
"THAT'S LIKE IT DUDES, I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY LONGER" Kyle pulled the basement key from his pocket and opened the door.
"Where the hell did that key come from!" Screamed Rufus.
"I LIKE FOUND IT THIS MORNING. BUT WOULD YOU LISTEN, NO. IT WAS ALWAYS SHUT UP KYLE, SIT DOWN KYLE, YOU KNOW NOTHING KYLE." He walked out and closed the door behind him.
" Joke is over Kyle, now let us out" Reno said nervously.
"THIS IS NOT A JOKE, JUST LIKE YOU KILLING KENNY WAS NOT LIKE A JOKE, YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE LET OUT"
"Kyle, I order you to open this door now" said Hojo
"I QUIT, SO I LIKE DON'T NEED TO TAKE ORDERS FROM YOU ANYMORE"
"I'll promote you to my personal sectary" tried Rufus
"DUDE, I LIKE HEARD WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR SECTARIES AND I'M NOT IN TO IT"
"You can have Reeves job" Suggested Reno
" Is it not enough for you to take my dignity, so you have to take my job as well" Reeve again began to cry.
"LIKE NO OFFENCE BORING DUDE, BUT YOUR JOBS LIKE BORING"
"Kya ha ha Kyle, you can be my personal sex slave"
"YOU LIKE SICKEN ME SCARLET, AND I THOUGHT YOU SAID I WAS ERGH"
"I'll.... Go out with you" Hazarded Elena.
"Like I thought you'd never asked Turk babe" Kyle opened the door, pulled Elena out then shut the door again.
"I'll go out with..." Began Reno
"YOU SICKEN ME" and with that Kyle and Elena began the long walk up several flights of stairs to the ground floor, while ignoring the anguished cries from the Basement.
THE END
Standard disclaimer: All characters [excluding Kyle] are property of Squaresoft/Square enix. I do not intend to make profit via using them.
Note: This is re-edited version of my first and only fanfiction story. I now mostly write originals. If you like this, find me on fictionpress.net.